Interview with a Vampire

I have just finished reading Interview with a Vampire by Anne Rice. An old novel (published 1976!) it is well known in popular culture, along with the movie in 1994, and apparently a recent reboot in the form of a tv series. Now, I must preface this post by saying that I have somehow, at the ripe old age of 34, avoided all forms of contact with anything Interview with a Vampire-Anne Rice until now. I had a vague idea of the movie starring Brad Pitt, but that was about it. I remember changing the channels when the movie used to appear as reruns on Channel 5. I simply do not care for vampire fantasy anything. I get it intellectually, but don't really see the appeal. So even though I know the novel by Anne Rice is of some significant acclaim, I didn't really feel the push to read it, that is until it came up in a conversation I had with a friend, Fin. Fin is a huge horror movie buff, and somehow that book came up when we met at a coffee shop sometime in late Aug (or maybe early Sept, it was before E started Kindergarten). Anyway Fin urged me to read it, and I said I'd give it some serious consideration. 

I was looking for another book in the library when I happened to come across a copy of Interview with a Vampire. I was quite surprised because it was a small library - just like all the libraries in Bergen County are small - and I knew they frequently weeded their collection thanks to the forever ongoing book sale right by their front entrance. Yet there it remained, so I pulled it out of the shelf... and immediately burst out laughing. I did borrow the book, but texted pictures of the front and back cover to my friends to also laugh at:

Anyway thanks to that ridiculous cover, I didn't really have much expectations about the book. But boy was I fooled. This novel was no pulp-y, easily digestible thing. Instead it was deeply introspective, wrought out, and required focus to fully appreciate it's many intricacies. And given that I seldom have time to read or the mind to focus, it has taken me at least 3 weeks to finish this novel, because I am so tired from what I am reading. It feels draining to inhabit the passive, agonized world of Louis, and all his feelings and thoughts. 

I took notes of some sections I enjoyed reading: "Not try to separate that loss from some other oppressive realization: that in Europe I'd found no truths to lessen loneliness, transform despair. Rather, I'd found only the inner workings of my own small soul, the pain of Claudia's, and a passion for a vampire who was perhaps even more evil than Lestat, for whom I became as evil as Lestat, but in whom I saw the only promise of good in evil of which I could conceive." and 

"Before, all art had held for me the promise of a deeper understanding of the human heart. Now the human heart meant nothing. I did not denigrate it. I simply forgot it. The magnificent paintings of the Louvre were not for me intimately connected with the hands that had painted them. They were cut loose and dead like children turned to stone... and of course... they could all be reduced to ashes."

Anyway, you can get an idea of the sort of lyricism that this novel abounds with. Every word and every sentence required focus and attention, and that left me tired. I had to take a nap after I finished the climax of the novel, before starting Part 4, the last section of the book. But anyway I am done, and I am glad to have read this book.

Weekly Schedule 2024 - 2025

This year E started attending Kindergarten 5 times a week, and M started 3 times a week at a nearby day care too. I also make an effort to attend yoga at least once a week, and call my parents in the morning. A typical week thus goes as follows:

Mondays

Drop E off at school by 8:50am, bring M to gym from 9:30am to 10:15am. Sometimes do chores like grocery shopping afterwards.

Pick up E at 3:20pm, bring E to girl scouts if there is a meeting that week (lasts usually an hour), finding a way to entertain M in the interim. Attempt homework with E. The evening routine (and for all days of the weekday) is usually cook dinner/reheat dinner, bathe girls if there is energy and time, feed girls if Jon is coming home late.

Tuesdays

Drop E off at school, drop M off at school right after. Chores/go home.

Pick up E, bring her to Kumon. Wait at Kumon for E to finish. Go to pick up M together. Attempt homework with E. 

Wednesdays

Drop E off at school, drop M off at school right after. Chores/go home/yoga. 

Pick up E, bring her to gym. Wait at gym, go to the nearby library, or go grocery shopping. After class is finished, go to pick up M together. Attempt homework with E. 

Thursdays

Remind E to return her school library book. Drop E off at school, drop M off at school right after. Chores/go home/yoga.

Pick E up, bring her home to finish any undone homework (!!!) Pick M up and bring her home. 

Fridays

Drop E off at school. Play with M at home (or library nearby if I have energy... I usually don't)

Pick E up, bring her to Kumon. Wait at Kumon with M (which SUCKS), or bring her out to the grocery store nearby to get nonsense. Pick E up and head home. 

