Sampling Frame

Out of all the sciences, my most favourite was Biology. Couldn't wrap my head around Chemistry or Physics for the life of me, but Biology brought me a strange sort of joy. Unlike the other two sciences, Biology allowed me to understand and make sense of the things around me that could be easily seen and discerned, and to look at my various body parts and think about them mechanically, like parts of a machine (or in my case, a very badly functioning one). I've been thinking about Biology again recently however because of a very silly reason: sampling frames.

Context: I'm taking Mixed Methods for research now over Summer, and I'm surprised by how much I'm enjoying it.

In my Summer A class now we've been doing a fair amount of work on different types of research methods (surveys, interviews, focus groups, etc.), and for the past week have been focusing on surveys. I can't say I thought very much about surveys before, but since encountering the material I realised I had learnt a bit about surveys before - from Biology class. There was a page or two on conducting population surveys of plants, and I remember reading about the different types of methodology one could use to count the flora (and maybe very small fauna?). One method however I remembered vividly, because of the image I had in my mind every time I read it: the random sampling frame. For some reason, I envisioned a scientist grasping a literal white coloured frame and tossing it around at random, and that image always amused me. Now donkey years later (maybe 10?), every time the term "sampling frame" is mentioned in class, I cannot help but smile and imagine someone throwing a frame around. 

It's funny what one remembers from school. 

In other news, I feel quite incoherent today. Today has been the 3rd time I've been to Columbia Health in the past 2 weeks. I'm very tired of being sick, would like to know what's wrong with me, and would like to get better. Thanks.

Unholy Mess

Half cause I'm just starting to move out and half because I'm still feeling sick and all over the place, my room has now evolved into an unholy mess. I feel great unease when I cast my eyes around, but I have no idea what to do. I could clean it up, but everything is within easy grabbing length. I could work towards reducing the amount of crap I have (an ever present theme in my life whenever I have to move), but the crap gives me some sort of comfort. I don't know. I don't feel very relaxed.

On the upside, I have decided to make teochew porridge with the canned fried black bean fish for lunch. I am really looking forward to it. Thinking about it makes me feel comforted.

Taking Ill

I don't think I've ever been so sick away from home before, and feeling so miserable to boot. I have not been able to sleep properly for the past 3 nights because I keep waking up feeling like I'm being choked and coughing like crazy. I saw the doctor on Friday, and he gave me a whole range of medicines for asthma, but somehow the symptoms don't seem to be getting any better. Meanwhile I've been taking almost any sort of medicine that seems like it'll help my symptoms, to the extent that I'm probably overdoing it.

I feel terrible.

Food Pictures

I seldom take pictures of my food unless they're unusual and memorable, but since I've been clearing my phone to free up space, I thought I'd post the pictures here.

The tastiest (and classiest) vegetarian appetiser that ever existed, as spreads for pita. Had this in Washington DC with Garam when we were there for the CIES conference in April.

Nicaraguan tamale which I bought from the world culture fair in the Zocalo in Mexico City. Was extremely large, incredibly filling, and very tasty.

Mole poblano enchiladas in Puebla. Would not eat again. Not a fan of mole.

Entomatadas con pollo in a small market stall in Oaxaca.  Loved it. Ordered it without knowing what entomatadas were, and because everyone in the stall couldn't speak English, they gave me a small taste on a plate for my approval first. Ended up talking in pidgin English and Spanish to all the patrons at the stall, trying to explain to them what Singapore was like. Was one of the must fun meals I've had.

Mexico Travels

From 14 to 21 May, I travelled for about a week around central Mexico by myself. I hit 3 spots: Mexico City, Puebla and Oaxaca. I decided that travelling for 8 whole days by myself is way too tiring for my taste, though I'm glad I did it. I saw Teotihuacan and Monte Alban too. I realised I haven't written about my travels in a long time and when I go back and reread my old entries, I like looking at the pictures most (HAH), so for posterity reasons I've decided to sit down and at least hammer something out.

First picture I took in Mexico, at the side of the Cathedral in Mexico City. Thought the statue looked bizarrely creepy.

Some sort of world fair thing that I visited in the Zocalo of Mexico City on my first day. Enjoyed it immensely, and even bought myself some Bandung from the Malaysia stall.

Funny smiling jaguar sculpture at the Museo Nacional de Antropologia. My favourite of all.

 Quetzalcoatl temple at Teotihuacan

Visitors sitting atop the Pyramid of the Sun, looking at the Pyramid of the Moon at Teotihuacan. 

The Zocalo in Puebla on a Sunday 

I kept feeling impressed by the relics I saw in the various museums [this one was Museo Amparo in Puebla]. How the hell did this "Personaje con mascara y serpientes en el tocado" from 600 to 900 A.D. not break?

 Santo Domingo Church in Oaxaca, also the site of the province's museum.

More funny relics in Museo de las Culturas de Oaxaca. I like. 

