"Excuse me, can I massage your breasts?"

In the The Sims 3, there is a characteristic that you can choose for your Sims called "neurotic". With the neurotic characteristic, the Sims display a range of wants and actions that range from obsessive compulsive to anxious. You can even get to have an stress/panic attack on cue, which distresses the other Sims around it, but results in an 8 hour period of calmness for the Sim with an elevated mood. I wish I could be a Sim like that, then I could control my stress and have it boil and explode once everyday (or week) and then feel very calm and be in a do-not-give-a-flying-fuck mode, scaring roommates and friends notwithstanding. Instead I am stressed out constantly, all the time, every time now.

I spent New Year's at Rimba Resort on Pulau Sibu with my parents. I finished 4 books, which were all enjoyable, even the chick lit one I brought deliberately. I saw lots of Sea Turds (Sea Cucumbers) when the tide was out. The food was excellent. One of the other guests looked like Uncle Buster from Arrested Development. Yet at night the violent sounds of the waves crashing stressed me out. And the lack of things meant my mind was allowed to wander. In normal people this is a good time for them to relax, instead it starting boiling up into a panic attack for me where I starting feeling stressed about a thousandandonethings.

Today we left Pulau Sibu and went to JB. I had a nice lunch of Ba Ku Teh with my parents. I went to Giant and bought stuff that I wanted to bring back to London. I went for an excellent massage with my mother. I had not felt so relaxed in a long time, though the girl did a little switcharoo halfway, something I found out when she asked me to turn over halfway. Then I started thinking "hmm, isn't this a good way to kill someone, when they're getting a massage?". I probably undid 10 minutes worth of massage with that one thought.

Now I'm back home again, and I can feel my neck and shoulder muscles turning rock solid again.

My new year's resolution? Be less stressed, either medically or mentally. I'm going to die early at the rate I'm going.