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While on one hand it seems like I have a lot of spare time (and I do! I am very lucky compared to others), so much of my spare time is just spent napping because rare is the night that I get a full night of undisturbed rest. M wakes me up every night, either because she is suddenly itchy, or wants my arm, and I am right there next to her in bed for her to disturb. Furthermore, on days that M goes to day care, she naps there too and I can only get her to sleep around 10pm. And if I don't get enough rest, I am so drained by 6pm and start to get headaches and/or crazy stomach symptoms, so I need to nap. I am so tired in general, and of course house chores are never-ending. And so, thus is my life nowadays.

Trunk or Treat

This year we participated as Trunks in two Trunk or Treats - one at E's school, and the other at one run by our church. I originally didn't want to do it twice, but because they were sorely lacking volunteers at the one at E's school and would have cancelled the event otherwise, I signed us up. It was a nice experience, and I know more about decorating and what to expect for next year. 

What I didn't like however, was us ending up going home with giant bags of ungiven out candy (I was worried there wasn't enough, and had brought more to give out), and my kids gorging themselves on it instead during the week. Furthermore, during the Trunk or Treat events themselves, when Jon and I were busy giving out candy to other kids, E and M were tearing through their entire bounties. I feel slightly nauseous just thinking of the sheer amount of sugar that has been consumed. Meanwhile, we haven't actually had Halloween yet - that's a few days away. Who knows what will happen on that day, Jon will be working and I will have to manage both girls myself, since it seems people tend to go Trick or Treating on the earlier side in NJ.

Cycling

 Last week I bought a second hand bicycle off FB marketplace. It was my 2nd attempt at buying a bicycle - the first one at 26" wheel size was too big for me to stand comfortably - and I had hoped this one would work out. E was with me at the time, because her school hadn't started yet, so when I was trying it outside, she of course wanted to join in on her own little bicycle. 

I don't know when the last time I cycled was, but it was at least 10 years ago. I don't recall ever having cycled in the US, and the 2 years preceding that I was busy working and don't think I managed to cycle with my Dad at East Coast Park on a rented bicycle (although I have fond memories of those sort of outings). I was not a good cyclist 10 years ago, and now 20 to 30 lbs heavier and with messed up hips (thanks pregnancy!), getting on a bicycle again was very stressful because 1) I didn't want to fall (of course), 2) Falling now would suck a lot more than falling 10 years ago, 3) I had a little child following me around and unable to actually properly cycle on her own.

So after going up and down the road a little but last week, and managing to figure out how to brake properly, not fall off, and change the gears, I put the bicycle away in favour of being Mum and helping E cycle somewhat. We ended up meeting the neighbours and their kids, and the oldest boy ended up helping E the most while I chatted with Grandma who was watching them outside. 

Anyway this week, E has finally started Kindergarten, and so she is off at school. M is at her day care on Tues, Weds, and Thurs. So last night, while trying to sleep, I suddenly got the idea that I could cycle to the town library (since it's all small residential roads) to pick up a book that I had requested. My aim was just to be familiar with cycling, and if I couldn't make it to the library/make it back, I'd just walk home and drive to retrieve the bicycle. 

I ended up taking about maybe 10 minutes to cycle to the library. It was a very nerve wracking 10 minutes, because I also never noticed before how the path there is ever-so-slightly downhill. My tailbone also ached like hell. Once I got to the library I was just so relieved, and I ended up taking a break there to read for a bit before setting off for home. While almost halfway back, I saw one of the other Moms from E's class, and doubled back a little to say Hi. This Mom told me about another path that goes around the North end of the lake (the road and route I took is to the South of the lake), and so after saying Bye, I went to explore a little bit. Well, I found the path after asking for directions, and am happy I found it. Then I cycled back, and it was such a pain because I was going ever-so-slightly uphill and my muscles are very out of shape. 

Overall I am happy I managed to go on this little excursion/exercise and sustain no injuries.

24 Hours

The last 24 hours (ok, 25, to be precise) have absolutely sucked. Nothing life alteringly bad, but endlessly shitty nonetheless. It was already a busy and tiring week, with E no longer at the town summer camp, but instead the much shorter gym camp (9:30am to 12pm vs 8:30am to 2:30pm), and M waking up and screaming multiple times a night, every night. Everything was tiring but still OK until Friday (into today), when for some reason all of the bad luck and crappiness happened all at once.

