2021 in Retrospect

I was texting my Mum earlier this night when she mentioned that this last year was an pretty uneventful and boring one for her, apart from my Yeh Yeh getting severely injured and semi-paralysed in an accident. Unlike her 2021 however, mine has had quite a few significant events/milestones. Off the top of my head, these are:-

1. Getting pregnant for the 2nd time, and dealing with the terrible 1st trimester and not-very-good first half of a 3rd trimester (currently 36 weeks pregnant)

2. E attending school for the first time

3. E becoming verbal and becoming a veritable chatterbox

4. Saffron passing away

5. Learning how to crochet (currently working on my 2nd blanket project right now)

Overall it has felt like a year of many changes. A friend moved away to Texas, and I lost touch with another one after she had her 2nd kid - and these were people that played a significant part of my day-to-day life for almost a year. I also re-did the garden in the back area of our house, where the bush honeysuckle used to grow wild, plus did other gardening projects around our property, like the area under the stop sign. Jon and I also planted 2 more trees, a redbud and a serviceberry, bring the total number of trees on our property to 14 (I think, at least this is the number I recall when I last counted).

As the year closes, I am thankful that my pregnancy has been able to progress thus far, and that we have my in-laws visiting with us. They flew in late on the 21st Dec, and have been an immense help. Covid-19 has meant that we haven't physically been able to be with any family for almost 2 years, which was tough especially when I was very sick in the first trimester. Watching E being able to interact with one set of her grandparents makes me very happy. At the same time, it's also very reassuring to have them around to watch E when I need to deliver kiddo #2. Although I am currently in pain and discomfort every day lately, I am generally pretty happy and appreciative of my current lot in life. I am however, feeling apprehensive at what challenges 2022 will bring, especially with how Covid-19 might still hang like a spectre over daily life.

Tornadoes in December

About a week and a half ago on the 10th Dec, the tornado sirens went off just as Jon, E and I clambered out of the shower/bathroom. We had been lounging around after dinner, somewhat aware that there was bad weather coming (I had even told Jon to try and get home early), but didn't spring into action until we suddenly heard the sound of thunder in the distance and rushed to bathe. I had E with me in the shower as usual, and Jon did some half-shower thing in the bathtub. 

Just as we were getting changed, the sirens went off. It was a good coincidence I had heard the emergency sirens earlier in the week on Monday, when they were doing their monthly testing, so the sound and associated was fresh in my mind. Needless to say however, when the sirens went off, mild panic and cursing ensued. E's footie pyjamas somehow became some Escher-esque creation, and I was yelling for Jon to go find our phones and see what the emergency alert said. We ended up gathering a few things, heading to the lower level, and seeing what the local news said, prepped to run into the basement if necessary. 

While E whined for us to play Blippi, we watched KMOV to track where the tornadoes were going. Around 8:50pm, another siren went off. By 9:20pm however, the coast seemed clear enough. The tornadoes were heading across the river into IL (where it would later take out an Amazon warehouse and kill the workers there ): ), and we were tired. We went to bed, and right around 10pm, a third siren went off. Jon started grumbling, and I grabbed E (who was still in her sleep sack), and brought her downstairs to the basement. Jon came down shortly after, and as I watched KMOV on my phone, he played chess on his phone while E made a 'bridge' out of some plastic toy tiles we had in the basement. By that time, news of the warehouse collapse had hit the news. In a really bleak coincidence just as I was watching the news, the Amazon app on my phone sent me alerts that a book I ordered for E a few days ago had just been dispatched from the Amazon warehouse, yikes. 

Finally around 10:35pm, the coast seemed clear again and we all left the basement to go to sleep. My anxious heart wouldn't let me settle down to sleep until at least an hour later, and I still kept checking the news. It was an interesting night, and not something I'd like to experience again any time soon, even though we were lucky that nothing happened to us, our property, or our friends.

Christmas Baking

Last year I made a whole bunch of Peanut Butter Blossom cookies for my neighbours, friends + Jon's work - and I also learned what a bloody hassle they are to make because they require several steps and still contain a 15% failure rate of the Hershey's kisses not sticking. This year I decided to make an easier combination of Chocolate Chip and Walnut cookies, Double Chocolate Mint Chip cookies, and Blueberry Corn muffins for my neighbours. For those with younger kids, I gave the more regular Chocolate Chip cookies, for the neighbours with older kids/just adults, I gave the Double Chocolate Mint Chip cookies, and for the older folk/more health conscious lot, I gave the muffins. In total over the last 7 days I baked for 3 rounds, and did 2 rounds of distribution. While less efficient than last year, I think this route proved to be a lot less stressful, especially today when I could just drop off the last round of cookies without a toddler in tow. 

Anyway for this season I baked at least: 

• 102 Chocolate Chip Cookies
• 22 Blueberry Corn Muffins
• 72 Double Chocolate Chip Cookies

I thought I'd be done baking after accounting for all my neighbours, but some of the staff at Jon's work gave him a small baby shower gift for #2. Hence, I'll be baking yet another round tomorrow of Double Chocolate Chip cookies, since I definitely overbought Andes mint chips. 

Another Friday

Today I am 32 weeks pregnant. For the past few weeks I've been back to cross-stitching again, and making the requisite multiple visits to Michaels. So far I've gone to the one in Des Peres multiple times, the one in Chesterfield Valley twice, and today once to the one in Brentwood. The Brentwood one used to be the one I'd go to when we first moved to St Louis, because it was the closest one to our apartment, but today I was struck by how awful it was compared to the others. The down escalator wasn't working (which seemed to be more than half the time I patronised that branch), and the shelves were pretty empty. I couldn't get everything that I wanted to get, so I foresee yet another Michaels visit occurring soon, unless the 2 purple threads I bought today are sufficient to fill up the pattern of a Christmas tree ornament that I'm making. 

The down escalator being out of action proved very problematic for me today, because I had to handle E on that (and the up one too), while holding a shopping basket. At one point E was climbing me like a monkey (because she was scared), and I had to grab her with one hand while holding on the shopping basket with the other, as I prayed for us to not topple off the moving upwards escalator. At least on the trip down the broken down escalator, a nice woman passing by helped me carry my shopping basket to the bottom. While there was a lift, E didn't want to get into it, sigh. 

Anyway we only went to that Michaels because we were in the area, and I thought I could make a quick trip to Nordstrom Rack to see if they had any toddler shoes for sale. We had driven Eastwards from home (as opposed to South or West, which seems to be our usual direction now) because today E was finally given a slot for her flu shot, and her doctor is located in the Ladue/Clayton border. So after that quick visit (where E didn't cry! I was impressed), I drove to Brentwood. Nordstrom Rack also turned out to be a bit of a bust. While I did manage to get a pair of shoes for E that she really wanted, they are more like Toms than sneakers. We tried on another pair of size 7 toddler sneakers there, but they were too big and E was vehement that she "(didn't) want it" and "it's for other kids". I guess she's in between size 6 and size 7 now, which is a huge pain in the bum because thick socks then make her other shoes feel too tight, and then she doesn't want to wear them. 

