Mayday, It's Payday

A fool and her money are soon parted, as so the (gender relevant in this instance) saying goes. And I, am a huge fool. For instance, just when I thought I'd done my usual round of donations on Kiva, I spotted this which piqued my curiosity. I thought it was an interesting idea so whoosh, there went another SGD36 from my pocket.

Yesterday my bank account had just 50 cents left. I had spent my last paycheck paying off all my loans from friends and my Mum, that sustained me throughout Summer in London. I have never felt so terrified of hole-in-the-walls/ATMs as much as I have been this year, from being constantly broke over Summer to broke in the awful month of October.

This month, I'm expecting a wee bit more pain to the pocket. I need/want to pay for my Dad's birthday dinner, and then there's upcoming Christmas (which I seem to be already planning for) gifts to reckon with. Whoosh money indeed.

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Today I had a fantastic class. Out of the supposed 7 students that were supposed to turn up, 4 did, and 1 wasn't even on the original list. Anyway it wasn't because of the small number that class was fantastic, it was because it was a class for students who has missed the original lesson for that week - that meant I got a mishmash of people from various classes, all who didn't know each other. To clarify, that means they don't know each other, and therefore are extremely unlikely to make trouble during class. After my past experiences with doing relief teaching, I was overjoyed with this lot.

I complimented them during class multiple times and told them they were angels. Although they were quiet, they were responsive. Plus seeing their smiles meant a lot more to me, as I knew it was directly caused by something I had said or done. Teaching that class was therapeutic, and did way more for me than anything I can conceivably think of now. Lovely, lovely kids.

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Last night I stayed up late reading Asa Nonami's Now You're One of Us. I started reading around 12 midnight when I went down to eat supper, and finished it at 2:45am. I could not, LITERALLY, put the book down. I found it absolutely terrifying and spine-chilling. I just had to find out what would happen in the end. When I finally finished it, I didn't even feel relief, for I just felt my whole body tense from the suspense and sheer disgust. For the 99% of people out there who will not read the book, here's the storyline: a cult-incestuous-family that uses drugs to keep daughters-in-law in. It reminded me of the Aum Shinrikyo Cult video I showed my students, on the methods the cult used to lure/keep members.

Needless to say, I was utterly exhausted today because of a lack of sleep.

Now I need to read something mild again, to relax my mind. 

Christmas Cards in October

I know it's still 2 months away, but I've already started to think of Christmas. Not so much thinking about what I want (heavens knows what I want, cause I hardly know myself) but more like thinking what to get for others. Anyway I've just spent over $100 on Christmas cards and wee gifts (OH MY GOD WHAT WAS I THINKING?!) from Etsy, the original money sucker. Thank goodness I have a job (for now at least) that allows me to sustain my silly purchases, like donating endless amounts of money to Kiva or sponsoring community projects on Kickstarter.

Perhaps I should just read more/watch more Peep Show. Then I'd be too distracted to go looking for things to do with my money. 

Ugly Stickers

It's the 6th week since I've started working in my first real job (although I mistakenly told a senior teacher I was observing last week that it was my 7th week then). I've finally worked long enough to kinda lose count as to when I've started working, which says something I guess. I had to check a desk calendar to count the weeks properly.

Work so far has its up and downs. Usually I'm so bored of myself/sleeping/reading/doing nothing that by Tuesday I'm raring to go. By Thursday/Friday I find that I can't wake up and Saturday is usually a whole day of me sitting stunned at my desk. Of course tonight is Monday night and I'm (excitedly?) thinking of what I need to do tomorrow when I get to work, thinking about the classes I need to plan and etc. Then of course you need to factor in Classes From Hell which I seem to be the only one of the newbies getting, which stresses me to such astronomical levels and whittles away at my self-confidence to such an extent that I feel that I either ought to be fired or quit before I get fired. Arghgarghbargh.

Hopefully my classes this week will be good.

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Today my brother managed to spent 2 hours eating his dinner. I don't know how he managed to do that, but I found it annoying for some reason.

I'm currently reading The Sisters Brothers, which I started on Saturday evening, and it's proving to be a real enjoyable read. In Littlebourne with Joaquin, we used to play Antonio's Red Dead Redemption. The Sisters Brothers reminds me quite a lot of Red Dead Redemption. Similar Wild West setting, the archetypical sort of characters, and the same sort of absurd many-happenings. It'll probably make my 2012 Top Ten List.

Pseudoephedrine

Yesterday I finally gave in and went to see the doctor. After weeks of insisting that I was not sick in a curable sense - I was merely allergic to the haze - I found out that I was sick in a curable sense. Given the cumulative loss to my standard of living over the past one month (and almost a month exactly it was to the date I came back home), I felt peeved. Like I had been cheated out of something, albeit by my own stubbornness. One of the medicines the doc gave me was pseudoephedrine, a truly peculiar drug.

