Bye Bye Saffron

 

On the 24th of July, Saffron passed away at the grand age of 19 years. Today, I picked up his ashes from the vet. It was in a white box, and placed nicely in a royal blue organza box with satin ribbon drawstrings. Even though it's been a few weeks since he's left us, I couldn't help but tear up and cry when I received the little box. It was so light and small, almost like how he had become in the last few months of his life. 

Overwhelmed by Covid, taking care of E, and morning sickness with #2, I feel like I had failed to give Saffron the attention and love that he deserved. The last time I had brought him to the vet was when we lived in New York City, and months even before E was born. This time when I had to bring him to the vet, I couldn't even go in with him for his check up because of Covid protocols, and so I waited in the car with Elizabeth while we had a 'curbside visit', and talked to the vet via phone. They ran bloodwork tests and weighed him, and the results were conclusive: he was weak and had bad kidney disease. In addition to that, Jon and I had observed how the last few months he was failing in his jumps, and walking up the stairs in a really stiff, arthritic manner. 

Even though Jon and I knew it was time to say goodbye, it was still a very sad few days for us till we had to bring Saffron for his final vet visit. We fed him tons of ham and liquid cat treats, gave him lots of pets and snuggles. E of course didn't understand what was going on. 

Saffron passed away peacefully on the 24th July with all 3 of us in the room. I was sobbing my heart out, while Jon was really sad, and E ran around looking for snacks. Then we drove off and went a particular route where Olive Boulevard (a major road) intersected with the I-270 (and interstate highway), and E asked where Saffron was, and we replied that he was gone. And something about where we were at the time when she asked the question and got her reply stuck with her - even now every time we pass that intersection E says, "Saffron is gone" to herself. 

The worst feeling was when we arrived home after picking lunch up that day. The house felt so empty and still, and there was no Saffron to greet us. No longer did we have to zealously close all the outside doors lest he dart out to explore. I no longer had to use cups with lids for the water I kept by my bedside, and food no longer had to be guarded against an opportunist. It's a very bittersweet feeling, knowing that there was no reason to do things and go out of our way because of Saffron. 

Saffron was a very good boy, and the best cat ever. He will be dearly missed.