After Michaels and Nordstrom Rack, we headed to the Mid-County branch of the library. This was the first library in the area that we visited, again when we lived in the area. The last time I brought E there, she was still crawling and it was before Covid-19. This library is constructed with a basement carpark, and I guess it was the first time E has really been in a basement carpark, because she was scared. This kind of blows my mind a little because growing up in SG, more than half of carparks are dark indoor/basementy things. It's the same thing with escalators and lifts for E - growing up thus far in St Louis, she is utterly unused to them (though at least these 2 I've been more aware of). We spent close to an hour in the library, with maybe 5 minutes of me being able to browse the adult section, about 10 minutes of us making paper snowflakes in the lobby at the craft table, and the rest in the kid's section where she played with the light table that had resin blocks with things like fish and leaves floating in them, the computers with kiddy programs, and a Little Tykes Farm Stand toy thingamajig. When she started throwing the soft blocks around 12:45pm, that was our cue to leave. Plus I was getting hungry.

Lunch was at Mod Pizza, across the road from E's doctor. For the first time, I ordered a pizza just for E. It was basically a plain cheese pizza with copious amounts of pineapple on it. The guy making the pizza was very charmed by E. She ended up eating mainly just the toppings (as in, plus cheese), but towards the end just picked off all the pineapple. In retrospect I wonder if I should have ordered everything she likes on a pizza, which would have been pineapple, olives, and mushrooms. Now that sounds like an awful combo to me, but those are her favourite things. Maybe ask them to add pickles on it too. We ate there because it wasn't too busy, which was nice, as I can't quite recall the last time the two of us ate out alone. It reminded me a little of how I used to always have lunch with my Mum on Saturdays, though that was when I was a lot older. 

Driving home, the idea of ice cream suddenly popped into my head, so we made a detour to McDonald's. I went through the drive-thru and got a vanilla cone for us to share, and it came to $1.60+ with tax, which made me think of how it used to cost 50 cents as a special when I was in Pri/Sec school. I parked the car in the lot there, and E and I shared the ice cream. It felt like a very nice moment with just the two of us, something of course that will become very rare when number #2 comes along. 

I am simultaneously looking forward to the birth of number #2, seeing how E will be with a companion, and who number #2 will develop into becoming. At the same time however, I am apprehensive at how I'll handle 2 kids, and feeling a little sad that it will no longer just be E and I on our jaunts around St Louis. Still, come late Dec, our lives will be thrown into upheaval anyway when my in-laws come to visit for Christmas and to help out with the birth of #2. In early Feb just before they leave, my Mum will fly up from SG to help out too. I am glad to see all of them, as we haven't seen either side since late 2019, but again there's that twinge of feeling nostalgic when things were just E and I together. 

E Speak

Words she has invented recently (about a month ago): 1) Spigus 2) Gavelle 

Also E speak: Come Together by the Beatles is also called "the people song", because I showed her a music video of Come Together, with stylized animated Beatles. 

And today over breakfast E suddenly started talking about Halloween. She said, "I was Abby and Mummy was a pumpkin". Jon didn't dress up this year, so I decided to ask her what Daddy was, and she immediately replied, "a jacket". I burst out laughing, and then she continued, "Daddy was a sweater."

Come Together

E has a new favourite song - Come Together by the Beatles. Another song she likes, but not as much as Come Together, is Take Me Home Tonight by Eddie Money. Again, both songs are courtesy of 103.3 FM. This comes as a slight relief, as the other day That's All by Genesis came on when I was driving by myself, and I had to change the radio station. And I actually like That's All, I'm just sick of listening to it. 

Today I'm 28 weeks and 6 days pregnant. I went to Walmart earlier with E, namely to return some winter jackets to the store, but of course ended up walking around. At the end of that, I felt (and still feel) utterly exhausted. I've been napping almost every day too. The main perk at least of having a toddler and being pregnant is that I can sometimes get her to clean up after herself (usually about a 70% rate), and I can ask her to pick things up from the floor for me, because I can't breathe and bend down at the same time anymore (though this is not new, it's been at least a month since I noticed this).

In other news, although Jon and I decided to hire someone to do the leaf cleanup this year, I thought I could save money on the first round of leaf pick up by the city by cleaning up some of the leaves myself. This was because at the beginning of the week, only our side yard had leaves all over, and leaf pick up is next week. So I spent yesterday blowing leaves with the leaf blower for an hour while E napped. Today however, all the leaves are on the ground again. It's almost as if I didn't even do anything yesterday. D'oh. I'm not going to bother for now though, far too tired to do anything about it. Plus the laundry I didn't do yesterday needs to be done today. 

New Favourite Song

E's new favourite song is That's All by Genesis. She also calls it 'That Song'. Either way, about a week ago when I was driving around with her, it came on the radio and she started chiming along whenever the chorus got to 'That's All', which I thought was very cute and funny. 

I just realised that I didn't write anything the whole of October. Jon was off for a week, but still ended up doing a lot of work from home. During his down time we were able to go apple picking/pumpkin picking at Braeutigam Orchards, visit Boo at the Zoo and go to Pumpkinland at Theis Farm with some friends. In October we also had another playdate with a colleague of Jon's, went to Suson Park to see the farm animals again, and took family photos at Forest Park. And of course just a few days ago, we celebrated Halloween with the rest of our neighbourhood. This was the table I set up for our trick-or-treaters:

E was dressed as Abby, and I had an orange maternity t-shirt with a pumpkin face on the belly area. At the end of the night, I was so exhausted and felt so sore from all the walking. The soreness persisted throughout yesterday as well. 

On a separate note, I'm currently 27 weeks and 4 days pregnant. The general pregnancy fatigue from being large, and bad quality of sleep is starting to kick in now. At least I got to enjoy my 2nd trimester (meaning, I didn't really notice how being pregnant affected my daily life/functioning). I'm currently on the hunt for a cheap winter jacket, because I can't zip up any of my existing jackets, and the weather here suddenly became very chilly.

Man Plans and God Laughs

Yesterday I wrote about the things I had done and scheduled for the rest of the week. Well, as I write this now less than 24 hours, part of that plan for today has been all shot to hell. I was ushering E into the car when I tried to open the garage door and it suddenly gave a very loud KLUNK as it got stuck sideways. After some swearing (E has now learned the F-word), I determined that the cable on one of the sides of the garage door had completely rusted through, and that I need a garage door technician to come fix it. 

Anyway I managed to get hold of someone who came immediately, and he is currently working in the garage as I type this, so maybe our schedule today hasn't been entirely shot to hell. Which is a bit of a relief because I haven't seen Ilse in about 2 months, and seeing as she is heavily pregnant now, might not be able to see her for a while afterwards.

As an aside, I'm pretty relieved that E didn't put up too much of a fuss at the change in plans. I had told her yesterday that we were going to the gym today, and as I was getting her out of the house earlier had mentioned the gym. She seems to have understood that something was wrong with the garage door, and the little angry walk we took after seems to have placated her (and me, as we ran into some close neighbours and were able to vent).

