2005 is finally ending! Thank goodness.

This year started out on a promising note, albeit a sad one (Asian Tsunami) but promising nonetheless yet it soon degraded into one of the most terrible years of my life. From looking at worst sides of human nature (NKF, Pakistan's Quake, etc.) to my problems snowballing till near explosion; in short I won't be looking back at 2005 with any fond memories at all. Still, from whatever has happened I'm still here either by the grace of God or for his amusement. C'est la vie.

Goodbye 2005, may I never have such a bad year again!

And maybe the world will come to and end in 2006... (the bible code)

Happy New Year!

Melodie, your Super IQ score is 120

The way you think about things makes you a Concrete Thinker. This means your intelligence is grounded in a clear understanding of what is happening around you. In situations where others are confused, things are crystal clear to you. In addition, you have the unusual combination of strong verbal and numerical skills. You are able to solve equations and then use your verbal skills to explain those solutions to others.

How did we determine that your thinking style is that of a Concrete Thinker? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you a Concrete Thinker. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.

-----

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Go to for the quiz (:

Yay, today I saw Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit with my dad (: It was very nice! The Madagascar Penguins short was pretty funny too!

And I did a quiz on Steph's blog

I took the "What's So Funny?" quiz on gURL.com
		My sense of humor is... Satirical Do you think comedy can serve a higher purpose? Or maybe you just like poking fun at people. Either way, you seem to enjoy satirical humor. Satire is the use of irony and wit to expose the unethical or just plain ridiculous aspects of society. Read more... What is your sense of humor?

Now for math homework/some writing!

edit: I just remembered that I forgot to post the picture I took of a doll's dress I made last night (: (instead of going to sleep)


Rather disturbingly, the doll now looks like an altar boy in his new green dress with white ribbon trimming. To be fair I didn't make the dress for HIM but another doll which wouldn't fit because her head was too huge >.<

Detail 1

Detail 2

5 days till school starts :(

Hahahaha, that WAS me! Aiyo. Bawang! Math is still bad.

Onion onion onion :D Math is bad!

Sigh, blogger just made me lose my game -.-

Anyway, I'm feeling better now and I've started re-doing at my math homework. I can't believe how much there is! At least if I knew that there was a new list I wouldn't have done all the work on the OLD list. Plus I still haven't handed up my lit, I hope the teacher doesn't think i'm dropping it or something and I can't find the two bio essay topics we were supposed to write :(

Well chinese work is still, non-existant. I think we were supposed to write a zhou zi or something so I'll do that because it's one of the few bits I remember and one that I don't mind that much doing.

Happy lots-of-people-dying-last-year-day Boxing Day.

An easy excuse to explain for what happened today and last night would be: “I don’t know.” But I do know, not then I suppose, but I do now. The scary thing is that this wasn’t the first time it has happened – it was the 3rd time and I don’t know when it’ll ever stop. Things that have been niggling away at me, making me sad, are just blown right out of proportion in my mind and I can’t always differentiate what’s rational and irrational till hours or even days later. Even now the little petty things that happen just serve to make me feel more and more depressed. I know I’m going very emo here but I felt I need to explain, if only very partially what happened last night. And it wasn’t because of ‘him’.

Merry Christmas, I think.

and a part of me wanted to finish the sentance, to scream out what had been eating away at me but strangely enough just this once, I didn't dare.

Yay, today was a very fun day (and a very tiring one too). It was fun ice skating again after not skating for 2 years thought it took me a long time to gain confidence enough to skate at anything other than an abysmally slow rate.

I fell down 4 times in total! 3 of the times were very dumb :/ and they happened near the end of the skating session. Once I was about to collide into someone and froze while I was still gliding on the ice and went right for the sides of the rink. I hit the wall and managed to grab on but for some reason when Jeanette and Ian came over to check on me I fell down while holding onto the wall >.<

Later I was skating with Martha when I lost my balance and went careening right for the sides - except there was this big group of guys hanging on to that section of the wall. I tried to change direction and went off course a little bit and ended up slamming into the wall and I held on trying to stand up straight... and then I fell down again while holding onto the wall. The guys were pretty shocked and I think I grabbed one of them while trying to slow down or something >.<>

The last fall was when some kid cut in front of me at the end of the rink with those orange cones (a section was set apart for ice skating classes) and I had to swerve suddenly and fell forwand landing on my knees. I was laughing too as Joel helped me up.

It was very fun overall and I got some exercise after leading a sedentary lifestyle for dunno how long. Going out again tomorrow to watch KING KONG (:

I just saw Angeline's lj entry and reading it made me realise how lucky I was to have my friends (:

Ange: I still remember you screaming and grabbing onto me when a big ass atlas moth flew into 1t, those were the days eh?
Ianthe: You ate my camera!
Stephanie: Remember how we couldn't stop groaning when Ianthe couldn't get 'Fe' and her 'one meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellion dollars!'
Victor: Thanks for always encouraging me when I was down (:
IAN: Actually I have no idea what to say to you >.<>
Suat: Thanks for listening to all my nonsense and those super cheem chem notes
Zhi Wai: Hang in there and don't go beserk again! Think DANIEL
Marina (though she won't read this): Ah I can't imagine you being gone after 2 years of pure unadultered nonsense. Half hist won't be the same anymore.

And if you're not here, I guess it means I don't really know what else to say but thanks for being my friend (:

Oh and before I forget, here's a totally unabashed plug for the new quiz i did with Ianthe today (we were both bored) check out the 'other results' tab for more hilarity when you're done (:

Your wish is my command Madame Stephanie (:

YOU GET ONE WISH OF ANYTHING, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK FOR?
For all corruption in the world to go away. There's corruption of all kinds everywhere in the world, from corruption of values in teenagers to the corruption of greedy politcians who can be bought by bloody capitalistic MNCs who in turn made the rich-poor gap bigger by exploting poor children and women everywhere.

