I feel like shit

Since coming back to Singapore, I've had far far better days.

My Aunt Janet died 1 day before I was due to fly back. I was notified by a text from my mother while I was packing. I looked at the text, sat down and then got up, sat down again. I was too stunned. I ignored the text and half chatted to Zoe/packed. My mother called me. The past two days since I've arrived back in Singapore were spent at a void deck in Buangkok at a funeral. I was not too close to Aunty Janet, I saw her like maybe 2-3 times a year, but of all the Aunts on my mother's side, she was one of the closest. She was always happy and smiling, in her happy-go-lucky way. The last time I saw her was in December, ironically at a death anniversary of a relative. I was curious and wanted to watch what was happening, and she told me to go closer and watch. Well, I can now honestly say I've witnessed a full Chinese funeral.

I saw my Guo Mah wail, at the death of one of her youngest children of 8. My cousins crying, my aunts and uncles crying. One of the worst was seeing my Uncle, her husband cry. I wasn't even around at the hospital when she died, my mother said that was worst. I am all worn out now.

That, amongst other things, makes me wish I had never left London.