Household Manager 101

This week has been (and will be) a little unusual, with some deviations from our usual routine. A fire truck will be visiting her school on Friday morning, on a day that E usually doesn't attend school, and I wanted to bring her/see the fire truck for myself. This means changing her usual Friday morning gym class to another day. Anyway, as I was trying to figure out how to juggle the fixed appointments with household errands like grocery shopping, it suddenly occurred to me that I'm almost like E's personal assistant. Throw in the fact that I also need to figure out schedules of things like when to grocery shop (how to best straddle the availability of time with freshness and availability of certain foodstuffs at home), it dawned on me that I was managing the whole household. Now, I don't know why this felt like a sudden revelation, because Jon always thanks for me organizing the household and getting things all lined up nicely, but it felt like one. It also makes me wonder how the hell working mothers to do, because I already feel like things are super jumbled up in my mind unless I write them down (which is getting stupidly difficult to do because we had to hide all the writing implements, paper, and post-its from a rampaging toddler).

Monday - 27 Sept

Dropped E off at school, and came home and napped for a short while. After I picked her up from school, we went to the library because I wanted to borrow baby name books for #2. Although Jon and I have already discussed names and settled on a default, I want to make sure I'm not missing any other good options. Anyway at the library, E had a blast playing with the magna tiles, the insects in resin blocks, and the computers. Then we headed home after I pried her off the computers, and we had random chicken nuggets for lunch. 

While E napped, I cleaned up her play area. I swapped out some of her toys for 'fresh' ones, and did the same for her bookshelf. Then I tossed all the dead houseplants around the house (of which there were many!) When she woke up from her nap, we had a small snack before going for a walk around the neighbourhood, since we were going to have leftovers and I didn't need to cook. We ended up running into quite a few neighbours, and spent an inordinate amount of time standing in the yard of one of our neighbours that had already put their spider Halloween decorations up, because E liked the spiders a lot. 

Before Jon came home, I called my Mum for a short while to say Hi. Then Jon came back and we ate. Not much else interesting happened after that. After E went to bed I read upstairs.

Tuesday - 28 Sept

Dropped E off at school, and came home to do translation of some Chinese books that I had purchased for E. I continued to pick up around the house, and then the cleaners came. After a while (half chased out by cleaning bleach fumes, half from not wanting to be in their way), I went outside and started trimming the boxwood shrubs outside the house. While halfway doing that, I got a call from the plumbers that someone was on the way. I continued working until he got there, which was at least an hour of work outside. By the end, I was having trouble gripping anything/doing the pincer movement with my left hand. Anyway, when the plumber arrived, I took it as a cue for me to stop. The plumber, Donny, managed to fix the problem rather quickly, but ended up finishing at a awkward time close to when I needed to go pick up E. Throw in packing up and writing a receipt, I ended up racing to go pick up E and arrived 12 minutes late. I felt pretty bad about that, but luckily E's school was understanding. 

After that we went to Dierbergs, to take advantage of the $5 Tuesday Sushi deals, and picked up some ham, cheese, brownies, and ice cream. We ate right when we got home, and then we called my In-Laws, for them to chat to E as she played. When we finished chatting, I went upstairs to take a shower because I felt sticky from all the yard work. Later, after putting E down for a nap, I took a nap too. I originally set an alarm, but I managed to turn that off because I was so tired, and ended up waking up close to 4:45pm. Luckily we still have leftovers of beef stew, so at least I didn't feel pressed for time. When E woke up, I called my parents and spoke to them until Jon came home.

I finished reading the book I had been reading last night. 

Wednesday - 29 Sept

Today after I dropped E off at school, I came home and napped. I cleaned up a little around the house, and started the whole process of mid-week laundry. Then I went to pick up E. While picking her up, I realised I had left my phone at home, and so ended up immediately returning home to fetch it. Then we went to a nearby playground, and while E played (it was empty and small-sized), I looked through one of the baby name books that I had borrowed. When she was all played-out (and I was coincidentally done with that book), we went to Aldi to get the weekly groceries. I had also used the time at the playground to mentally plan what food to cook for the rest of this week, while ensuring that we used up all of our leftovers.

After getting home, I made a tomato, ham, and cheese omelette for the both of us to share. Then she played outside with her water gun for a short while, and I finally put her down for a nap, and hopped on the computer to start typing all of this out. I still have to: 1) finish the laundry, 2) pay the lawn mower guy (if he comes today), 3) finish going through the other baby name book. Tonight will be leftovers again, the final batch of beef stew with homemade bread that I made last week Friday. Boring, but makes my life and budget easier. 

Thursday - 30 Sept

• Rescheduled toddler gym class: 10am
• Kill time/figure out lunch: 10:45-11:45am
• Go to Ilse's place for a long-overdue playdate with Leo: 11:45am
• Leave for home for naptime: 2pm
• Pizza leftovers for dinner? + salad from Aldi

Friday - 1 Oct

• Arrive at E's school to see the fire truck: 10:30am
• Visit Hartke Nursery to spend Hartke Bucks (Oct only)
• Lunch?
• Hang out with Lynne, if weather permits
• Naptime
• Tilapia for dinner - sides?

Saturday - 2 Oct

• Dinner with Adem's family (Jon's colleagues)
• Get more mulch (can be Sunday too)

Sunday - 3 Oct

• Make Chili con Carne for dinner

Gardening Again

In the last week I started gardening again. I also started visiting plant nurseries again. Within a week, I have managed to visit all my favourite plant spots: Sugar Creek Nursery, Dauster's Greenhouse, the Kirkwood Farmer's Market, OK Hatchery, Rolling Ridge, Maypop, Greenscape Gardens, Lowe's and lastly Hartke Nursery. To my disappointment, the Kirkwood Farmer's Market didn't have a lot, and OK Hatchery wasn't selling many plants either (though this is normal for them). Anyway during the last week, I've also racked up at least 7 hours of gardening, and have acquired a light sock tan again.

I figure I don't have much time to get all the gardening I want done, mainly because I will soon become too big to bend down properly. That being said, at 20 weeks+ pregnant, I still feel remarkably small thanks to all the weight I lost in the first trimester. I've only just started gaining weight, and only exceeded my pre-pregnancy weight about a week ago. 

Elephant Ears

 

Last year when Jon and I were wandering with E around a trail at a nearby park, we stumbled upon a delightful little grove of these gigantic Elephant Ears surrounding a rock, which made for a really cute photo spot for E. After seeing that, I felt inspired to grow Elephant Ears too, even though I had seen them before in Singapore and never really paid much attention. 

Anyway, during a warm week in March, I planted 3 Elephant Ear bulbs near where the old dead Pin Oak had been in our front lawn (see, patch of dead/struggling grass in the foreground). The few weeks after that though, it got cold and the ground froze again. Plus it even snowed in April for a day, if I recall. I was sure that the Elephant Ears were a goner, because the bulbs are susceptible to rot and freeze damage. To my surprise however, 2 of them started to emerge around June.

Today, in the first week of September, the plants still stand - though not as impressive as those I remember from the park. They're about waist high for me, so slightly less than a metre tall. Still, given that I had planted them early and did nothing to help them thrive after (besides ringing them with rocks to protect them from the lawn mowing people), they've done a good job for themselves. The variety I bought could also be the reason for their height, it seems like there are many types of Elephant Ears, with some single bulbs alone retailing for $15 or more. It remains to be seen of course, whether I remember to dig these fellow up when they've died back to the ground, and whether I will plant them in again next year.