WISH FOR 6 MORE WISHES
1. Equal rights for women all over, in the middle east it's still acceptable to stone women to death for adultry and female circumcision is still widespread.
2. For explotation of young female children to stop, how can one condone a brothel filled with 12 year old (or even younger) girls. They often get infected with STDs from their 'clients' and are left to die all alone and unloved.
3. To be able to do well for my O levels and beyond and get into a good course in a reputable university (:
4. To marry Christian Coulson! (I'm surprised Stephanie didn't wish to marry Ian Rosenberger)
5. To be able to support a nice large family (4 kids up) with my husband next time and to raise them well
6. To have all my problems just vanish into thin air, no more depression, no more worrying (:

WHAT ANIMAL WOULD YOU BE?
Hahahaha, I bet you guys all think it's to be a LAO HU or a monkey but it's not :p It's to be a nice sleek panther. They're so dark mysterious and sinister and they seem to be without conscience (actually all animals are right?).

SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO IN YOUR LIFE
I know this seems really moronic and silly, but I always thought it'd be nice to rescue someone from the brink of death (or some life threathening situation) though I have almost done that once but it doesn't count because even if that girl fell she wouldn't have died. Just got paralysed or broken something (no this isn't Zhi Wai I'm referring to).

ONE SONG YOU COULD LISTEN TO OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Hmmm, it'd have to be Lene Marlin's Unforgivable Sinner. I love that song becuase it sounds so sad yet so beautiful in it's own special way.

COKE OR PEPSI?
Uh. They taste the same for me? Though I wouldn't mind get a nice WoW poster of the Human Sorceress (Coke), I already have the bottle with that picture (:

SOMETHING YOU CURRENTLY DESIRE
To be doing something productive because I've been a real sloth since I've came back from guide camp, but they anti-histamine I'm on now is really hampering my brain speed, as of now I have a feeling I left behind a whole slew of typos all over this entry >.<

ONE GOOD DEED YOU'VE DONE LATELY
Give a heck load of money to the people I've seen either busking or peddling on the street? I really can't remember much but I have a feeling it's not just because I'm drowsy.

A FUNNY MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE
I can't remember this either :( I think it was when I was with Stephanie and Ianthe and we were talking about FARTING in the MGS canteen on Wednesday. That was very fun (:

Five people I pick: I don't really like dragging anyone down but I guess it'll be Victor, Ian and Suat for the pure reason that all 3 don't update very regularly (: and uh, George Bush and Tony Blair for the last 2.

Honestly, world vision is so annyoing. I was looking at their order form, noticed an error and e-mailed them about it. Now it's slightly over ONE week to christmas and they still haven't corrected the mistake. I had organisations, they're like mini-governments but equally ineffective and moronic, just on a smaller scale.

Back from Guide Camp! The whole guides contingent got PWNED by a S peg. Chessa got PWNED by a car :(

Warning: very long post ahead.

Day 1
I reached school around 7:45AM and found a very angry Grace (over the changing of schedules), after dumping my stuff in the Concourse, I left with her and Yihui to drag stuff out of the Guide Den (which STILL smelled of kerosene despite all the airing out we did during the GB campfire) and found lots of nice new stuff :D Mrs Lim used some MOE grant to buy some nice new gadget poles, wires, pegs, mallets and changkoes, basically the lot. We rejoined the guides after taking out all the nice new gadget poles and everyone moved their stuff to the bamboo courtyard.

After placing our stuff down, everyone went to help carry the things from outside the den to the small field outside the Home Ec. rooms, we got to boss around the other guides for a change (: (the non-committee guides) and after the seniors (ie: the ones that left years ago, the youngest of the lot was Caroline, a girl who was Sec 4 when I was Sec 1) demonstrated how to erect a tent, everyone went to erect the other 3 tents. Just my luck that the tent i was assigned to had to be one surrounded on one side with long grass :( I think it was around there that I got bitten by some strange bug. My right ankle started to swell up into a ball and it was itchy like hell >.< It's still a little swollen now, but not itchy as before.

The girls in my group, Rosa Parks (I’m still happy with all the names I gave the groups), were Stephanie, Vicky, Ee Leng, Elishea, Serena and Elizabeth.

After that we did some gadget making, I completely forgot how to do square lashing and Marina had to teach a bunch of us how to tie the lashing again, we mostly slacked a lot and used up almost all of my ‘macho twine’ (my dad’s words, not mine: it was the dark green army sort).

We had some sort of food for lunch, can’t remember what it was exactly, all I remembered was Stephanie kicking up a huge fuss over her food which was repeated again for every meal in the next 3 days, breakfast excluded. My goodness, that girl sure is picky and complains a lot when it comes to her food >.< I ended up finishing my food the last of all the guides.

After lunch we had pioneering training again, just like the last guides camp and to add to the sense of déjà vu, the SAME instructors (the seniors) taught the SAME things. I finished my sawing and axing quite fast and all that work with the changkoe for the Outdoor Cooking Competition paid off when I finished my turfing fast, but I was tired out all the same.

Tired as I was, we all had to attend the COH which was quite um, quiet. Nevertheless I found out to my horror that there was nothing planned for the Craft session the next day (!!!). After the session I had a short discussion with the other planning girls and ended up calling my Grandma to bring coloured paper from home for tomorrow’s mosaic activity.

During COH the other guides also got to bathe and I was all stinky and sticky while the other guides looked so happy and GLOWED in their nice freshly soaped skin (oh dear, I sound like some pervert) and I was left to be miserable and sticky >.< at I least I got to bathe right after dinner, unlike the 2nd night.

Then we had orienteering. The same thing as last year with the SAME time slot. Thank goodness there were 3 other sec 3 guides in my patrol who also took Geog (Steph, Serena and Elizabeth), I was far too tired to concentrate adequately, much less teach the younger ones to do map reading.

After the initial lesson, the seniors gave us a map of the school and an instruction sheet and we had to read the map to find the clues planted at the sites. It was late at night and the school was very dark, plus we were only allowed to bring one torchlight around: worse still, some of the clues were planted on the 4th level! Eeeek. It was pitch dark and the seniors disabled the mains so we couldn’t switch on the lights.

We went to the 3rd level and met Grace’s group (Grace Kelly) in the open space outside the audi when 3 seniors, Tracy, Stacey and Caroline I think, arrived at the scene and proceeded to ask questions. Grace’s group got off because they got such an easy question while we got stuck “What is Guide Law No. 4?” and ended up being tied up to each other at the wrist, or rather I volunteered and got tied to Serena and Ee Leng.