According to wikipedia, pseudoephedrine is a commonly used drug-component fr a variety of reasons. The one applicable to me was as a nasal decongestant (hooray for finally being able to breathe out of my nose!) and the other is as a stimulant, to enhance waking. Now the strange thing is that for me, pseudoephedrine also makes me sleepy. But at the same time it makes my heart race. This means that it makes me fall into a strange trance whereby my brain slows down to a crawl while my heart thunders away. It is a very strange feeling.

I took my medication on the bus today, while on my way to work. An hour later, I was in a state that can only be described colloquially as feeling very gong. That is, I felt like someone had taken my head and smashed it into one of those large buddhist temple gongs. Stunned, into some strange twilight zone.

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Today I managed to return to a class I co-taught last week, because I wanted to spend more time with one of the students. This boy, quite a cute looking child I must add, seemed to be perpetually getting in trouble with the teacher. He was either unable or unwilling to follow instructions and pay attention to the teacher. It didn't help that he seemed to be a relatively weak student took. Last week I found myself taking him aside and going through everything that I had already done earlier with the other students. He had absorbed nothing of what I had said, and taken no notes down despite them being on the whiteboard. When I asked him to cross out a wrong answer, he responded by putting a little cross next to a string of wrong words -______-"

So anyway this week I returned back again. This time, I sat next to him as the teacher taught, and watched him to make sure he had the right worksheet, was on the right page and all. He was much better behaved this week, and actually seemed to be following the class. I also started to notice a few things about him, namely that he seemed like an anxious child. At the same time, he had lots of rubbish in his bag (complete with melted candy that made everything stick together) and his pencil case, which only made him MORE anxious when he tried to search for anything. Furthermore, I noticed that he had a strange habit of doubling up in laughter for a hell of a long time. Something that other students would laugh at for a few seconds, he would choke up in laughter for a full minute. Strange, but some how kinda cute.

The best moment came today when the class was doing a composition, and I turned to see him with his hands raised right up, looking intently at me. A few minutes later, he did the same. I was amazed because he simply waited there, patiently to get my attention. He didn't tap me (I was less than 50 cm away from him!) or ask for my attention. He just sat there with his arm up. LOL. And when he finally did get his attention, he said "teacher, can I ask a question?" and I went "huh, me?" forgetting that I was also in this context, a teacher.

After class was over, the main teacher was so happy because apparently this was one of those rare-few classes where he had been so well behaved. And for that, I felt really happy, because it felt like such a change from just last week. I'd love to continue working with him again, if it does him any good, but we'll see.

J-J-Jaded: bored; dull

It's been my 3rd week at M/s L and I've already been given my own class to teach. One of the words I had to 'define' for the students today was 'Jaded', and I went 'J-J-Jaded' each time, in some sad Aerosmith reference that none of them got. Well, at least they enjoyed it when I played hangman to get to to guess 'bored' and 'dull'.

This morning was horrid. I seriously did not want to get up. My legs felt stiff and unbending, rioting against the notion of getting up. When I finally did get up to blow my nose, all manner of disgusting things came out, URGH. Essentially, I felt wretched, and it got worse when I sat at my desk. Something about the air in the office perhaps? During the multiple sojourns I made away from my desk (to buy a bun and later to buy Children's Day gifts), I felt much better, nevermind that it was in a similar air conditioned environment. Perhaps it was the air.

Somehow, I managed to survive long enough to make it to teach my first regular class. And the following class 30 minutes later. It's interesting because the students were the same age, the material the same, but the classroom dynamics were so different. My regular class tended to be a bit more quiet, but they warmed up near the end of class. The other class exploded shortly into the lesson (45 mins in?), nevermind that they never knew each other before, and would not stop talking or do their work without me going 'DO YOUR WORK' multiple times. The first class had 4 students. The second had 3 students. WTF. I guess this means I need to ask some of the senior teachers about classroom control. It must also be noted that their personalities seemed vastly different.

Part of the problem of course, was that I let them walk over me. I wanted them to talk, get to know each other, and have fun. At the same time, I guess how I behave in class also influences them, and it seems when in doubt I attempt to be entertaining and over the top. Which reminds me of how when I was younger I once told my Dad I wanted to be a comedian, cause I liked seeing people laugh. I liked making people happy. Then he (an eternal pessimist) told me how it was incredibly difficult being a comedian. Instead I seemed have to become an unintended comedian now in my new career, cause the students sure laughed a hell lot today.

Oof tired.