The first bad thing that happened was when I was in the library yesterday with M. We were there for Friday story and playtime. M wanted me to carry her, and while I was carrying her to the adult section so I could browse, my left ankle twisted and we both fell down. Luckily the library was carpeted, but it was still awful. The last time I had a big fall like that must have been close to a decade ago, Anyway because I was carrying her and she fell too, M was crying, though I think it was more from shock than injury. I ended up rolling onto my back and just staring at the ceiling for a while to gather myself. In some sort of weird fluke, no one saw us fall, and I guess we made no noise besides M crying, so no one came to help either (maybe that was a good thing, less embarrassing?)

The second was when I was drinking my usual afternoon tea at the computer. I had sipped maybe 5% of it, and was thinking about the things I needed to do (schedule fall classes for the kids, reschedule a doctor's appointment, etc.), when I knocked the cup over, all over my left thigh. While luckily the tea wasn't scalding hot, it was still quite warm and I am sure I burned off the top layer of skin cells. Not to mention, there was so much tea and it spilled onto me, the upholstered chair, the floor, and my current knitting WIP. And because I now had to clean up and wash off the tea, I had no time to make another cuppa, so I would have to forego my caffeine for the afternoon. 

Finally the last for Friday was when I couldn't find my phone after coming back from Kumon. I had given M my phone while E was in Kumon class, and I read a library book instead to pass the time. Sometime during the session, M had pooped and I could smell it, which made me feel stressed because I am sure everyone else waiting for their child could smell it too, and I felt bad. The usual getting-into-the-car chaos ensued when E came out, and I drove home thinking to bathe M immediately. Right before bathing M however, I decided to get my phone from my bad and couldn't find it. Worried, I used Google Find my Device, and it said my phone was at Kumon. Fuck. 

After bathing M and stressing to myself, I drove back to Kumon. I walked in, fully expecting that my phone had been found and was in the possession of a teacher. Instead, I found out to my horror that no one had seen my phone, and that I had unintentionally created a small commotion in the quiet classroom. All the kids that had been quietly working had heard me, and had turned to look, excited at the occurrence of any unusual event. E's teacher however, recalled that she had seen M holding the phone when we left, and asked me to retrace my steps. I went outside to look around, and while looking around opened the passenger door to the car to poke around further, and saw my phone lying on its side between the passenger seat and the car door. FUCK. I went back inside again to tell them that I had found my phone, faffing that it was "somewhere outside", and went inside the car to cry.

That night I basically stayed in the bedroom reading by myself while Jon dealt with the kids. The next day I somehow woke up at 10:30am, and felt restored. I thought the run of shitty things had ended with the dawning of a new day, but I was wrong. Instead, after we all piled into the Rav4 to head out to lunch, we found the car battery had died. We switched gears to drive to the nearby grocery store to pick up already prepared food for lunch, and luckily Jon figured out that he could jump-start the car and drive it straight away to Valvoline to get a new car battery. He managed to borrow a jumper cable from our next door neighbour, and he even came over to teach Jon how to use it, which was really nice to him. This whole time period however, was immensely stressful. We didn't know if and how to fix the problem initially, and how long the whole process would take. I needed the car during the weekdays to drive the kids around. Jon proposed taking a taxi to work at one point and I would use his car instead. I felt under so much strain, and I was so exhausted from the previous day, so when Jon finally came home in the mid-afternoon after getting the car fixed, my sense of relief was palpable. 

It can't get worse than these 24 hours, right?

Tahdig

I've been lucky to have been exposed to a huge range of cuisines throughout my life, so now at the ripe old age of 34 (lol), there are few dishes I haven't tried. Still however, as of about a year ago, and cemented definitively by my cravings this year, there is a Persian dish that has now become one of my favourites - Tahdig.

I first learned about Persian food throughout my twenties, from literature like Chicken with Plums by Marjane Satrapi. And from similar sources like that I learned about Fesenjan, stewed chicken with pomegranates, which is one of the most famous Persian dishes. I wasn't too interested in it however, the combinations sounded odd and jarring, too exotic for my tastes.

The first time I tried Persian food was in NYC with Deni. It was at a small eatery in the Flatiron district that had a few vendors. I think it was soon after halloween, because I remember taking to Deni about the Spirit Halloween store nearby being on clearance. I don't even remember what year it was, but I guess it must have been before she moved to D.C.. It might also have been a weekend, because the eatery was half closed, but the Persian side was open. It was run by a jolly middle aged man, and that was the first time I tried Fesenjan and was overwhelmed by the clash of flavours. I don't remember exactly what else we ordered. I left the experience thinking I was glad that I had tried it, but that I wasn't exactly keen to try it again. 