On the 4th level outside the old P6 classrooms, we were gathered in the open space and I was looking around, the place was slightly lit up from a spotlight facing the ground level at the end of the wing and the quintessential ‘Exit’ sign. I looked towards the upper level of the Primary school hall (the area which connects to the 2005 secondary class wings) and to my horror (yes the same word again) I saw the doors swinging mysteriously. I quickly turned around and didn’t say a word, but my mind was racing trying to find a plausible reason which included telling myself to ignore it. However 10 seconds later Ee Leng said “why are those doors swinging?” and I totally lost it and started screaming. Cue everyone else screaming and everyone running down the stairs (about 2m away from where we were). It was so scary :(

After running around the lower levels some more, we gathered up the courage to go to the 4th level again and we found 2 seniors hiding behind the short wall in the primary wing, I think it was this time that Vicky got tied to Ee Leng. We walked towards the passageway where I saw the door moving I was just about to run ahead (or struggle ahead depending on how you see it) and kick the door as hard as I could when we all spotted 2 seniors, Caroline and Shamita hiding behind the wall. Grrrrrr.

Finally after the Orienteering and Supper, the committee had a short meeting about the next day’s murderer game and for some reason, Yolanda had decided to come to camp to spend a night. After everyone left leaving only me, Jamie and Yolanda, she kept on talking cryptically about some grand prank. I grabbed my things and lugged the lot upstairs to the classroom (P2.6, a class that I would not have stepped into in my wildest dreams) where we were sleeping and I went to wash up. For some reason, I couldn’t sleep AT ALL and I didn’t feel tired at all so I joined Yolanda, Jamie and Vanessa in the next classroom.

We played some games and uh, after the prank (I’m not sure how much I should say) I went to sleep, it was around 2AM. Jacinth woke up but we got her to shush up. It was so fun even though I didn’t really participate except to follow them all around.

Day 2
Stephanie woke me up at 6:50. I jumped right out of my sleeping bag and ran around trying to get ready and both of us ended up running down the stairs for devotions and exercise.

After breakfast we had a short rest period and I started to prepare for the craft session and did a small bit of a mosaic for an example, it was quite fun and mindless (:

The craft session went relatively well with me passing comments to every group on how the craft made me feel I was “in Kindergarten” oh well, it was fun playing with the glue (:

When everyone was done we all went to have out lunch which was Nasi Lemak. I think Stephanie threw away 80% of her food >.< I was last to finish again.

When I was finally done, Grace, Yihui, Jacqueline and Me went to the guide den to take out the materials for the night’s campfire and some guides pitched in to help carry the things and there was a dolly outside the guide den which we also used to transport things down to the quadrangle, things got done pretty fast. Then Yihui and I left the rest of the girls to their devices (including some lazy people who used EYE POWER to help us do work -.-) and loaded up a dolly with firewood, punk and sticks for the afternoon’s session out outdoor cooking. Pushing the dolly was a whole adventure in itself because the wheels were screwy and the dolly tended to steer itself towards the right more than anything else. Still it was fun (:

During the session I was going to do the turfing for my patrol but Elishea (also another alumni of the Outdoor Cooking Competition: 1st Company) decided to take over when she saw how small my hole was >.<

I went off to change into track pants so I could sit on the grass and to grab some insect repellent and by the time I came back, Elishea had already started up a nice fire and I went to gather suitable firewood and fanned the flames which come to think of it, is the only thing I’m actually good for, for outdoor cooking. The food came out quite alright, the bell chicken was delicious but the pizza was very bad >.< oh well. I had a stomach ache this morning, a very bad one at that. Stephanie said it was because of the outdoor cooking the previous day, and that it was probably the sweet potato I ate because I was the only one who was willing to eat it. Now that I think of it, I have a sneaky suspicion that the sweet potato wasn’t washed at all.

It was also around this time that my patrol began making geeky jokes, ‘PWNED!’, ‘ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US’ (this is a geek cult flash, ask me if you want the link or something. It’s also used as a cheat for Warcraft III and Starcraft, and ‘THERE IS NO SPOON’, basically the cheats to blizzard games. The other groups must have thought we were über com geeks or something.

COH again and we all told the seniors that we were still hungry after outdoor cooking (this was at 7PM) because the food wasn’t sufficient, hahaha. The committee also stayed behind to discuss the murder case game with the seniors (in terms of our safety) and they just decided to patrol the area.

We had the campfire after COH which was pretty uneventful. My group did a silly skit while I’m sure the other groups didn’t understand and ended with Stephanie saying ‘ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!’ in a mechanical voice, looking back I’m wondering if the skit was done with the sole purpose of messing up the “guard’s” hair, which was my role, and being pushed around. We were supposed to be those red bedecked guards who stand guard outside Buckingham Palace and don’t move despite provocation -.-

Anyway the committee stayed behind to go put out the campfire so we missed the powerpoint :( how sad. Nevermind, I’ll find a way to get my hands on that powerpoint, I heard it was very funny. After we put out the fire, Jaishree and I fetched a pail of water from the toilet and we both went off to our places, waiting for the girls to come. The linkway was quite dark in certain areas so I hid in the darker parts waiting for the girls to come.

Overall it was very fun acting as the butler and I didn’t have to act that much since the butler’s personality and actions were very much similar to my own when I’m in one of my moods. Equipped with an acid tongue I also managed to get the girls to laugh when they asked stupid questions like:

Girl: How big was the house?
Me: I’m a butler, not a property agent.

Girl: You look pretty young to be 61
Me: Well you look pretty young to be a police cadet.

It was fun being mean and not offending anyone at the same time (: another thing I also found amusing was when one group’s girls said I spoke very ‘cheem English’, hahahaha. They should go meet Suat then they’ll know what ‘cheem English’ really is. In the end someone had to translate for the poor girl because I wasn’t going to give my act for her. Yet another group was commenting on the accent I used during the game, they said it sounded mildly British which I found to be very funny because I really didn’t bother with what kind of accent I used at all. Oh well.

In the end, none of the groups solved the case; the answer was really hard and not obvious at all, but one group was a little close to at least 1 part of the answer.

After that we had nice sandwiches for supper which the seniors prepared for us because we said that we were hungry (as in the whole Guides contingent was served) and I went off to shower in super cold water before going to bed.

Day 3
Woke up late today, 30 mins late in fact and ended up dashing down the stairs to the Home Ec. Rooms because I had cook duty. I didn’t even stop to brush my teeth :( and waited for Stephanie to come down (she also overslept) before I went to wash up and keep my sleeping bag.