And finally, Monte Alban, just outside the centre of Oaxaca. 

I am quite a terrible travel writer. I'm better when I'm writing about my emotions or something. 

Overworked Liver

I think my poor liver has been terribly overworked for the past week or so, since I have been stricken with with all sorts of strange and varying ailments (first sore throat, then lots of phlegm, then lots of coughing, and now a stuffed nose and slightly painful throat) and have been taking all sort of medicines to try and make them go away. So far I have been unsuccessful, and feeling not-too-happy as a result. It's hard to feel jubilant when I cough until I feel nauseous. On the other hand, at least it's been nice and cool for the past few days, giving me respite from the almost continuous heat exhaustion I've been feeling. I really am a canary in a coal mine. 

Themed Songs

Songs I have been listening to for the past week:

Tracy Chapman - Fast Car
The Cardigans - Communciation
Via Audio - Harder on Me
Jimmy Ruffin - What Becomes of the Brokenhearted
P!nk - Try

Paper Mill

I tell myself that I have done History papers all my life. That I can totally crank out a coherent 5,000 word historiographical essay in a matter of days [due: Wednesday 13 May 2015], because this is my jam. That History is my forte, and so is writing great History essays. But oh Dear God am I stressed out. Doesn't help that things have been weighing (as they do) on my chest, so that my mind is really only work 80% on this damned paper while the other 20% tries to make my body and emotions calm down enough to work [affect theory makes so much sense to me]. Wish I was a more functional human being with less Issues. Then maybe I could write this History paper faster.

On another note, this may well be the last History paper I ever write if I don't do a PhD. Not sure why I didn't think about this when I finished my undergrad. Possibly because I still wanted to do Grad school, and could not even comprehend studying for any degree other than History. Ooof.

I love History, but G8100y has taught me that there is no way in hell that I will ever touch Medieval history with a ten foot pole again. 

Changed Beliefs

After spending 3 years laughing at the Communist/Marxist booth along Houghton Street in LSE, I realised suddenly today that I am now a firm believer in the Marxist theory of education and the social/culture reproduction of the hidden curriculum. What a sea change. 

Gap in the (Musical) Literature

There needs to be a song written for people who have just started dating someone, but have no idea what's going on in the other person's head, or what the fuck is going to happen. Because I don't like uncertainty and would like a song to sing along to. 

Funny Musical Taste

Every time exam/finals season comes around, I end up listening to music far more often than usual. Within the past week I've just bought 6 songs from Amazon, and it's a rather strange list:-

Jim Croce - Time in a Bottle
Roberta Flack - Killing me Softly with his Song
Tracy Chapman - Baby can I Hold you
Tracy Chapman - Give me One Reason
Avicii - Hey Brother
Sting - Shape of my Heart

The last thing I bought before these singles was Arcade Fire's Reflektor CD. So, I suppose my music preferences are all over the place and can't be mapped nicely.

April is the Cruelest Month

So far in these past two weeks I have fallen sick with a cold, been stricken with multiple headaches, and have suffered yet another bout of depression. Now that my depression is finally abating, my cold has decided to resurface again. I am now quite opposite of what a happy camper is. On the upside, at least I am a vaguely functional human being again.

Although the blooming flowers outside are quite pretty, the various flip flops in the April weather frustrate me to no end. I don't think the weather was this scatty when I was living in London. I am unused to this.

Shorts

Today is the first day that is truly, truly, shorts weather in NYC, and I'm not happy about it. I am terrible with both adapting to heat and looking good in shorts/skimpy clothing. So now I feel like an overheated, bleached white-yellow whale (ok, only for my thighs) that is dressed in unfashionable clothing. Fantastic for my self-esteem.

In other news, over the past week I realised that a long of songs I like were sung by Fleetwood Mac. I somehow just never connected the dots. As a result, I have been listening to a lot of Fleetwood Mac over the past week, trying to regain all the time I lost when I was oblivious.

Food Smells

One thing I find exceedingly annoying about living back in a dorm is the crazy amount of food smells we have in our tiny, non-circulating-air kitchen. I was boiling my eggs earlier and watching a neighbour cook his veggies, and realised upon going back to my room and eating my sad fare that my hair now smelled of food and oil. Now as I try to concentrate on Chris Wickham's Framing the Middle Ages, I find myself utterly distracted and repulsed by the fact that I can smell food in my hair. This makes me feel really dirty, and also annoyed with my meagre lunch of boiled eggs and potatoes [I am on a pseudo diet]. ARGHGARGHBARGH.

I have no idea how people manage to go for a few days without washing their hair. They must be the people that don't cook, or don't live with people who cook in a tiny enclosed kitchen. 

