I have an annoying habit of mentally composing things in my mind, like for example blog posts. I then have the even more annoying habit of forgetting my thoughts, which results in frustration at my not being able to recall the exact wording. Yesterday was one of those times, where I spent the duration of the car ride from Philadephia's airport back to the house.
In essence the past 12? 13? days have been rather exciting and jam packed. Thus I take the liberty to be really lazy and type in short sharp bursts of words, with the tenses all over the place too.
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Flying at night from Philadelphia to De Gaulle. On demand movies that called out your name and prevented you from sleeping. Blast of cold icy Parisian air from bus to terminal. Flight to Venice. Blast of sticky heat stroke Venetian air. Board ship. Be wowed. Feel tired. Take photos. Run about Venice. Take a gondolier ride. Eat a tiramisu ice cream. Look at masks. Get hit by a flying pigeon. Board ship. Gorge self silly for dinner. Sleep for 12 hours. Wake up for boat drill. Flop about like a fat penguin in a neon orange life vest. Forget the rest of the day. Prepare for formal night. Attend dance/singing show. Eat more dinner again. Meet table mates. Laugh. Take photos. Meet photo shop Sameer. Repeat for 10x more days in various exotic locales.
Discover the Mediterrean is hot as hell. Discover Europeans have not heard of air conditioning before. Discover ties first came from Croatia. Discover not all Greek islands have white houses and blue roofs. Discover a random Asian Art museam on Corfu. Discover Captain Cornelli's Mandolin was filmed on Argostoli. Take a belated interest in Argostoli after complaining about the heat the entire time we were there. Enjoy buying 1.50 euro large bottle of coke from the Argostoli supermarket. Find a racist nigger rapper doll. Find racist doll sings 50 cent's In Da Club. Discover seas so aquamarine blue and clear it looks like a dream. See wind farms from the ship's deck. Feel tired multiple times in between. Sunbathe somewhere in between. Spend too much time lying on belly during subathing. Shower and find out that you're now two-toned. Watch The Big Lebowski. Ride a donkey up to Santorini. See white houses and blue roofs. Swear never to ride donkeys again. Admire little alleys. Decide to come back again, for perhaps a Summer job?
Go to Sicily. Find out why Sicily is such a popular gangster haunt (It's a dump. Looks like Manila.) Find out that Syracuse is too far to drive from Catania. Discover the Aragon family has roots in Catania. Wonder how the ancient royals survived the heat in their multiple petticoats. Visit a fort. Admire how bad Sicilian drivers are. Admire how crappy Sicily is. Learn that Sicily is but a small representation of the whole of Italy. Marvel at how chaotic Naples is. Marvel at how chaotic Rome is. Marvel at how they remind one of Nepal. Suffer through train rides in airless smothering heat. See Versuvius. See old lava. Enjoy cool air rushing past hot skin. Run away from hot, but B.O. smelly shirtless blonde guy. Marvel at how large Pompeii is. Rush about from locale to locale in Pompeii. Debate whether place is a public toilet or kitchen. Rush back to train station. Frantically look for clothes that cover scandalous knees and arms. Get annoyed at legs that are too long because dresses don't cover the knees.
Rewear dress worn on Corfu. Buy a shawl to wrap around shoulders. Wake up early. Listen to car blaring techno music on the way to the train station. Sit on train. Open windows. See Vatican. Kick self upon the realisation that Oxford probably looks like the Vatican. Queue to see St Peters. Sweat like crazy in shawl and dress. Laugh when sleeveless, knee revealing women get chased away. Marvel at St Peters. Feel like praying. Visit Vatican Museum. Walk through halls like a herd of sweat sticky sheep. Get pushed from place to place by the crowd till we reach the Sistine Chapel. Get yelled at to shush by Vatican guards. Get pushed out of Sistine by the crowd. Eat goopy flavourless undercooked pasta for 5 euros in the cafeteria. Gape at how rich the Catholic Church must be. Rush to Spanish steps. Rush to Church of bones, to find it closed. Skip about happily at seeing Via Veneto. Get stared at by local after repeating Via Veneto repeatedly. Rush to Colosseum. Buy a frozen bottle of water for 2 euros. Lap at water to moment it melts in the bottle. Rush to forum. Pretend you know what ruins you're staring at. Wish Tourism Ministry put some effort into providing information on ruins. Rush to Panthenon. Gape at how this isn't the Panthenon you envisioned. Realise Pantheon invision is in Athens, not Rome. Ride a local bus to the train station. Run to train to see it pull away. Mope. Use bathroom after paying 50 cents euro. Take impromptu shower with cold cold tap water. Pat dry. Sit on train ride back home... with slight blasts of air conditioning!
