Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Sailfish are disappointing

I was watching Life, with dear old Davie Attenborough, and today's episode was on Fish. Well I saw only 10 minutes of it, and I concluded that it shows very clearly that living creatures are stupid and henceforth we are all doomed.

The first disappointment was Sailfish. They have a long elongated nose-like area, a little like a swordfish. So there I was watching it and thinking 'holy shit, this is going to be cool', of course expecting them to turn into living harpoons and spear the hell out of the poor sardines, but no! Instead the lousy buggers just chased them about and used their noses like shovels/bats to push (I'd say smash, but they're too big of a disappointment to deserve that) the sardines out of the main shoal, and them pick them off one by one by biting them. How useless >:(

Then the next one was the flying fish. I thought they were quite cool until the last scene. It starts of with them flying about and them finding a floating palm leaf. Palm Leaves are like floating islands and good for laying eggs because they are stable - ok, fine. They start laying eggs en masse, with the females laying them first and then the males come in and fetilise them - weird, but still ok. So then you see scenes of males wriggling in and out of lots of yellow-ey gooe-ey eggs, presumably after fertilising them. But no! The last 10 seconds while David Attenborough drones on about how the palm leaf eventually gets too heavy with eggs and sinks down to the ocean floor, making it safer for the eggs, showed flying fish stuck in between the eggs as the leaf started to sink, AND THEY WEREN'T WRIGGING. Something like 20 males, their soul-less (fish don't have souls anyway, because only cats and dogs go to heaven) silvery eyes staring ahead, not moving. Some with heads plunged deep into masses of eggs with just tails sticking out. They got stuck and suffocated to death on their own damn eggs while trying to fertilise them.

I think I'm going to get nightmares tonight.

In other news, I went home early from work today because I am simultaneously period-crampy, gastric bloated-ey and flu-ey. i feel wretched.

1 comment:

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