A Friday

In an effort to save money/initially being unsure of what to do with myself, we pared down E's Montessori from 5 days full days to 3 half days. This was because Jon and I were trying to conceive #2 this year, hence me going back to work didn't seem to make sense (not to mention all the Covid-19 craziness still in the educational sector). So we reduced the amount of days that we had originally applied and were waitlisted for, and were given Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday half days from 8:30am to 11:30am. This means that I have 2 full days where I need to figure out how to entertain an extremely rambunctious toddler. 

Yesterday at least I sort of had a plan before the day started. I wanted to drop by a hardware store to get anti-fly stuff (we have a bad housefly problem at home), pick up second-hand maternity clothes that I had purchased off FB Marketplace, and return clothes to Target. I managed to accomplish this all yesterday, dropping by a HomeGoods store and a Whole Foods to boot, mainly because they were also in the same shopping mall lot as the Target.

Today however, I kind of dreaded, as I didn't have a plan. E has toddler gym at 10:30am, but that left a lot of other free time to fill. Plus it is also terribly hot (area heat advisory), so going for a walk or visiting a park/playground was completely out of the question. In the morning however, over breakfast/getting ready, E and I (well mainly me of course), had an impromptu video chat session with Jia. Then we went to the gym, and it turned out Open Gym (where the kids can have free run of the place) was scheduled from 11:30am to 12:30pm. So we hung around for Open Gym, then headed next door to eat a quick lunch at Jimmy John's. After that, on the way to the library, we stopped to get a Strawberry Milk Bubble Tea (tad too sweet). It was also our first time visiting the Thornhill branch of the library, and it was really nice and modern. We had to leave a little earlier than I wanted to however, as E was starting to get wild and run around like a lunatic. 

By the time we got home, it was about 1:50pm, and I felt bone tired. While E played, I cleaned up a little, and then we read some books. At 2:40pm, I finally put her down for her nap. Now I'm just sitting at the computer and typing this, feeling the weariness in my body, but also feeling satisfied that I've successfully entertained and occupied the both of us for a day. 

Tonight's dinner will be Dan Dan Noodles. I made that earlier in the week, so I have less work to do today, which is a nice relief. I can sit down and enjoy the majority of my break today without having to worry/feel guilty about outstanding chores like laundry.  

Tomorrow however, is a new day, and I have no idea what to do. A week ago we ended up at the zoo, and the week before that St. Charles. Tomorrow will also be really hot again, so outdoor things are out of the question. At least Jon will be around however, to help me watch E/come up with ideas.

First Official Day of Montessori

Today was E's first official day of Montessori! The impact of it didn't really hit me because E has been going for twice a week Summer Camp since she turned 2 back in late June, but today as I drove her to school I noticed the many kids and their parents waiting by the main road outside our subdivision. Then, as I drove on a little bit more, I saw the erstwhile yellow school bus rolling down the road in the opposite direction. I started to think about how I had never really seen this scene before (because before we were indoors/in bed when this all happened), and how it was my first time now experiencing this as a parent. I then realised that for some sad reason, I don't recall clearly how the first day of my student teaching in East Harlem/teaching in Singapore went, but presumably they went seamlessly enough for me to not remember very much. 

Anyway that is pretty much it for my 5 minute car musing, as I drove E to school. Drop off went off without a hitch, and there was no crying involved because E was at familiar with the school and setting, from her Summer Camp there. After I pick her up later we need to go to Sam's Club to get groceries and gas. 

Pretzel Sticks

Today while shopping at Target I was bending down to check out some clearance baby girl/toddler clothes when E decided it would be funny to throw pretzel sticks from her snack container at me. When I stood up to scold her, I discovered I still had pretzel sticks stuck in my hair.

And that is my anecdote for the day.

Bye Bye Saffron

 

On the 24th of July, Saffron passed away at the grand age of 19 years. Today, I picked up his ashes from the vet. It was in a white box, and placed nicely in a royal blue organza box with satin ribbon drawstrings. Even though it's been a few weeks since he's left us, I couldn't help but tear up and cry when I received the little box. It was so light and small, almost like how he had become in the last few months of his life. 

Overwhelmed by Covid, taking care of E, and morning sickness with #2, I feel like I had failed to give Saffron the attention and love that he deserved. The last time I had brought him to the vet was when we lived in New York City, and months even before E was born. This time when I had to bring him to the vet, I couldn't even go in with him for his check up because of Covid protocols, and so I waited in the car with Elizabeth while we had a 'curbside visit', and talked to the vet via phone. They ran bloodwork tests and weighed him, and the results were conclusive: he was weak and had bad kidney disease. In addition to that, Jon and I had observed how the last few months he was failing in his jumps, and walking up the stairs in a really stiff, arthritic manner. 

Even though Jon and I knew it was time to say goodbye, it was still a very sad few days for us till we had to bring Saffron for his final vet visit. We fed him tons of ham and liquid cat treats, gave him lots of pets and snuggles. E of course didn't understand what was going on. 

Saffron passed away peacefully on the 24th July with all 3 of us in the room. I was sobbing my heart out, while Jon was really sad, and E ran around looking for snacks. Then we drove off and went a particular route where Olive Boulevard (a major road) intersected with the I-270 (and interstate highway), and E asked where Saffron was, and we replied that he was gone. And something about where we were at the time when she asked the question and got her reply stuck with her - even now every time we pass that intersection E says, "Saffron is gone" to herself. 

The worst feeling was when we arrived home after picking lunch up that day. The house felt so empty and still, and there was no Saffron to greet us. No longer did we have to zealously close all the outside doors lest he dart out to explore. I no longer had to use cups with lids for the water I kept by my bedside, and food no longer had to be guarded against an opportunist. It's a very bittersweet feeling, knowing that there was no reason to do things and go out of our way because of Saffron. 

Saffron was a very good boy, and the best cat ever. He will be dearly missed.

Cleaning

This is very possibly the cleanest that E's play area has been in 2 months, or in other words before I started becoming really sick from this second pregnancy. This was enabled by the fact that she has gone to pre-school today (or summer camp, since it is the summer break), and that fact that we will be getting babysitters in for the weird late-afternoon/evening gap when I feel sickest this week - and I didn't want to be embarrassed by the utter state of the house. 

I did receive happy news today however, Jon and I will be having another baby girl!

2nd Birthday

Today was the first day in more than a week that I've been able to open the windows, and not be greeted with a blast of heat. This heatwave finally peaked on Friday, at a sweltering 37 Degrees Celsius+, with a heat advisory for the area. It was a very miserable week, and E and I stayed indoors most of the week as a result. I'm pretty sure the heat made me feel a lot sicker, in addition to the existing morning sickness that I have at 8 weeks pregnant.

Today is also E's 2nd birthday. Due to aforementioned morning sickness (or afternoon/evening sickness as is more apt in my case), we had to cancel the small birthday party we planned with her friends S and L. We picked up the cake for her birthday on Saturday, and already dug into it and sang E her birthday song (she didn't care for the cake as much as she did for the song, which is a pity because it's a great cake). Then yesterday was Father's Day and I rustled up enough energy to cook a simple steak dinner, though it took a lot out of me. Which brings us to today, the actual day itself, and I didn't have anything special planned at all except for a playdate with S at their place. Simple enough, and something she'd enjoy.