I went down after I was done to check if they needed my help and found out that Adeline’s patrol and mine had already finished up so I returned upstairs to keep all my things (or rather stuff them) into my bag.

We had breakfast and then had the usual camp duties and cleaned up the areas that we used and I brought my bag down from upstairs. After cleaning some of us were free so we gathered around and talking and I took some pictures and a video of Steph fighting with Maxine, hehehe. When everyone was done cleaning we played games which were quite fun and totally retarded. Oh well (:

Around 11:30AM the tents were dry enough for us to take them down and pack them up. I was taking the pegs from the campsite to the holding area at the bomboo courtyard for Steph, Vicky and Elishea to clean and then turned my attention to other matters when to my dismay Steph appeared to tell me that there were 15 Small (S) pegs, 14 Medium (M) pegs and 12 Large (L) pegs and to make things worse my group was cleaning up the Guide HQ tent and pegs :(

We told the seniors and after everyone spread out and searched the miniscule field like how the Police search when looking for a piece of evidence; that is everyone standing in a line and walking forwards, combing the area. The peg was nowhere to be seen :( In the end Shasmita did something which I shall not state here because some scary HQ people might read this or something >.< still all the pegs are accounted for and everything was folded up nicely.

Mrs Lim ordered Macdonald’s lunch for us all (it fitted into the camp budget, didn’t want to ask questions) and Stephanie, Ianthe and I stayed in school till 2:15PM just talking and eating (:

Speaking of PWNAGE, as I mentioned earlier, Chessa got PWNED by a car :( it was on the first day of camp and she was running late and saw her bus coming so she tried to run across the road, however she didn’t see a car coming from behind the bus (overtaking), the same car which ran her over, for lack of a less crude term.

We were all so worried :( I’ve never seen Jacqueline cry before. Poor girl. But we heard that Chessa was alright, that is still alive, not in ICU and still retaining her memory, however she did forget what happened from the screech of the car tires to the time she woke up in NUH (she was conscious at the time and was able to give the driver some sort of number). So after I returned home I quickly took a bathe and left the house for Buona Vista MRT.

I was on my way to Buona Vista MRT when I heard an American accented voice go: “F**k you!” and I looked up and saw this American teen sticking his head out of a speeding white cab that was driving past the bus stop. He was laughing. I had half a mind to scream after him “Yeah I know you want to!” but instead opted to chuckle to myself. The other lady at the bus stop didn’t seem too amused though.

At the Hospital Jacqueline and me found Chessa in the Children’s Ward of all places and we were soon joined by Vanessa, Jaishree, Yihui (Huang), Grace and Jacinth, the birthday girl (: She’s back on solids and she might be discharged tomorrow from Hospital, hope she gets well soon and um, gets her specs fixed up (they got spoiled in the accident).

Still, it’s kind of scary and weird when you realise what happened and how many more ways things could have gone much more wrong. I guess it’s God’s Will.

I shall be calm, I shall tolerate everything thrown at me by incompentant people today since I was already angry yesterday over two incompetant people and their actions. Morons shall not faze me for today (:

Guide Camp tomorrow. Must not get angry at totally altered schedule and activites. Must not be pissed that all hard work went down the the drain. Must be calm.

Bloody Guide Camp >.<

Yay! Let's play mess up Melodie's day! It's the newest, most enjoyable and least exclusive game in town! Great for christmas gifts! Mess up her day before it's too late!

Ah, since I don't feel like doing an actual post, I shall post the results of some of the quizzes I stole from Ianthe's blog (:

You Should Learn French

C'est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs. You are definitely a Parisian at heart. You just need your tongue to catch up...

What Language Should You Learn?

Your Birth Month is March

You love life and exude an outgoing, cheerful vibe. Blessed with a great sense of humor, you can laugh at adversity. Your soul reflects: Respect, desire, and generosity Your gemstone: Aquamarine Your flower: Daffodil Your colors: White and light blue

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

Hahahahaha. This one is SO wrong >.<

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 9/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

And that's after I just randomly clicked one of the answers :D Too bad GCSE E Math isn't like that >.<

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

Your IQ Is 115

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Above Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

I'm not sure what was so dirty about it and I'm a little confused by Q15 because well, Just because you're not in the Axis Powers doesn't mean you're in the Allies right? Was China even in the Allies?

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a firestorm - full of intensity and drama. Your thoughts may seem scattered to you most of the time... But they often seem strong and passionate to those around you. You are a natural influencer. The thoughts you share are very powerful and persuading.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

You Are Scary

You even scare scary people sometimes!

How Scary Are You?

Hahahaha, I wish. Oh well I'm getting tired. I'm going to eat a PETEY BANANA then i'm off to sleep (:

Hahahaha oh man. I feel so lame. I went to neopets because I was looking for the html code for strikeout when I got the urge to sign up for an account... and I did! Now I'm the proud owner of a green Lupe named indices because that was the topic of the math assignment I just finished >.<

I had the weirdest dream last night: That guide camp was about to start in 1 hour and I hadn't packed for it yet so I was running around my house trying to get EVERYTHING for it (that reminds me, 8. Pack for guide camp: oh and i've lost my list of things to bring >.<) and after a while I woke up. Then I went back to sleep again and had almost the same dream >.<

Aiyo.

Anyway last night as I was talking to Victor he mentioned the saying "Courage is not the absence of fear but the overcoming of one's fear in the face of adversity", well something to that effect anwyay, he ended up forgetting the last bit of the saying.

So I thought for a while what my fear was and realised that it was failing, failing at something that I had tried hard for and I decided that I'll take Chinese seriously now and get a C6. This way when I get older, I'll have no regrets that I didn't try at least and if I do suceed, I can wonderfull give myself the illusion that I CAN get into Oxford and Cambridge (you need at least a C in a language other than English to get into ANY course).

Maybe it's time for me to stop being such a pessimist in my academic studies and try hard for once (:

Things to do:
1. Pg 48 and 53 of E Math TYS
2. Practice algebra by myself
3. Finish all 3 proses AND send them off to Miss Bong ASAP (already 4 days late!)
4. Buy christmas gifts(half the list done!)
5. Write letter to Lauren
6. Finish letters for 35 and 40
7. Read War & Peace

7 things to do for the next 7 days. Must start studying! Gahhhh. I hope my mind is up to it, for the past few weeks i've been lazing about doing hardly any mentally stimulating work (apart from trying to decipher Mein Kampf) and I bet my IQ is now 80 or something >.<

I don't want to do lit :(

In case you were wondering what happened to yesterday's post: I deleted it. Sedition remember? Even if it was in support of Singapore's decision.

