It's 5am here and I can't sleep.
If anything else during my rather short stay here has taught me that I'm not suited for the humanitarian field. Gone are my notions of joining the ICRC or the UN's Humanitarian arm. I can't imagine suffering the same severity of illness out in the field, surrounded by suffering refugees and having no medical facilities (I actually went to the hospital here, let's just say I take back all my complaints about SGH). This place was bad enough, with me praying that the power wouldn't go out at night so the fan would keep running because I closed the windows to shut out the barking dogs. If this experience didn't make me hysterical enough, being out in the field and sick would thoroughly destroy my spirit.
Thus this notion of mine has been thoroughly rubbished, relegated into Bad Idea Hell alongside:- 1) Trying to eke an apology out of the Japanese Govt for WWII 2) Trying to read War and Peace and 3) Trying to kick glass doors.
This trip has also further lowered UN in my eyes, they having become some sort of a huge joke here, as if they weren't already enough of one. This however hasn't quite reduced my notion to work for them that much though, because how awesome is it to say "I work for the UN" and see the respect emanating from the unknowing masses? Lol. We'll see.
Thankfully I feel much better now, having vomited hopefully for the last time at 12am the most vilest bitter thing all over my bed -____________- Last night's dinner, the grand total of a spoonful of rice came out too, whole and completely undigested despite having been consumed about 5 hours prior. At 3am I woke up hungry. Hopefully this means the worst is over. And I can get on today's flight back home.
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