The Bronze Horseman

I finished reading The Bronze Horseman by Paullina Simons a few nights ago, in one feverish stretch where I wanted to see what happened to the characters at the end of the story... and it turned out to be a not-very-happy one. Then I realised it was actually the first book for a trilogy, and immediately went onto Amazon to buy the other two books. I feel slightly annoyed because I wasn't exactly taken with the rather unsophisticated writing and rather melodramatic style of the prose (wanted to murder all the characters several times over), but nonetheless I want to read about a happy ending, while learning just how more miserable the story could get. Tis very much a love-hate sort of thing, a book that's unworthy of serious consideration, but one that makes you want to find out what nonsense it conjures up before it ends.

On another strange note, around the time I was getting very (undeservedly) immersed in The Bronze Horseman, I also started listening to Reflektor by Arcade Fire after putting it off for about two years. As a result, in my mind I now associate the songs with the (sub-par!) story, particularly Awful Sound (Oh Eurydice) and It's Never Over (Hey Orpheus). I cannot listen to them now without thinking about the two characters of the book now, Tatiana and Alexander, which makes me feel simultaneously wistful and annoyed.

I wonder how long Amazon will take to ship the second-hand copies over :x 

More Driving Nonsense

Had my 3rd US driving lesson yesterday, and my test is set for next Friday, 10th April. I am not at all confident in driving :x I realised yesterday that every time I step into a car after quite an interval (like a month!) I forget almost everything. Like which pedal is the brake, and which one is the accelerator. Doesn't quite help that I am unfamiliar with the *special* American ways of turning left. I think when I get my licence I'll just make only right turns.

On the other hand, my US driving instructor (a nice lady called Parveen) has a good mnemonic for parallel parking: Triple R (reverse, signal right, turn the wheel all the way to the right), turn all the way to the left, then drive forward a few inches.

I really hope I pass next Friday (can't stand any more mockery!), but even if I do pass and get my licence, I have no car to drive, and little to no confidence in my skills. Rather silly. 

25

I am turning 25 on Thursday.

I have a paper due tomorrow at 3pm (16 hours away!), and I have written just 10% of it.

This is not how I envisioned I'd be at 25.

Then again, I'm not 25 yet.

Fucking Horden and Purcell

This term I am taking an advanced level course in Medieval Mediterranean history. So far we have read the two hefty volumes of Braudel's The Mediterranean, which felt like a grandfather story but was largely coherent and very understandable. This week however, we need to read Horden and Purcell's The Corrupting Sea. So far I have made it to page 475. It feels more like page 4750. Goddamnit.

I cannot recall ever having felt so frustrated and so stupid from reading a history book before. I feel like I don't know what the fuck is happening, meanwhile the super dense narrative style of the book makes me want to projectile vomit all over the fucking tome. If I read the word "mutable" or "teological", or "insert-word-that-most-normal-people-require-a-dictionary-for" one more time, I might just go out and murder the next human being I see. Or fling the book out of my window and watch it fly seven stories down and hit the pavement of Amsterdam Avenue. I am that frustrated.

Best of all, we need to do a book review on The Corrupting Sea as a mid-term paper. As the only non-American trained historian (hello British very-different-school-of-thought!), non-Medieval person, non-fucking Columbia College person and non-reader of French/Latin/German/whatever fucking else language, I already feel vastly inferior compared to my classmates. This book just compounds all of my worst intellectual complexes, and makes me feel utterly like shit.

Who knew words had such great and terrible power?

Two Adams and a Brian

I realised last night, counting back in my head while lying in bed and trying to sleep, that I have been single for the past 1 year and 6 months. Maybe that's why now whenever I feel that I have been thwarted by love, I feel such despair and resignation. That Holy Shit Why Not Me? feeling. That maybe, just maybe, I am completely losing my marbles over this thing called 'love'. But then again I have an established track record of losing my marbles. Just that this is a new trigger to me losing my marbles. I don't recall caring so much before, or feeling so emotionally swept up in things.

Perhaps I just need to start exercising more, haha. And remembering that there is hell lot of others things I could be knuckling down to do instead.

Daft, useless emotions.

New Years Resolutions - 2015

Some resolutions for the new year ahead, something I haven't done (that is, actually thought of and resolved to do) for the past few years, we'll see if the ones I made now pan out:
Resolution 1 - Lose weight to 54kg
Reason: Have been middling about 55kg for the past few years, until now when I seem to have hit 56-57kg. Not cool.

Resolution 2 - Visit Mexico, see Aztec ruins
Reason: Meant to book a trip to do it this Winter break, but procrastinated so much/got distracted by other things, and hence never booked anything. UGH.

Resolution 3 - Get a summer internship
Reason: Is very very very important to helping me determine what I want/need to do in my career.

Resolution 4 - Watch an opera
Reason: Again, meant to watch one a few months ago, but kept putting it off, until the Met opera took a break for the winter season. Must watch Carmen within the new few months, if I am ever to experience an opera performance at all!

Resolution 5 - Get a driving licence
Reason: I would like to get this crucial life skill over and done with, thanks.