I don't what the world is coming to, it's seeming more and more like armegeddon is coming the next second. All this bullshit and nonsense being slung around by the USA, Australia and Japan.

Of the 3 the one I respect the least is USA, but the Japan is the one I hold in the most contempt for their constant refusal to stop those Yazukuni Shrine visits and their foreign minister's comments that China and Korea were being silly in insisting that the shrine visits be stopped, not to mention those anti-china mangas that are flooding the Japanese market now with deflamatory, absurd and plain rude allergations on China.

How can anyone condone a genocide? Mind you, this wasn't the first time a genocide was denied to much in an effort to conceal it. It actually worked for Turkey in 1915 and they covered it up so well that most people, adults even cannot claim to have heard of the genocide. But Japan is trying to do it now, and to add insult to injury, their prime minister goes to a shrine where 14 Class A war criminals's remains are housed. They claim that we have no business in what they do, but was Prince Harry not condemned world wide for being insensitve by wearing a Nazi soldier's uniform at a costume party? At least he had the mind to apologize! I'm not being racist here and saying all Japanese are bad people, one of my good friends is half-japanese in descent, just that something has to be done. What example are they leaders of that country setting for the impressionable youth? Germany has done good for all the evil that happened in WWII, but what about Japan?

Don't let history repeat itself. Ignorance is no excuse for the needless loss of lives.

Singapore itself too shouldn't take the passive stand. Who cares about the majapahits and sirivijaya or whatever bull it was that we learned about sec 1? Students should be learning of things like the genocides, and even the sec 3 textbook has one tiny paragraph on the rape of nanking and a 2 page 'special' on Nazi treatment of jews. Apathy alone kills. You have you make them CARE, give them something to fight for in their lives, not go about dithering that they didn't get A1s for their Add. Math or whatever.

"The only thing nessesary for evil to flourish is for good men to do nothing."--Edmund Burke

Don't let apathy become the way of life for singaporeans. Money, possessions mean nothing. When we die, we can't bring everything with us beyond the grave. Make a difference in the lives of others, do something right for a change besides placidly laughing as the USA attempts to find some lamebrained excuse to invade Iran.

One website worth a look is this though it might leave an unsightly taste in your mouth.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Fanfiction.net is so amusing :D

I was complaining about someone who paired up Tom Riddle (<3) and Harry Potter

Inspired by what transpired yesterday I decided to go look for Hagrid romance fics.

Here are the true gems:
3. Found by Fishified reviews
My name is Remus Lupin, I’m a homosexual werewolf, and this is my story. ::Theme 67::

6. In the name of Love and Bad Fanfics by Steal reviews
Dobby gets raped and turns up at Hagrids doorstep. A beautiful love ensues.. well, not really. It's actually quite scary. Then they get married. Then Dobby nearly dies.. next: Dobby realises that Hagrid is a man.

17. Big Things in Little Places by Araminta Melliflua reviews
A lonely half-giant longs for love...a butterbeer addicted house-elf seeks someone to understand her woes...wrongness ensues. Watch out for scary innuendo.

20. From the Flower by misted-oracle reviews
Neville's accident in the greenhouse leads to much more. Slash: NevilleHagrid

23. Their Eternal Embrace by CaptainBianca reviews
Hagird and Dobby spend an evening together and their fierce bottled emotions are released.

Gosh. Talk about freaks inheriting the earth, nevermind the meek!

On the upside, not Hagrid/Pansy ones yet :D

edit: OH MY GOODNESS!

I was searching for FILCH fics (under romance) and I merrily concluded that there were none because i pressed the wrong button and instead search romance between Snape and Filch -.-

Well, at least there were none.

4. Misunderstood by ohso-oblivious reviews
Harry thinks Filch's just misunderstood. HF. PG13 for language.

9. Umbridge and Filch: A Strange Romance by thehpgang reviews
Filch and Umbridge: a strange yet perfect match. By Dobby. (talk about ALIEN and SPAWN)

11. Secret Affairs of the Janitor by whereiswaldo reviews
The quite disturbing relationship between Hogwarts' Janitor and Percy Weasley. Those with weak constitutions may want to leave the building.

13. To Love a Hooded Snake by Brick Retarded Weatherman reviews
The worst most horrible piece of fanfiction you will ever read. Filch and Voldemort. Slash..obviously. Nothing graphic. Read if you want a few terrible, guilty laughs. One-Shot. Complete. (noooo, not Tom Riddle!)

21. Love Gone to the Cats by The Cleric 007 reviews
A long time ago, in a galaxy not that far away (the Harry Potter world, in fact), Mrs. Norris was a young, beautiful and unhappy wife, and Argus Filch was her handsome, young gardener. Written for the Hogwarts FQF. ONE-SHOT

27. Nocturnal Affair by Kitzaku reviews
[Lee Jordan/Filch] Filch is on his nightly rounds when he runs into Lee.

And here's a most novel one -.-

2. Oxygen by hiddensoullover reviews
[OneShot Prequel to 'If Only'] Pansy and Hermione get trapped in Trelawney's closet on day and discover some of the benefits of the lack of air...AND schoolmates! WARNING: FEMSLASH! ShojoAi!

I give up on the world.

Hahahaha. How fun :D Today my grandparents came back from Ipoh and when my dad called to ask my grandma when they'd reach Singapore (they were taking coach) she said that only she was coming back, not my grandpa (she was playing a prank).

So my dad relayed the message to my maid and she cooked the right amount of food for 7 people (my uncle's maid was here too). When my grandpa stepped out of the car, I was shocked, but not as shocked as my maid when she realised that there wasn't enough food. In the end my grandma ate bee hoon instant mee because she was the one who made everything messed up. How fun (:

Ianthe wants an entry: she shall get an entry! Once upon a time there was a girl named Ianthe. She lived on an island. On the same island lived a boy named Ian. One day Ian and Ianthe met and they got married and had Ian the II and Ianthe II.

Also: do you want to go out with Steph and me on Thursday since you're so bored? We're going to watch HP4 (yay, again).

Ay, poor Steph probably ain't coming online for some time :( Go see her 2nd entry from the links at the sidebar. There goes the number #1 tagger on my tagboard. Salut dear Steph!