Join tour group. Feel like bits of cows being herded about. Fall asleep on bus. Arrive in Pisa. Climb leaning tower. Get freaked out at height. Feel drunk as you walk sideways. Arrive in Florence. See a dead pigeon on steps of Santa Croce. See dead pigeon's ribs with the organs missing. Wonder if theres pigeon organ trafficking. Get herded into leather workshop. Jump at prices of leather goods. Find out tour guide is mysteriously Austrian, not Italian. Go for lunch. Eat blandest lasagne on earth. Drink too much wine on an empty stomach. Try, and like Italian coffee. Visit Santa Croce. Get annoyed with new tour guide and tune into the other groups' tour guide on the ear pieces given. Give up and walk off. Buy a candle. Pray. Look for Machiavelli's tomb. Find it being renovation. Take a picture anyway. Buy a postcard of his grave, so you can actually see what it looks like. Give up on tour group completely and wander away. Find statue of David. Find Ponte Vecchio. Eat hazelnut and pistachio gelato. Stumble upon Il Duomo. Get blown away by how majestic it looks. Get blown away by the crowd to get in. Vow to come back and visit again. Go back to Santa Croce. Buy a scarf. Board the bus back. Get back. Eat dinner. Take more photos. Talk to Sameer. Sleep away.
Wake up in transit. Feel ship in choppy water. See white caps. Eat formal lunch. Wander about. Read. Pack. Arrive in Barcelona. Watch Captain Cornelli's Mandolin. Feel sad, but not as sad as watching The Duchess. Stay on board ship. Meet Ivan in library. Get list of recommended places to visit in Barcelona. Go for dinner. Take more pictures. Watch performance during farewell dinner. Feel sad. Say good bye to Sameer, Arun and the other people who served us during the cruise. Reminiscence about the magic tricks Arun did during the trip to entertain us. Sleep. Wake up. Pack more. Eat the last Scottish Eggs Benedict. Look for Arun, but not find him. Linger about in cabin. Leave cruise ship. Board taxi. Arrive at Holiday Inn Express. Admire how clean and nice Barcelona looks compared to Italy. Be awed by their subway system. Be awed by La Sagrada Familia. Take train to Barcelona's version of Via Veneto. Buy new SD card because SD card has run out of space. Walk about Barri Gotic and the Cathedral. Look for Museum. Walk about more looking for a non smoking eating place. Have paella, tapas and a San Mig. Enjoy Jamon Iberico ham immensely. Take train back towards La Pau (isn't that such an awesome name? LA PAU!). Get back to hotel. Watch MTV in German. Shower. Sleep.
Wake up. Get mini tour of Barcelona by taxi driver. Arrive at airport. Run into trouble because there's no proof I'm flying out of the USA. Get problem solved. Board plane 2 hours late. Praise God for more On Demand movies. Watch My Life in Ruins. Vow to go to Athens. Sleep. Watch Star Trek. Read and finish The Cellist of Sarajevo. Watch The Simpsons. Watch Mulan. Arrive in Newark late. Wait ages for baggage to come out. Run from baggage claim to customs. Run from customs to the transit counter. Get told plane is still boarding. Run from transit counter to security. Take of shoes. Run from security in sock clad feet clutching dirty converses. Run on travellators. Feel pain. Arrive out of breath at boarding gate to amazed airline workers. Become last to board plane that has a total of 9 rows. Wait on tarmac for 30 minutes. Get into the air. Arrive in Philadelphia after 20 minutes. Watch as baggage is unloaded... to find ours isn't there. Drive back. Eat instant noodles for dinner. Go to WalMart and buy clothes. Go home. Sleep. Rest. Wait for baggage to come the next day.
1 comment:
Haha, amazing and wonderful travelogue.
Only gripe: Parthenon (Temple of Athena the Virgin) is in Athens, Pantheon (Place of Many Gods) is in Rome, OK? *grin*
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