In STL however, after we moved to Creve Coeur, Jon and I saw on Google maps that there was a curiously placed restaurant in Bridgeton, in a dead strip mall right by the 270 and a Chic-Fil-A (that was always busy, of course), called Esther's Persian Kitchen. Bridgeton is well, a little dumpy. It's utilitarian, but boy it is an ugly place. It also seems like a weird spot to have a Persian eatery, so out of curiosity we went there to try it out. It was also probably at least 5 years since my last experience eating Persian food in NYC. 

Esther's Persian Kitchen turned out to be another one-man show. Esther was the name of the guy's daughter, and she encouraged her father to set up a little eatery. There was never much foot traffic every time we visited, but it was just as well because the owner was always running around doing everything. We visited at least 3 times, and it was during one of these trips that I discovered the beauty that is Tahdig, and fell in love.

Tahdig is basically burnt rice crust, usually served with stew. It is so simple an idea, like the brunt rice that sticks to the claypot in Claypot Chicken Rice, except there is more of it and it is consistently burnt in a disk. Mmmmmm. I can't logically explain why I love something so simple so much, but I do. I guess by the same token, I also love Guo Ba.

Anyway one of the things I was sad about moving away from STL was missing the food. We had a Nicaraguan place we loved (Fritanga), a fusion Asian place (Lona's Little Eats), great BBQ (Salt and Smoke, Pappy's), Southern Fried Chicken (Grace Meat + Three), Balkan food (Balkan Treat Box), diner breakfast (Original Pancake House), and etc. It turned out however that in the case of Persian food, we lucked out moving to our current location, because for some reason, there are not one, but two Persian restaurants in nearby Ridgewood. So far we have tried both of them, and the Tahdig they serve satisfies my cravings. 

These two restaurants, Pardis and Parisa, are both very nice and elegant places. They have table cloths and water glasses made of glass. They also of course, have nice prices to match. While I am happy that I am able to easily satisfy my craving for Tahdig, there is still something I prefer and miss about the Tahdig made by the one man place in STL, in the run down dumpy strip mall.

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This disjointed post, which falls far below my own expectations of my writing skills, but which I will post anyway, is brought to you by my children who have (during the time I was trying to write):

1. Did their homework half way and then ran around
2. Threw all the toy food out of the bin
3. Spilled Capri Sun somewhere in the house
4. Crawled under the computer table and poked my foot
5. Run off to poop
6. Chased after the one running off to poop with a broom

It's no wonder I feel like a gormless moron nowadays.

Things My Kids Did Yesterday

Yesterday was an especially aggravating day. It started normally for a Monday - get kids ready, drop off E at Summer Camp, attend toddler gym class with M, grocery shopping, etc., but after E got home it all went downhill, and by the time Jon got home at 6:30pm, I wanted to punch something. 

First were the two giant messes the kids created yesterday that were very hard to clean up: E knocked over a bottle of maple syrup and didn't notice until much later, and M scattered Jon's 'Smart Bran' cereal all over the couch. The maple syrup was sticky as hell, and unrelenting in it's decision to adhere to the floor tiles (Jon told me even after I cleaned it took him 1hr to get remove all of it), and I had no choice but to start cooking dinner even though the floor was still sticky (which pissed me off even more). Then, I was in the midst of cooking when I saw M dig through the cupboards to take out the box of Smart Bran, and could have lunged to stop here, but was in the middle of a task. Next thing I heard was E screaming that M made a mess, but of course I couldn't see how bad the mess was until later. 

It wasn't until I finished cooking that I saw the mess. The Smart Bran looks like hamster cage food/cage liner, and it's the same bloody tiny size. And it was ALL OVER THE COUCH in thick layers. There was so much that I had to empty out the handheld vacuum. Meanwhile, every time I lifted up the cushions to get to the bits that had fallen through the cushion gaps, I saw more cereal shower through the foundation of the couch and onto the floor. I was so angry, I yelled at the kids to go shower (which to be fair they dutifully did, because In I think I startled them).

Second were the fights. After E got home she started playing with her dollhouse and her new Ghost Spider doll, and M wanted to join in. They kept fighting and there was some hitting and crying and screaming. Totally normal for them. It was quiet for a while when they found the Play Doh (that I now have to go clean up, 18h later). But after I shouted them up the stairs to bath, and was already seething trying to clean up the cereal, they started fighting over the positions in the bathtub and were screaming for Mummy. God damn it. 