Sigh, I'm going nuts at home. I'm still so pissed that I can't install DirectX 9.0c for some reason so I can play The Sims. For some reason when my dad reinstalled everything on the com with the Windows Service Pack 2 bundled up with the XP, it blocked out any attempts to install the dratted DirectX and the one on my system is DirectX9.0b. Okay, for some reason I sounds like a geek now obsessing over some techie thing. Anyway, back to my main problem: I'm going crazt at home!

I've barely started on my homework (only doing a small bit of E Math [surprise surprise!] on Monday because I was THAT bored) and can hardly find the motivation to plow through oodles and oodles of equations (both mathamatical and chemical), facts and information. Sigh.

On the upside, over the weekend my dad brought a pressure gun home so I could clean the backwall of my garden (yeah, that bored too). It was so fun! Anytime I saw a bug jumping on the wall, I'd stop my cleaning and point the gun at it. I think I killed 3 bugs that way. It was super dirty with flecks of old paint, mould, moss and dirt flying all over the place. The gun was so powerful that it even blew off little chunks of the wall too >.<>

Now i'm waiting for my dad to buy paint to I can re-paint the wall (:

I really want to go out next week to do some shopping for christmas and maybe even a movie, anyone up for it? I don't want to spend another week cooped up at home eating mashed potatoes day after day (anyway, I ran out of Italian Salad Dressing). And if anyone has a really good/silly storyline, please tell me! I want to write something but can't find any inspiration at all, and you'll get the credit ;)

Arrrrrgh. My mind feels totally fried. With the guide camp and thinking about for to resolve A (see below post)'s problems and no easy reading in sight I just feel so serious. Who ever knew that Mein Kampf would be like, the most boring book ever written by a madman?

I can only manage 2 pages before my mind zonks out and after that I still have Dostovesky's Crime and Punishment and Tolstoy's War and Peace which is thicker than a grown man's arm. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

And no one reads this blog anyway, I might as well just talk to myself! HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Well, not that loony yet. Unlike NIL NAI.

Man, I need a new idea for a funny story and Jeremy hasn't done anything stupid for a long time for me to make fun of him. Sigh.

Yay, I finally saw HP4: The Goblet of Fire. Now I can't wait for Sunday's HP2: The Chamber of Secrets.

Robert Pattinson is pretty cute, but I still like Christian Coulson more (:

Ay, last night really worried me. A certain someone (let's call her A) was acting strangely after the movie. Everyone was going to Pizza Hut @ Centerpoint and we were about to cross the road when she suddenly muttered something about having to meeting someone and slipped away after my offer to accompany her as refused.

Naturally I was suspicious and to my dismay I noticed that everyone else had cross the road and had gone on ahead (It was a big group). I decided to tail her.

It wasn't pretty hard though there were many times I was almost spotted and when I almost lost her in the crowd. Thank goodness I'm so skinny and I'm female, or else I would have been spotted or I would have been arrested/stopped by some police officer/security guard on the premise of being a terrorist/thief.

After follwing her all the way to paragon and heeren, I lost her at HMV because I didn't dare go inside the store, lest I get spotted so I stood outside when she disappeared behind a pillar for a suspiciously long time when I decided to go inside and investigate and she had really disappeared! Ay.

So I gave up and went off to centerpoint. Well, nothing about a girl trying to kill herself in the papers right? Still, it was really very freaky and quite an expierence.

Nevermind, I have Christian to keep me sane (:

And this is what it all degenerates to: from a madman to a madman.

In case you're wondering what I mean, I just started reading Mien Kampf by Adolf Hitler. The first few pages alone are enough to bring home the message: he's a madman.

Not for his views mind you, but his style of writing. It's so mind bogglingly bad (even through it's been transalated from german to english) that I have to read one paragraph over and over till I can understand it. I've barely gone past the 12th page and my mind is going nuts over his stlye of prose. Not to mention the fact that he subtly slips in his bits of political nonsense in between the already confusing lines.

Example: 'It was at this time that the first ideals* took shape in my breast. All my playing about in the open, the long walk to school, and particularly my association with 'husky' boys**, which sometimes caused my mother bitter anguish, made me the very opposite of a stay-at-home***.'

In * it mentions his 'ideals'. However the paragraph before has nothing to do with Hitler himself, instead it is writing about his father like a narrator. The sudden change of styles is most unusual, uncalled for and simply a case of a bad writer. The paragraph also does not mention what his 'ideals' are (though i'm sure we all know what HE thinks of jews). The vague reference to 'time' also does not help as the year, the date was not given and the paragraph before instead harped on a 56 year old civil sevrant buying a farm (his dad).

** is phrased in such a way that I don't understand the connection at all and the kicker is when 'husky' boys comes in. Does it refer to hairy (siberian husky dogs) boys, hungarian (though they're called 'hunky' boys or some other thing that goes up there with Nazi moon bases in 1942? (see below posts)

*** what the hell is a 'opposite of a stay-at-home'? stay at home what? stay at home education (home schooling), stay at home father/mother, stay at home monkey, stay at home what? And what's the opposite of a stay at home (example:) mother? A stay at home father? Huh?!?!?!

And that's just the beginning man. Mein Kampf on Mel's part for trying to read Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler -.-

At least the 2nd madman is a little less tedious to read about and understand, not to mention the fact that he's played by 2 totally gorgeous men, Ralph Fiennes and Christian Coulson (: ahhhh. Can't wait to watch the HP movie!

And by the way, Mein Kampf means My Struggle in german.

Ah, my old bones ache.

Well, 15 year old bones that is. Today the GB had their campfire and Jamie, Grace, Yihui (Huang), Vanessa (Tan), Jacqueline (kaijuuthealmighty -.-) and me went to help them out (:

It was quite disasterous on hindsight, but it was our first time doing a campfire (I can't imagine having to do it three more times!) so I guess it went pretty alright for a bunch of girls who had close to zero expierence with campfires (though Jacqueline and me had our outdoor cooking training).

The fire started to go out about 25 minutes before the actual ending of the campfire and we all started to panic, employing different devices like soaking the firewood in kerosene before adding it to the fire, but this quickly gave way to me just throwing liquid kerosene on the fire just to keep it alive.

And the weird part was when the campfire was over, we couldn't put out the flames! *()#$)($ stupid fire.

