I often feel like I am 2 people. 2 people that are very different and do not gel together the least. They are my Heart and Mind. I could on and on about how much they affect the decisions I make, but especially in light of events during the past few week I've been doing quite a lot of reflecting, especially on their effect of my romantic relationships. I've realised that in my case I have 2 types of attractions to people, that of intellectual and emotional.
All my intellectual attractions have been dysfunctional and unhealthy. They are the crazy ohmygodIcannotlivewithouthim sort. The crazy IcrywhenIdon'tgetaphonecallfromhim sort. The totally exhilarating like oxygen on steroids sort of madness. Of course as expected this is completely and utterly unhealthy, not to mention that the guys invariably turn out to have strange issues (like mine are not enough + probably why they were even attracted to me in the first place) rendering the relationship dysfunctional after the initial madrushhappy! period has passed. Then the shit hits the fan. All my relationships have fallen into this category thus far, as have majority of my crushes.
Then there is the rarer emotional attraction. An attraction that stems from the heart, a slow and building of respect and admiration for someone. An attraction where you see the person that is inside and slowly learn to love them for it, a sincere want to see them smile because it warms your heart. I've only experienced this twice before, and I let one slip through my fingers because it was the wrong time. I'm not going to mess this one up.
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