When I picked E up this morning to get ready for the playdate however, I noticed she was boiling hot. I changed her and gave her breakfast, and noticed she was acting weird. I think I was in denial about the fact that she was obviously sick, because I really didn't know what to do. Anyway I took her temperature when she was munching quietly on some strawberries (already unusual, she never does anything quietly), and sure enough she was running a fever. So I gave her some tylenol, and then we cuddled for about 45 mins watching Sesame Street before I put her down for a nap again. I didn't notice any other symptoms except a fever.

After putting her down for a nap, I finally went to the basement and brought up some of the gifts we had bought for her birthday to wrap. I didn't do a very good job, but at least I've got 3 parcels of wrapped gifts now for her to tear through later, when she hopefully feels better. 

I feel a bit like a crap Mum, even though it's not like E knows what is going on, except for the fact that she feels ill. The morning sickness has really reduced my already low energy levels, and made me feel very weak and discouraged. I haven't been able to cook much due to exhaustion and nausea, or be entirely present for E lately as a result. Then today, of all days, she wakes up sick. Though of course I know all of these things are out of my control, and that Jon and I are doing the best we can with our already stretched thin resources, it still kind of stinks just thinking about things. Oh well.

Library

About a week and a half ago, Jon and I brought E to the library. It was our first time going, since the COVID pandemic started. Since COVID, I've been borrowing e-books from the library, and while it is convenient, it's definitely not the same as being able to browse and look at all sorts of different titles in person. E loved the library, and went wild running through the stacks and seeing all the books. She somehow knew that this was different from a book store, that she could grab any book she wanted and that we wouldn't really stop her (unless it was age inappropriate).

Anyway I borrowed 3 books:

1) Crooked Heart by Lissa Evans

2) The Awkward Squad by Sophie Henaff

3) The Book of Hidden Things by Francesco Dimitri

I finished Crooked Heart yesterday night, and it was quite a pleasant and enjoyable read. It definitely reminded me of Goodnight Mr Tom, which I had to read when I was in Secondary 1. It's weird looking back, how we were introduced to such aspects of British history randomly in school without given much extra background (if I recall accurately), specifically in this instance the children evacuees from London being sent to the countryside. Anyway, my enjoyment of the book was bolstered by recalling the places mentioned in the book, felt like I was almost back in London again. 

Tomorrow we leave for a short 3 day 2 night stay at the Lake of the Ozarks. It's our first real vacation as a family. While exciting and long-longed for, I'm apprehensive as to how E will behave and sleep (we'll be all sharing a room, of course), and how I will feel given that I am now riding the wave(s) of morning sickness (not really morning, but more like all-day-but-worse-at-night sickness). I'll be bringing The Book of Hidden Things along to read.

Computer Games

Since February this year, I've barely read any books. This has mainly because my drama watching and video game playing has taken a sharp uptick. Since February, I've played Hades, Two Point Hospital (and assorted DLCs), and am currently on West of Loathing. As for dramas, I'm not even sure how many I've watched except that I am on the Story of Yanxi Palace now, and am about 1/3 of the way through its 70 episodes. 

Anyway even though today I was feeling lazy, I forced myself to go out and do some simple yard work since the temperature was mild, and the skies cloudy. I spent about an hour outside and dumped and spread 9 bags of mulch, and arranged all the stones from 1 bag of rocks around a flower bed. I could have done more vigorous work, like plant any of the 4 hosta plants that we purchased from Home Depot over the weekend, but in the end just felt too much inertia. 

Despite my laziness, I guess today was a productive day, now that I think about it. In the morning we went for a playdate at Catie's, then we did grocery shopping at Aldi. After we got back from Aldi, E and I ran into 2 neighbours who were out walking their dogs, and we chatted for a while. Then we came back inside and I immediately started preparing White Bean Chili for our dinner tonight. After I was done, I put E down for a nap, and played some West of Loathing as I drank my customary afternoon Earl Grey tea. Then I went outside to do yard work, which brings me to the present, having just come in from the outside - chased in by fat droplets of rain.

Mother's Day 2021

Recently Jon has been pretty slammed at work, so this year for Mother's Day I decided to DIY almost everything myself (he will be cooking the steaks though). I don't mind because I see Mother's Day as really just an excuse to eat good food, and I don't feel like a 'Mother' anyway. Today after spending almost 2 hours at Millennium Park with Lynne, our neighbour, E and I went to Trader Joe's on the way home. I already had some idea of a menu for dinner on Sunday, but decided to also add some stuff to the menu after getting some inspiration from looking around. While there, I also couldn't help buying some flowers for myself, even though I had told Jon that I didn't need/want Mother's Day flowers. I ended getting a mixed bunch with some sunflowers in them, and another smaller bunch of red spray roses.

After putting E down for a nap, I finally got around to arranging them on the dining table:

Anyway for Mother's Day this year, the menu will be:

- Caprese salad (need to buy some Basil)

- Cream of Mushroom Soup

- Filet Mignon steak

- Roasted baby potatoes

- Side of veg (not sure what yet)

- Torta Caprese with fresh mixed berries (Flourless Chocolate cake)

Upon reflection, this menu features an awful lot of the word 'Caprese'. What a strange coincidence.

Wiethop Greenhouse

On Sunday, we visited Wiethop Greenhouse in Ballwin, for the first time. It's located along a row of plant nurseries in Barrett Station Road, and we have driven past it before several times when it was not in operation over the Summer. I had wondered how they survived with such seasonal retail, and after visiting on Sunday and again today, I can safely that I now know how: they do such roaring business during the times that they are open for retail that they don't need to operate at other times.

When you first enter, its size is not readily apparent. Wander through a small dark passageway however, and suddenly you hit the main greenhouse area where there are just rows and rows of plants, all stacked up together in the thousands. Though their perennial section is pretty small in comparison to other nurseries, there is no doubt that Wiethop can't be beat for their selection of Annuals and Vegetables/Herb starters, all at remarkably low prices. Jon said it was like the Walmart of plant nurseries, and it's an apt description. The long lines of cars trying to get in and out of the parking lot (even on today, a weekday), makes a lot of sense now.

Anyway on an inane note, visiting Wiethop wasn't what inspired me to take the effort to write out a post today. Instead it was really to note that for the past week (or maybe 2?), I've been gardening almost everyday for at least an hour. The only exception was last Friday, the day after I got my 2nd shot of the Covid vaccine, when I was just out of it. As a result, E and I have become tanned (she runs around the driveway and plays while I garden), and probably even a little sunburned. 

E and I ended up at Wiethop again today as a result of all that gardening (because I am terrible at estimating numbers of plants needed, and visualising where they should go when I am not physically in the garden, and so always end up going back and forth to plant nurseries until I get the right number/combo). When we left Wiethop this time, we passed a woman on a motorized scooter/wheelchair thing, and E said, "Cutting grass!" happily, because she thought the woman was sitting on a lawn mower. And I was half mortified, half amused. 