My hands still smell like kerosene. Yuk.

Do you guys get pop up spam when you visit my blog? After my dad re-did the whole com, everytime I visit my blog I always get these annoying pop ups (those they're mostly blocked).

Tell me if you do get them, pop ups that is.

GRRRRR. I hate using e-mait, especially when I have to send it to people with strange/weird spelling e-mails like Jacqueline's one -.-

First I typed her e-mail as kajuuthealmighty@yahoo.com.sg

It didn't send, naturally.

Then I realised the e-mail I sent out had no attachment, which was the main purpose of me sending the e-mail in the first place!

So I had to retype everyone's e-mail again (because for some reason the MSN group I created didn't turn up under 'Groups') and this time I remembered to attach the stupid document, but this time I typed kaijuuthealmighty@hotmail.com. Then the stupid postmaster nonsense sent yet another e-mail telling me the e-mail was invaild. This time I gave up and just forwarded the whole thing, postmaster nonsense and all to her proper e-mail (which got through).

Having enough of that nonsense, I decided to create a Group inside Hotmail inself to save myself any grief next time around. My contacts had been accumulating and stagnating for dunno how long and I got momentarily distracted trying to delete some THING's e-mail (which wouldn't delete, kept on getting a pop-up that said there was an error).

Finally giving up deleting the e-mail, I decided to move on and create a group, unfortunately it suddenly decided to recognize Guides Planning Committe and after getting yet another retarded pop up saying there was an error, I changed the name to Guides Camp Planning Committee (or something like that) and then I saw this page -.-

In case you can't see, the first line under the MSN logo reads: Page not found.

The words in red go: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRx100

You get the idea.

Now I have NO e-mail group, still have that THING's e-mail and I'm (a little? hahaha, right.) miffed. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid *$#()$*)(@*

Happy Birthday Ange & Steph!

Congratulations for surviving:
- One year of GK and ROng
- Numerous illness in the past 15 years
- One lame/perverted 'Ding Dong Song'
- One year of chensie and soo (vomit blood)
- You-know-what dustbin investigations
- Canteen food for 9 years
- A horrific (but still fun) PW last year
- And 2 years of a retarded and fantastic friendship with Ianthe and me!

Happy Birthday 2005!

sometimes i feel like the lonliest person on earth, a victim of my own standards and the unholy trinity.

and they wondered what happened to me on the last day of school.

Ah fine, since I got 'tagged' by Stephanie:

"Rules of the game: Post 5 Weird and Random facts about yourself, then at the end list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "You are tagged" in their blog and tell them to read yours."

And I shall be defiant and not 'tag' anyone, hah!

1. I get super annoyed at the way Singaporeans speak mandarin, as if they 'wanna die lieddat', without soul, without inflection and without effort. I am not be a hypocrite here because even though my own mandarin vocabulary is very sparse, I speak it with feeling and expression (interpret that yourself) which is probably the only reason I passed by Chinese Oral by 1 mark.

2. I like the thought of 'broken' people, or females to be more specific. Examples are: Tess Durbeyfield (of Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy), Maiev Shadowsong of Warcraft III: Frozen Throne, O Ren Ishii of Kill Bill, The Bride aka Beatrix Kiddo of Kill Bill. I also like the idea of assassins.

3. I like smooth, jazzy or piano tunes. Either that or sad music.

4. I've been keeping a personal diary since I was 11, started on the 2nd of December Sunday 2001. The first entry has a line that goes:

I HATE Osama (picture of a dustbin) Laden, oh screw him! He ruined my trip to America!

My diary has also travelled to Vancouver and Malaysia (the 2nd one) with me on my trips. I am now looking for one to replace the 2nd one, which is rapidly running out of pages.

5. When I am bored and have nothing to do online, I look for Sims 2 downloads.

And that's that.

This post may be offensive to believers of Nazi Mysticism. If you are easily offended please leave now. The owner of the blog shall bear no responsibility for any rage, insanity that may occur.

-----

Wow. Two warnings in two blog posts.

This one is a little uncalled for since I doubt anyone who believes in Nazi Mysticism would ever come to this blog, but hey, one never knows.

I was surfing about wiki (very useful for bored people) when I chanced upon this page.

The first few lines of the article instantly had me chuckling away. Pigs do fly eh?

Other related modern theories involve Hitler having escaped to the Antarctic, where he joined with a subterranean dinosauroid master race, with whom he now travels inside UFOs underground, generally beneath the South Pole or throughout the center of the hollow earth, but sometimes to a Nazi moon base as well.

It has been speculated by many esoteric Hitlerists and conspiracy theorists that study Nazi mysticism and the events that unfolded in Worl War II that the Germans landed on the moon as early as 1942.

In case you were wondering what I was doing at such a page, I was looking at an article of Esotericism.

Other artices worth a look are:
List of Books that have been banned across the years in various areas and List of worst movies ever (self explanatory)

Funnily enough, Channel 5 seems to posses alot of 'worst movies ever' in their stable of movies.

Another one worth a look is the IMDB's 100 worst list, not as entertaining with the plots located through links, though some of the titles are no less funny.

Have fun (:

This article is not meant to be offensive, please read it with an open mind. If you are offended easily please skip this post.

-----

I was looking at IMDB's National Lampoon's Van Wilder: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0283111/ if you're too lazy to do a websearch.

Anyway out of curosity (since it's assumed Vanessa Heng/Wilder had watched this show) I went to look at the ratings (it was M18 in Singapore) and to my amusement Malaysia:Banned was proclaimed merrily amongst the relatively low age ratings.

I clicked on the link and to my immense amusement, Ally McBeal was the first thing I saw on the 'banned' list.

See it here: http://www.imdb.com/List?certificates=Malaysia:(Banned)&&heading=14;Malaysia:(Banned)

Nestled among the downright 'evil' (or rather, understandable) South Park and Zoolander (one of the characters in the movie insulted Malaysia) lay innocent looking titles like Barney, Babe: In the City (I hope it's not because the majority of the population is muslim, or is it it's banned to watch movies of forbidden animals?)(note, I wasn't being sarcastic).

Even Friends, Bruce Almighty, Shrek and Spiderman is banned!

The biggest irony is, get this, walk into Holiday Inn in Johor Bahru and you get find all these titles for RM8 along with other more hardcore banned things like Sin City and Kill Bill.