Third were the unnecessary (but also typical) bullshit that the kids do. At one point, I think after E shoved her away from the dollhouse, M somehow found a pair of scissors. I was at the computer and suddenly heard a snipping sound, and turned around to see whole locks of hair all over the ground and I screamed. I was just trying to get a short rest before cooking dinner. And now there was a toddler with chopped off hair (somehow not that noticeable, but now she has hair shorter on her left side), and lots of fine hair flying all over the place. Even before that however, I had been nagging E to do her Kumon work. Every day, especially when M is around, I need to constantly nag E to focus and concentrate on doing her Kumon. One time it took her 1 and a half hours to finish it, when it normally takes 30 minutes. It is just aggravating getting her to focus. Then of course later, while I was cooking, I saw M dump snacks out of a plastic bin for no good reason. She just thought it was funny. I later made her pick it up. 

Fourth was the weather. There has been a heatwave in NJ for the last 2 weeks. Yesterday I finally started developing a heat rash. Urgh.

Fifth was the lengthy time needed to make dinner. I was making chicken pot pie, with the idea that it would give a good amount of leftovers for at least two dinners + other lunches for the week. That did mean however that I spent at least 1 and half hours cooking yesterday, not even including the actual clean up. Cooking for that long is just exhausting, meanwhile you are distracted and the kids run wild (see: M grabbing the Smart Bran).

Anyway today M is in daycare. She started 2 weeks ago, and every day except for the first day drop-off has involved a lot of screaming and crying. Today however, she didn't fuss at all. I tried bribing her with Youtube on the way to drop off and a new unicorn stuffed toy, and maybe it worked. I don't know. Let's see how drop-off tomorrow goes.

June

My June has basically gone like this:

1 week slightly manic and exercising often

2 weeks depressed and lying in bed a lot

1 week down with a slight migraine, so still lying in bed a lot.

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In other news, I have started to learn how to knit. I've knit on and off for many years, but it was all simple knit and purl stitches, so I basically did ribbing and garter stitch items. This time I am learning for real. The current project I am on uses a 15 row repeat sequence that has ssk, s1-k2tog-psso stitches. Thank goodness for helpful YouTube videos on how to do those stitches. 

I finished the crochet top exactly a week ago, but I need to finish weaving in all the ends. It is so soft, but horrendously heavy because I used a bamboo viscose cotton mix. Idk how much I will be able to actually wear it, but I really do like how it looks. 

Songs

M's favourite current song is: Twinkle twinkle little star

E's favourite current song is: Invisible Touch by Genesis (idk why she likes Phil Collins so much)

I don't have a current favourite song, but the for the last week or so, Never Stop by Echo and the Bunnymen + Blue Monday by New Order have been playing through my mind.

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I am currently working on my first crochet top for myself. I did a sweater for M years ago when she was about 1 year old, and it was such a pain in the butt trying to estimate the size and stitches to make it bigger (the pattern was for a baby, but I wanted a toddler-sized one). I spent a while finding an nice pattern on etsy, and deciding on a cotton blend yarn that I wanted to use. I was very excited when the yarn arrived on Tuesday evening, and started on it on Wednesday afternoon. 

So far I have completed 14 rounds and am currently working on the 15th, and it looks like this now: 

I am excited to see how it looks when it is finished.

M Words

 Funny things M says, in her toddler babble at age 2 years and 4 months:

1) Chum - means 'some', usually refers to seltzer

2) Mote - means 'remote', i.e.: the TV

3) Marshall - means 'paw patrol', which she loves to watch - all of the paw patrol members are called Marshall

4) Yok - means 'look', which she usually says when she wants us to see something

5) Oh-kay - she says this in a very resigned tone of voice, usually when we are telling her to stop doing something

6) Juju - means 'pacifier', which she is STILL addicted to, gosh

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For the longest time, M referred to colours as "Mommy", "Daddy", "Baby", etc. I thought she was being slow/daft, but it took us a while before I figured out that she was saying that because she associated colours with the Baby Shark song. Mommy Shark is pink, Daddy shark is blue, and Baby shark is yellow. Now after a momth+ after we figured that out and constant teaching, she is able to say colors mostly accurately. The one that trips her up is blue and green. Generally I think compared to E, she doesn't speak as much, mainly because she doesn't care to. 

Her favourite word for the last few months is, "No". When she is particularly agitated, like after I deliberately annoy her (which is very easy to do), she gets upset and yells, "No no no no!!!" and shakes her head violently. I don't remember when she started doing this, but she was already doing it when we visited Singapore in Dec 2023, so it's been a while.