Monday, December 30, 2013

Hyper

For the first time in ages I feel really hyper. I think it's a combination of having woken up early and done something (and it's only 3:26pm!) and the teh I drank. I woke up around 9:30am which is early by my slothful standards and went to meet Tiff at Serangoon to get our nails done. Reason why I went all the way to Serangoon to get my nails done was because Tiffany had bought a package at a nail parlour there for really cheap. The trip there was really fast, took me about 35 minutes in total. That's the time it takes for me to get to Dhoby Ghaut normally, and that's a far nearer location.

We walked about, went to NTUC and I bought lactose free skim milk, had lunch at Sushi Tei and then went to get our nails done. Was fun I must say, especially since I hadn't gone for anything of the sort in close to a year. I chose this colour changing shade (teal when cold, white when warm) which in hindsight is still cool but silly since Singapore is so warm all the time. As a result now my nails seem to be permanently white. Like I dropped too much correction liquid on them and just kept going.

Finished reading How to Read the Air by Dinaw Mengestu on Saturday night. His writing style reminds me of Kazuo Ishiguro's style. Very subtle. Show-not-tell. But so well done and vividly described that you can feel, empathise, understand exactly the flaws of his characters. Reading the book felt slightly stressful because I understood and remember every little bit of the tension that comes from a relationship not-quite-being-functional. Of loving someone but still being unable to live with them. Reading the book has made me feel even more UGH about relationships in general, reminds me of how tired I am of all the subtle strife and tensions of things-not-quite-articulated.

In other news I am now reading Othello. I'm not a fan of Shakespeare at all, but the storyline of Othello always appealed to me. The idea of jealously completely taking hold of someone and destroying them. I also realised that it seems no one studies Othello in Singapore for Lit. I personally had to study Romeo and Juliet, King Lear and Twelfth Night. I was NOT a fan of Romeo and Juliet and Twelfth Night and studying King Lear was a chore (for IOC! Gosh that was ages ago). Am reading Othello now because I feel I should at least have some Shakespearean knowledge as an English teacher, even if it's not a title that my students are studying. Plus I can talk about it and sound smart, haha.

So far the only thing I must note about Othello is that I find the ribald lines very very appalling. Sort of surprised me how smutty some of Shakespeare's lines could be:

"Iago: Even now, now, very now, an old black ram 
Is tupping your white ewe" (Act I Scene I) 

"Iago: You'll have your daughter covered with a Barbary horse" (Act I Scene I) 

"Iago: I am one sir, that comes to tell you, your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs." (Act I Scene I)

In retrospect they're all lines said solely by Iago to provoke Brabantio. While reading it I thought Roderigo said at least some of them but I guess I was wrong. I guess using such coarse language fits with Iago's character in knowing how to provoke the worst in people. 

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

4:04am



4:04am on Boxing Day and I am still up because I am now throughly stressed out (but also feeling very tired) because I have neglected to TOUCH! DO ANYTHING! LOOK AT! my Masters apps for over a week (before I went to Krabi!) even though I already started working on it pretty late. I wanted to concentrate on my GREs first, and even then after I was done I was still dragging my feet, telling myself it was alright to rest a bit. Bad idea.

On one hand I'm OK with waiting one more year and earning more money. On the other hand I think the expiry date of my current OK/PRETTY OK satisfaction with my job will run out in a few months time so I need to HAVE AN EXIT STRATEGY. Especially since they pull nonsense like FIDDLING WITH MY FAFFING WORKING HOURS (like this upcoming Friday) WITHOUT ASKING ME BEFOREHAND. Hello, that is not OK. Neither is making me teaching 4 classes in one day. I can already predict how I'll feel on Friday and Saturday: like shit. My colleagues will have to scape me off the damn floor. Grwarghhh.

Being exhausted makes me TYPING IN CAPS HAPPY. I think I need to cancel my gym visit tomorrow to sleep zzzz. 

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Krabiiiii

Came back from Krabi on Tuesday and today I finally wandered in to work only to find out that I was still on leave. I ended up finishing up my lunch and doing a tiny bit of marking before heading off to go cut my hair. Now my head feels much more lighter and my hair is much more shorter. I kind of forgot what having short(er) hair felt like!

Krabi was fun, and definitely memorable. For starters I think I have learned to be less cavalier about going out in the sun because I got terribly sunburned on the first full day of our trip there when Ianthe and I went island hopping. I've never gotten so badly burned in my life, urgh. Still the beaches were lovely and the sea was oh-so-clear-and-blue. The next day we went white water rafting, elephant trekking and waterfall a-swimming. The third day we walked to Nopparat Thara from Aonang, stepped on crabs and got scared, and went to watch a cabaret show. On our last day we walked along Aonang beach once more and I found a really nice conical shell in the knee-high shallows of the sea.

Today when I (accidentally) went back to work I realised how weary and strained every one looked. In contrast I felt spritely and energetic for once, un-worn. It was a lovely, lovely trip.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Moo

One thing I absolutely loathe about the holiday season is how I will invariably always end up frustrated and hating my job because it's precisely at this period that they completely forget that teachers are human too, and instead treat us like cattle - creatures whose feelings can be easily disregarded and thrown at to pad up numbers. I hate being treated this way (but then again, would anyone like to be treated this way?) and feel like I lose a bit of myself. I lose the reason why I got into this profession in the first place, I lose my good temper and affability and I lose my health.

I am literally counting down the hours till I am off to Krabi with Ianthe. I need some of my vitality restored again before I turn into some child-management-eating monster. CHOMP I shall go, as I bite the head off some hapless human, and laugh I will over their blood splattering everywhere.

I am oh so weary and frustrated of my job now.

Then again even though I'm so tired of this job, I know I'm at least doing a passably good job of it when I see the smiles and cheerful goodbyes of my students.