There is no moral to this story. Except maybe the only ones who win in the end are pirates.

Saw flightplan on Thursday with Jacinth, Grace and Mansheel (:

Left school a little later than planned because I had to see Miss Bong to change my CME mark (She gave me a 'D' because she thought I didn't hand in my project, everyone kept on saying that: "Melodie has no morals!") and she kept talking to everyone she met and kept on slipping between the doors of the staff room. Aaaah. Typical type I: very socialble!

We ended up taking a cab to Orchard Cineleisure and caught the 2:55PM show. Mansheel, Grace and Jacinth ordered food from the cafe which they sent into the cinema for them. It was very amusing watching them stuggle to eat with utensils.

The movie was quite nice, though I find certain parts a little implausible: like how there's a difference in some being pushed off, thrown off, jumping off and falling off a building. Something about a force being exerted on an object, like the Sindee Neo death. Oh well, non-physics students aren't meant to understand physics.

School has finally ended (: but I still have to go back tomorrow and some other days for remdials. Oh well. At least I don't have to wake up super early at 545 anymore (:

Ahh, what strange day yesterday was.

After finding out there was no chapel, all of us from 3B3 changed into our black class t-shirts to get ready for floorball. Ughhh.

First match was against 3B2, they were very nice and kept on apologizing during the game for no reason o.O they won, naturally.

The second match was against 3A3. Ow ow ow! They were so rough and freaky man, hitting the ball here there, everywhere and one girl unintentionally bashed her stick against my knee in an effort to hit the stupid hole-y ball.

What really took the cake was when the same girl (I think) whacked the ball so agressively that the ball flew up and smacked me right in the lips. Owwwww! My lips started to swell really big and became numb but I continued to play for the last 30 secs (they won, naturally).

I ended up having to go around with a bag of ice on my lips and sat out the last match (not because I was 'injured' though) it was the most inane and absurd expierence of my life with girls staring at me with my friends making fun of how 'sexy' my lips were. Ha ha ha.

Oh well, they're alright today though there's a little wound where the stupid ball impacted. 3A3 was so guilty that they apologized, though I can't imagine why they even felt guilty in the first place. It was an accident, was it not?

I also finally found out my SS+Hist mark: 60%, quite good considering it was the singularly least studied subject on my part, so that raises my overall percentage a wee bit, though I have a sneaky feeling my MSG (mean subject grade) is still a dismal, oil slick over the water-esque, C6.

Today we had christmas service and I volunteered to help collect the white gifts (money) for Faith and I walked around class after putting my donation inside. Wa lao eh! I was so disappointed when some just threw a bunch of coins in. I collected like, $20 of notes and around the area of $7 in coins.

Considering that I myself gave more than $2, and my class numbering at 30, that's pitifully little. Oh well, it's the thought (or lack of it) that counts, right? Right?

Then we had to rush off after the service to change into our outfits for the etiquette class, the theory was so excruciating because there was no food and my tummy was rumbling away. Ahhhh.

Everyone was happy when the food finally came (:

The view from the 33rd level of the OCBC building was really nice, though why one would want a building with such panoramic possibilites, but facing nothing but a bunch of capitalist (and one in the midst of being constructed) buildings obsecuring the view of Marina Bay, is far beyond my scope of reasoning. Adults are weird.

Oh yeah, I finished the HP6: The Half-Blood Prince finally! Took me 6 hours-ish to finish it :D But my thoughtful and kind friends enlightened me so much in the topics, twists and teasers of the novel that there was absolutely no surprise, suspense and scrutinising of the clues on my part. Pfffft. Morons and their spoilers.

Ah, I still need to find someone with the HP4: The Goblet of Fire that'll remember to bring the book to school and lend it to me :( Can't really complain since that's one thing that I've been guilty of far too many times, thought admittedly I'm often too lazy to walk upstairs to retrieve the book or simply do not want to lend it to the intended borrower.

I hope my friends (the ones I asked anyway) aren't doing the latter.

Have a nice rainy day!

What can I say that has not been already said?

I wish I tried harder, pressured them into accepting my help. But no, I didn't.

I wish I took heed of Stephanie's words, didn't dismiss it as quickly as I did. But no, I didn't

I wish I had followed her off when I saw her slipping away from the crowd. But no, I didn't.

I wish I had searched harder, gone out into the rain instead of shouting from the shelter. But no, I didn't.

I could have done so many things, but instead I chose the be complacent and ignorant. It's all my fault.

And when I looked at the informal class picture, my heart broke. There she was, right next to me smiling away. If only she knew what would happen in just a few months time.

Thank God she's safe now.

I never knew exactly how big MGS was until I ran around for one and a half hours, how many dark hiding places, how many possible high points. I feel so emotionally drained and depressed for all the events that happened these past few days.

I can't imagine a Sec 4 year without those 4, why did't I help them? Why didn't they accept my help? And to top things off, the scholar in my class might lose her scholarship and be forced to return to Malaysia.

It's not fair. It's not fair! I should be happy that I'm not one of them, not even an advancee, but how can I be happy knowing that they won't be there to brighten up my day in Sec 4?

Just ignore me, I know I sound very emo now but I really want to let everything that's been bothering me for the past few days out.

I shouldn've, I could've.

Waaaaah :'(

Today I got back my Geog, Lit, E Math and Chem papers. I really scrapped through Chem with a on-the-dot 50%, E Math was a wonderful 52.5% (hallelujah for the acceleration question! ineptituide is very good!). I was quite happy since I expected to fail both.

The real disappointment was Geog and Lit. I got 33/40 for my MCQ section which really pulled my marks up since I got 55.9% in the end, if only I read that stupid 9 mark vegetation question properly!

After going back to class in a depressed mood, I was further depressed when Jacinth told me my Lit marks, 50.7%. I really wrote and wrote all my thoughts out till I was mentally and physically exhausted for my Lit paper, but alas, for naught. Apparently quite a few girls failed, the passage based question was the killer.

This means so far my percentage is 52.3% I really can't afford to fail anything, save chinese which hopefully my English and SS+Hist marks can salvage, that is unless I failed SS+Hist. Bio was really bad too from what I heard from the A band classes, if so many of them failed what hope do I have? I hope I can pass, even 50% is good enough for me. Ay.

Fat load of good etiquette will be if you're flunking out. Pffft.