FB

Looking at FB, and seeing good looking (okok, the correct word is hot) guys in my friends' lives makes me feel a strange sort of emptiness... like WHO ARE THESE GORGEOUS MEN AND WHY DON'T I KNOW THEM/HAVE ONE?

It's all very weird. The more I think about it, the more ok I am with being alone. As in everyday life, and even (now) traveling. I enjoyed my solo trip to Majorca so much I booked another, to see South Spain for a week after my exams (so excited! I've had a crush on Andalucia since last year). Hell I booked a whole swathe of things to do alone here in London, since it's always so troublesome trying to get people to coordinate. Then there's the thought of sharing a bed, and how sleep quality drops like mad as a result. Sharing a bed with Ianthe for three days in our Scotland trip reminded me of that. And all sorts of pains with having to compromise with people when all I want to do is get my own damn way. You'd think this'd all mean that I ought to not want a man in my life, and in a way I kind of don't. I don't want to share my awesome time with anyone, hell the time I have is barely enough even for me. Yet in a way, I WANT A MAN. Want to fall in love and be swept off my feet.

Talk about being totally irrational. It's like a remnant of my more primal side, like when my ancestors were hanging about in trees. Like this female need to settle down with a male, nevermind that it makes no damn practical sense at all. BAH. I wish I was a robot, and able to think only rational thoughts.