What can I say that has not been already said?

I wish I tried harder, pressured them into accepting my help. But no, I didn't.

I wish I took heed of Stephanie's words, didn't dismiss it as quickly as I did. But no, I didn't

I wish I had followed her off when I saw her slipping away from the crowd. But no, I didn't.

I wish I had searched harder, gone out into the rain instead of shouting from the shelter. But no, I didn't.

I could have done so many things, but instead I chose the be complacent and ignorant. It's all my fault.

And when I looked at the informal class picture, my heart broke. There she was, right next to me smiling away. If only she knew what would happen in just a few months time.

Thank God she's safe now.

I never knew exactly how big MGS was until I ran around for one and a half hours, how many dark hiding places, how many possible high points. I feel so emotionally drained and depressed for all the events that happened these past few days.

I can't imagine a Sec 4 year without those 4, why did't I help them? Why didn't they accept my help? And to top things off, the scholar in my class might lose her scholarship and be forced to return to Malaysia.

It's not fair. It's not fair! I should be happy that I'm not one of them, not even an advancee, but how can I be happy knowing that they won't be there to brighten up my day in Sec 4?

Just ignore me, I know I sound very emo now but I really want to let everything that's been bothering me for the past few days out.

I shouldn've, I could've.