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As I write all of this rambling nonsense, I am conscious of the fact that I feel kind of out of it on this gloomy, rainy, day, which probably explains why I even bothered to write any of it to begin with. All just because I was amused, and wanted to document E's comment.

A Week in the Life - April 2021 Edition

I haven't written about what we have done on a mundane day-to-day basis in a while, so here goes. Writing up all of this has taken me actually close to 2 hours, which is also a reason why I don't write very often any more, despite it's benefits for memory's sake. But I guess since I am also physically exhausted and half watching E roll around instead of napping (!!!), this is not time I could have used productively otherwise.

Monday - 19th April

I woke up to a text from a neighbour, Hannah, asking if E and I would like to come over for a coffee anytime during the day. As I had nothing planned, except a quick trip to a nearby grocery store, I accepted. I ended up bringing E on a whirlwind trip to the grocery store, where I quickly bought 1) Andouille sausage, 2) Chocolate mint chips, 3) Apples. Still despite our short trip, she managed to drop a snack container full of something (I no longer remember what) on the floor, and I felt bad when a passing store worker stopped what he was doing to clean it up. After we got home, I pushed E over to Hannah's in her stroller, and we ended up hanging out in her backyard with her son, J. Later, another neighbour's nanny and her charge came over to play, so I finally got to meet her after seeing her from afar for some time. When E and I left, I took the long way home, pushing her in her stroller in one big loop. Lunch (as it was for the rest of the week) was Chicken Noodle (minus the Soup bit, because it had been all absorbed by the noodles) that I had made on Sunday night.

That night for dinner, I made Red Beans and Rice, with the Andouille sausage I had bought earlier in the day. It was a lot better than the last time I made it, because I was a lot more careful with how much Slap Ya Mama Cajun seasoning I added.

Tuesday - 20th April

Tuesday is our usual playdate day with Catie and her son, S. I drove over in the morning and noted that it was already starting to snow a little (crazy since the day before it was actually quite warm outside, but luckily Hannah had warned me when I went over). I tried to parallel park right outside Catie's apartment, but ended up taking several tries this time. Unfortunately however besides E (who doesn't really count), there was a random woman waiting outside the apartment this time, who witnessed me going in and out like an idiot. When I finally succeeded, I noticed she had disappeared, and was a little disappointed that she didn't see me pull it off. However just as we got out of the car and up the stairs to the apartment building, she appeared again, Apparently she had been trying to get in to visit an upstairs apartment. I made a joke about how I had finally managed to park, and she said she admired my determination, hah.

Playdate at Catie's went as usual. She made some sort of Pineapple Marshmallow thing that E had a bit of. By the time we left it had started to snow heavily, so I decided to take local roads, stopping by Jilly's Cupcakes on the way home too. I thankfully noted that the roads seemed a lot more emptier than usual, so most people were staying in to avoid the weather. After we got home, and while eating lunch, we called my in laws to video chat. 

I don't remember what we had for dinner. 

Wednesday - 21st April

I decided to make Chocolate Chip cookies, after not having baked in a number of weeks. I think because I used a different recipe, I ended up estimating the quantity of everything wrong, and despite drowning in a huge pile of dough that overwhelmed my largest mixing bowl, I still ended up with too much chocolate chips. I ended up making another half measure of dough just to accommodate the chips. While I was doing this, E was running around like a maniac, and so besides later having to clean the kitchen, I had to reckon with the play area too. Making the dough and all the baking also took way longer than I remembered, and was also a lot more exhausting than I recall. 

After lunch, I put E in the stroller and pushed her to Brianne and Hannah's respective houses, to drop off bags of cookies. I was too tired to push E all the way around on the big loop, so we went down the road past Hannah's house, and then we turned back. When we got home I realised that our Forest Pansy Redbud tree, that we had had ordered on the weekend from Rolling Ridge had arrived, along with the little Cavatine Pieris shrub. However this wasn't a good time, because there was a frost warning that very night. So even though I was already exhausted, I started digging and planted the Cavatine out front, and started digging 75% of the hole for the Redbud. I had hoped that I could rest and clean when E napped.

But no. E didn't nap this day. Instead she climbed out of her crib and fell on the ground, screaming because she was scared. I had barely managed to rest and was about to tackle cleaning and the laundry when this happened. So I had to take her out of the room. I optimistically tried to clean up while E was awake, but she threw a tantrum instead and I was just very frustrated, tired, and overwhelmed. Nothing was achieved that afternoon. 

When Jon came home, he helped a lot with planting the Redbud tree while I heated up the Red Beans and Rice. When E and I were bathing, he folded all the laundry. Later when E went to bed, he helped me clean up the play area. I am thankful that my husband is so helpful and understanding.

Thursday - 22nd April

Thursday is our usual playdate day with Jennifer and Ilse, and their respective sons, A and L. They came over for a short playdate this time, because Jennifer had an appointment at 2pm. After they left, E and I had our lunch and we went to Aldi to get groceries. I had originally intended to go on Friday, but I decided to take the opportunity to do it on Thursday since we had time from the short playdate. E decided to wear her rain boots, and it didn't occur to me that it was a bad idea until it kept falling off, because they were a little too big for her. I don't know how many times it fell off on that trip, but it sure did at least amuse a lot of the patrons at Aldi.

That night for dinner, I made Honey Mustard Chicken Thighs, which came out really disappointing. I don't know what went wrong, because it was a recipe I had made before. Jon still said he liked it, because he is that kind of a good person.

Friday - 23rd April

Decided to go to Trader Joe's, to get snacks, since we didn't have to do our usual regular grocery run at Aldi. I remember when I used to go to Trader Joe's all the time in NYC, because it simply had the cheapest produce around. Looking around nowadays, I am struck by how much pricier it is, though as always the quality can't be beat. Loaded up an entire cart load of snacks that E likes, like freeze dried Okra and Broccoli, though they didn't have the freeze dried Mushrooms that E liked too. After that I drove to Hartke Nursery, because I wanted to get more of the same Coreopsis Presto plants that I had bought previously and planted. 

Called my in-laws to video chat during lunch, and then sent E off to nap. While she napped I planted the Coreopsis plants I had just purchased, and rearranged part of the flower bed. For dinner, we had Korean food from Sides of Seoul. Jon picked it up on the way home from work, and as usual it was great.

Saturday - 24th April

We knew Saturday would be a rainy day, but we decided to venture out anyway. Jon finally got to visit OK Hatchery in Kirkwood, even though I've already been there many times. I bought 30lbs of bird seed, and some strawberry and tomato seedlings. Then we crossed the road to Summit Produce where I was just floored by the amount of available plants there. I had seen the advertisements where they advertised a larger garden center, but I hadn't expected the sheer size of it. Anyway I spent way too much time there, as Jon watched a very wriggly E (what a patient, patient man), and ended up getting some Amsonia and Lantana plants. The other patrons there must have thought I was an idiot for asking him things like, "Jon, what is 12 feet?"

