World Events

One of my biggest memories during my first postpartum fog after the birth of E was sitting in front of the TV in my grandparent's dining room, watching the HK protestors storm the Legislative Council. It felt absolutely surreal to think of the world marching on and world history unfolding as I sat in my weird bubble/fog of postpartum depression. And yet there I sat, watching protestors climb over tables and lecterns, and spray painting things on the wooden paneling. All I could think of was, "Oh my goodness" and "WTF". 

When I first had a baby, it felt like the world immediately contracted to just me and whoever was in the house, even though logically I knew that was not the case. I felt like I was on an island, cut off from everything and helpless in the face of the world. Taking even a walk outside without the baby felt taboo, and verboten, even though my anxiety was screaming at me to literally just bolt out the door and get as far away as possible from my baby. Now I don't know how often this negative feeling is experienced by other new mothers, but that's how I felt then in 2019, and how I felt again recently just a few weeks ago.

Well last week I definitely experienced that weird feeling again about being postpartum, and world events. I was up at 1am pumping again after taking care of M, and that's when I found out Russia had invaded Ukraine. It didn't feel real, even though Putin had been sabre-rattling for quite a while prior. Unfortunately 5 days into the conflict, things have becoming more and more real to my addled mind. When I saw an article about a Ukrainian woman having to give birth in a subway while sheltering from bombing, my stress levels immediately went though the roof. 

Anyway all I can say is, Russian Warship, Go Fuck Yourself.