After Summit Produce, we went to Walmart because I needed some items like a flash card storage box (for E), and Chocolate Almond Milk. Then, we drove to King Edwards to get takeout. It was the first time we had tried them, and their fried chicken and sides were great. The fried chicken wasn't salty at all, but was still flavourful. Their sides were the same too. Would definitely go back.

During E's nap time, I went out do more yard work. Everyone and their dogs seemed to be out too now that the rain had stopped, and I ended up chatting to quite a few neighbours. I planted the Lantana out front, where I had planted Lantana last year (they are an Annual in this climate zone, weird to think that I had never thought much about them before even though they are prevalent in Singapore), and weeded the little flower bed I had made by the driveway. 

Dinner was the last of the Red Beans and Rice. Then we took a short evening walk, and ran into Brianne and Amit who were also out walking with their son, D. We chatted a little bit before we went in to bathe. That night, Jon and I watched So, I Married an Axe Murderer, and it turned out to be very enjoyable. We had both heard of the movie before, but had no idea what it was about. I had noticed it on Amazon prime earlier, and since we haven't watched a movie together in a bit, it worked as a nice date night movie after E went to bed.

Sunday - 25th April

We had no plans or concrete ideas (Jon wanted to visit a petting zoo, but it was too far away for an impromptu trip), so we ended up deciding the 'adventure' for the day would be to drive into the city to visit Flowers and Weeds, and maybe eat Mexican food on Cherokee Street. Our first stop was at Lowes, to get more top soil. Then we drove into the city. I didn't end up getting any plants from Flowers and Weeds, though I did get a couple ideas from seeing the plants there. We also didn't end up eating at Cherokee Street, because we got spooked by a guy standing almost on the middle of the street, clearly tweaked out of his mind. 

Instead we decided to try the CWE, but it looked quite crowded, and so in the end we got takeout from Fork and Stix, which we were going to get last week, but ended up at Hi Pointe for burgers instead. After E napped I did more yard work, cleaned out the rest of the weeds from the driveway flower bed, and finally planted the Gentian that I had purchased weeks ago. I also planted one of the Amsonias before my battery went flat/it got too late. Dinner was a weird mish-mash of random items that had been languishing in our freezer, like King Crab and a lobster pasta bake from Aldi.

Monday - 26th April

The day before I had asked Hannah if she was interested in going to a nearby park, since J was talking about it a lot the week before. So, at 10am, I met her and J there. We hung out there until about 11:30am, when she had to return home to meet a repairman. I left then too, and E and I went to Dauster's Greenhouse. When I spent too long pondering the various types of Viburnums they had, E went and loaded up a cart full of Lavender plants (there were 13, I counted when I put them back):

I ended up spending over $100 on a few different shrubs. I ended up purchasing a Brandywine Viburnum, three Compacta Inkberry, and an ominously named Illuminati Tower Mock Orange (???). Rounding it out were some other types of Coreopsis (Zagreb?), and two Cucumber seedlings. I decided to see how much I could done immediately after getting home, and ended up planting the Viburnum and the Compacta. Again, I probably overexerted myself, but now at least our backyard looks like this after we have removed all the Bush Honeysuckle:

Then E and I finally went in for lunch, and we had Fish Nuggets with ketchup. So naturally now as I write up this super long post, I have ketchup all over my t-shirt. 

Dinner will be some steaks that I picked up on a lark at Aldi last week.

Spring Pea Rotini Pasta

At Aldi I once bought a particular type of Red Lentil Rotini Pasta, and ended up falling in love with it and the suggested recipe at the back. I had bought it in an attempt to be healthy early last year, and had no idea how to prepare it as a dish, so it had languished around for a few months before I decided to try the recipe at the back of the box:

It turned out to be a winner! And the Red Lentil Rotini turned out to be a seasonal item from Aldi. Damnit! The next them I saw it, I bought 3 boxes, and now we are down to our last box. Trader Joe's sells Red Lentil Sedanini (looks like Penne), so I bought some to try. Today, I intend to cook our lunch with the Trader Joe's Sedanini instead, and keep the Rotini (just in case? To drag out the duration I can enjoy it's tasty healthfulness?).

Anyway the thought for this post came about when I was chopping up the ingredients a short while ago. If I'm making lunch (which isn't often, usually we do leftovers or something easy like oven Chicken Nuggets), I need to prep as much as I can before E is up and running about. Sometimes I do it the night before, but for today I just did it as I drank my morning tea. I was cutting up the salami when it occurred to me that it looked almost exactly like lap cheong, the Cantonese sausage, that I absolutely detest. At home sometimes my family would steam the lap cheong together with that night's rice, and then all the rice would have a tinge of lap cheong taste, URGH.

Now I'm not a huge salami fan, I like it enough and will eat it if it's in front of me, but I don't actively seek it out - but seeing how similarly they looked made me stop and pause for a moment to think about my identity. All confusing Singaporean-Upper Middle Class-Chinese-Went to UK for Uni-Immigrant in the US-Mother-American passing bits of it rolled up together. I was especially reminded of the 'American passing' bit yesterday when I was talking with the boss of a brush removal company, who we hired to get rid of stumps of all the bush honeysuckle that Jon and I cut down over months at the back of our house. 

The boss was an friendly, honest, and nice guy. When he smiled/talked, your eyes were immediately drawn to his missing front teeth, which somehow increased his perceived friendliness. Anyway, after they had finish and were packing up, the conversation somehow went to food (his partner said he needed to run to the store to get pepper and cold beer), and he asked if I was ethnically Chinese after saying, "I know you're Native American" (obviously he misspoke, but you get what he means), before asking about what we cooked at home (reply: I cook American food because it is easier as you can just stick it in the oven. Chinese food needs 5 different dishes and so is harder to cook).

Now for me this is always a funny feeling, to have an American think that I am an American, something that has happened numerous times. It is simultaneously pleasing to me because it means the guise I have put on has worked, I don't like people knowing I am an immigrant because I don't like random people knowing my business and making assumptions about me. This is especially important when I worked as a teacher/substitute teacher, last thing you want is students getting distracted by you. But now I live in suburbia, and day to day interact with only people who are already familiar with me. Even though many of them know I am a Singaporean, and I find myself sometimes having to double think about the pronunciation of certain words in an American accent after the twin dumbing down of motherhood and Covid lockdowns, I take pains to make sure I am speaking in an American accent.

But then again maybe I am just overthinking things. The Singaporean accent is really not easily understood at all, and when I interact with others my goal is communication. That and I still don't want random people to know my business.

Baking

I just realised that for the whole month of February (granted it's a short month), I neglected to write anything. This is probably because I discovered the utility of Viki, and have been watching Asian dramas pretty much non-stop. From Jan to now, I have watched 4 and a half different dramas of varying lengths: Miss Truth, Arsenal Military Academy, The Legends, Women in Shanghai (half finished - no subtitles so it requires effort on my part), and Flower of Evil. Of all of them, none took for me for as crazy a emotional ride as much as Arsenal Military Academy. So while it was enjoyable, I can do without the tumultuous feelings from watching a drama. 

Anyway today I was making Double Chocolate Mint Cookies, when I started just thinking about all the baking I've been doing the past year. For example around this time last year, I made my first batch of Chocolate Chip Cookies. Even though I love a good chocolate chip cookie, I somehow had never gotten around to making them before, instead enjoying the pre-made Pillsbury chocolate chip cookie dough. Then for E's first birthday, I made a Carrot Cake, complete with frosting. Somewhere down the line I also made a Milo Cake and a Hummingbird Cake (both with frosting), and flourless Chocolate Cake. I have made several rounds of different types of muffins, made Corn Bread and regular bread, and also Peanut Butter Blossoms. I also tried making Japanese Cheesecake, which was quite a pain because it required a bain-marie. 

Overall, it feels nice to think of all the progress that I have made in baking, even though this was never a skill that I cared much to hone before. Before meeting Jon and his family, I wasn't a huge desserts person, instead preferring sweet drinks like bubble tea or teh ping to solid sugary treats. Now I have become converted, though not quite to their ranks. Baking desserts rather than buying them is both a cost and calorie saving measure.

Elmo

Yesterday, on a very wet and chilly day, E learned how to identify and say the name of her first character: Elmo. Usually we don't watch a lot of videos, save for random generic videos of fruits dancing to music, but yesterday was a particularly claustrophobic like day where we didn't leave the confines of the house at all, and so I needed ways to keep E entertained. Enter Sesame Street videos on Youtube. E soon learned how to identify and say, "Elmo", and also learned to identify and say "Fish" (Elmo has a pet goldfish called Dorothy).

We did finger painting for the first time yesterday too, which kept her attention for a grand total of maybe 15 minutes (if I am being optimistic). The post-finger paints bath probably took up more time than the finger painting itself, but whatever works to keep a toddler busy.

New Words

At 18 months and a half (I think I first noticed it on Sunday, the 10th of Jan), E has started saying, "No!" Initially I wasn't sure she was saying No, because it sounded so cutesy and with such a high inflection, but after hearing it a few times, plus coupled with her shaking her head, it is very clearly a No. Jon said she sounded like Yoshi from Mario.

Another two words I noticed from her last week were Kiwi and Grapes, incidentally both fruits that she likes and are also found in the felt fruit basket we purchased from Ikea just before Christmas. She says "Wiwi" for Kiwi, and Grapes is - for some inexplicable reason - something that sounds like "Ducks". 

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These last few days, Jon and I attempted to switch E over to a floor bed from a crib. We thought she would enjoy the freedom more, especially since she likes to pull books and toys into her crib when she is inside, by reaching through the rails and grabbing anything that she can. Instead, it was an unmitigated disaster. E would throw these massive, anxiety ridden tantrums and not settle down to sleep. She would throw herself against the door and floor in her distress if we left the room, hitting her head and sustaining several small injuries like cut lips in the process. Yesterday I got an anxiety attack just dealing with her and felt like I couldn't breathe for several hours. It was, in short, an extremely unpleasant time for all involved. So last Jon proposed putting the crib back, and voila, peace was restored again into the household. I don't even know what to make of all of this, except I am relieved that it is over. 

Bird Brain

After putting E's breakfast down on her little table this morning, I decided to take a quiet moment to watch the birds outside the window. I had seen quite a few of them out of the corner of my eye, and so decided I wanted to watch for a short while, especially since E hadn't woken up yet.

A large European Starling was perched at the top of my suet feeder, and seemed to be dominating it (they are known as bullies after all), but my regular feeder was again dominated by House Sparrows (another mini bully), and there were 3 fat squirrels right underneath the feeder greedily eating in a circle (and given that they do fight with some of the birds, I guess they are bullies too). Still, as I watched I got to see a bright red Cardinal swoop in and out and some fat Robins off on the lawn pecking away. There were two or three Blue Jays flying around and hanging out on both the lawn and the bird feeder, some little Chickadees singing in the vicinity and nibbling away, and one little White Breasted Nuthatch and one little Tufted Titmouse nipping in and out very quickly with their respective bounties.

Upon walking back to the kitchen, I also saw a pair of House Finches on the dormant Burning Bush, surveying the little seed bell we have positioned right outside the window. I think they flew away when they caught sight of my presence though. Later I passed the front window again and saw the same Cardinal arguing with several of the Sparrows while they were all on the bird feeder. A Downy Woodpecker was now on the suet, and ignoring the chaos underneath. 

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I don't know when my fascination with birds started, though it's admittedly not something that has been very consistent in my life. I don't remember paying attention to any birds besides pigeons when I lived in NYC, though perhaps that is because there were no other birds than pigeons in NYC. Maybe there were sparrows too, but I really don't recall many. 

I grew up, like many kids from a former Colonial country, immersed in various aspects of British culture. The one most pertinent to the point I am trying to make is its literature. I remember devouring Enid Blyton books, and sometimes not really understanding the details of what I was reading, but enjoying the stories anyway. Tales of children going off on rural countryside adventures (all in very warm and urban Singapore!), and encountering wild animals and different types of birds. Plus having things like 'suet feeders', which confused me even as I got older because suet means a type of animal fat - so birds eat animal fat?! Or the feeders were to create animal fat?!

Then of course there was the general love of literature in English, most of which happens to be set in either the United States, Europe, or the UK. Plus general aspects of culture. And though I can't think of any one piece of media where there was explicit talk of birds, I had imbibed enough over the years that even before I put any serious thought to bird watching, I was already familiar with the names of many of the birds even though I had no idea how they looked like. 

Well, flash forward to last year and Jon and I got our first bird feeder. Since then I have been trying to learn the names of feeder birds, with my last few being the Carolina Wren, the House Finch and Purple Finch. When it comes to female House Finches and Purple Finches though, I don't know how I'm ever going to learn to distinguish between them and all the many different types of Sparrows. I will just call every one a House Sparrow. It amazed me how many of them really look so similar, and yet there are people that can tell them apart. For now, that person will not be me.

2021

2021 is finally here, and hopefully it will be a better one than 2020. That being said, it's hard to imagine life going anywhere near back to 'normal' for at least the next few months (realistically late 2021/early 2022) until vaccines are fully rolled out + the very virulent and contagious strain of COVID-19 is contained. I realised yesterday, after a very stressful and emotionally trying day with E, that it has been at least a full year where Jon and I got no outside help with E. Now that she is just past 18 months, she is turning into a full fledged toddler, complete with endless toddler meltdowns and tantrums, and it is very wearing on me despite my best efforts to ignore her.

Anyway today I just want to do a brief tally of the words in her vocabulary, just for memento's sake (and to attempt to focus on the positives):

1. Dada
2. Mama
3. Lolo (Tagalog for Grandpa)

4. Ball

5. Bubble

6. Nana (Banana)

7. Uh-oh

8. Wow

9. Hi

10. Bye

11. Doggy

12. Da Gun (Saffron? Or any animal, e.g. squirrel, bird)

She understands a lot of different words too, like No, Book, Milk, Nap, and so on, but hasn't attempted to say them yet. One time she did say Gong Gong when we were talking to my Dad and she repeated after me, but I haven't heard her say it since. It is interesting to see her language acquisition, and how fast she picks up some words like 'Bubble' which she started saying during a bubble bath this week, and was the first time I had said 'Bubble' and given her a bubble bath in a while.