End of Week 9

Today I finished teaching my last classes of Week 9 since I've started work, which makes upcoming Monday the beginning of Week 10 for me. I don't know why, but I still like the idea of keeping count although it's ultimately pointless. Makes me sort of realise perhaps, how far I've come.

Last week for example, I discovered my demon voice. That is, I finally broke the shouting barrier. I'm the sort of person that likes to be as un-angry and un-upset as possible, and I tend to yell only when I'm very upset. Well last week when I was teaching a class of 9 year olds, I finally managed to break that taboo and shout at them to quieten down, even though I wasn't actually angry but afraid they were causing too much noise. Then they ended up staring at me wide-eyed for a while, before resuming their shenanigans a short while later. Kids. Nothing fazes them.

This week was kind of miserable. I ended having to rush planning and deal with mountains of (still unfinished) marking, and I'm not a fan of having to rush anything. I was called to emergency work late on Tuesday, and on Thursday I stayed back of my own accord to finish up some marking. I realised that I hadn't eaten dinner with my family at home since last Saturday! Boo. Hiss.

Today also marked a sort of landmark for me. While teaching a class of 10 year olds (which I taught last week and really liked!), one of the boys got really upset and threatened/stared down the kid next to him, and I had to step in to diffuse the situation. It worked the first time, and then I went back to teaching again, only for the same thing to erupt again later. It transpired that the boy (according to the kids after class too) was kind of sensitive, and the other students had taken it upon their tiny shoulders to tease him so he could become 'stronger'. I tried very hard not to face palm when I heard that from the girls. Solid reasoning? I have no idea.

Though that being said, I feel sad that I won't get to teach them anymore. They were really a lovely class and I grew fond of them from just two lessons. One of the girls asked me afterwards why I was so weird compared to the other teachers in the centre, who were 'so serious and practical'. I consider that an immense compliment. I just hoped it meant they actually learned something from when I taught them.

Earlier on Tuesday, I was extremely pleased by something my mentor told me. She said that she saw how patiently I handled one of the students last time I was in her class, and that she decided to follow my lead. I was so happy at hearing that I thought I'd burst. Imagine! Me! Being all inspirational and shit! Oh my indeed. And apparently after trying my method, the student had started improving lots in her class, which again I was really happy to hear. Miracle case apparently, lol.

My mentor also offered me a lift back home, which I gladly took. On the way back, I mentioned a bit about Ryan and his severe autism, and her reaction was 'AIYA, no wonder you're so patient with E (the student's name)!' So, HAHAHA, I guess growing up with a brother like that has had a tangible effect on me. Hooray for little things.

A Link

Stumbled upon Disappointments Diary 2013 while randomly surfing the internet and marking papers, and found myself incredibly ticked by the idea. In an fitting move (on the topic of being negative and all doom and gloom), I just noticed the sky suddenly grow really dark. When I started marking just 20 minutes ago, the sky was in no way this dark. It is definitely going to rain by the looks of it. Not that I mind rain much though. 

So anyway, giggle giggle at 'everything happens for a terrifyingly random reason'. 

Vertigo

On Wednesday to Thursday, I fell sick with Vertigo (is that grammatically correct?). I also learnt, as I fell sick and felt like shite, that Vertigo doesn't refer to a fear of heights (which is acrophobia), but rather to a specific type of dizziness. We have dear Alfred Hitchcock and his famous movie, Vertigo to thank for that, as the main character suffers from both Vertigo and Acrophobia. SO ANYWAY: I was down with Vertigo from Wednesday to Thursday, and boy did I feel wretched. All bodily movement had a strange effect on my brain, and my limbs felt like they were swimming in a thick soup of air. It took me an entire day of suffering (which I described to a colleague as being stuck in a dubstep song) to realise the appropriate word for what I felt was dizzy/giddy. LOL.

Today I got really irritated with my regular students, and wanted to throttle them. Good thing I didn't. Instead I punished them by making them read out loud excerpts from a local politicians extremely long and fairly dry speech. HUR HUR HUR.

Taught a grand total of (almost) 3 back to back classes today. By the third class I felt quite deadened and worn out. Luckily this class was a generally cooperative lot. I ended up being one of the last to leave the office, which was a strange feeling. Also when I finally got off my second bus to walk from the bus stop home, I felt my knees almost buckle underneath me. I am definitely going to wear flats to work tomorrow.

Tomorrow I have to teach two classes, both younger 'uns than the lot I'm used to reckoning with. God be with me.

Also, tomorrow marks the beginning of my second month working for M/s L.

Prawn Mee and Grading

After blogging earlier I realised there WAS something that I wanted, that money could buy: a subscription to The Week magazine via Pansing in Singapore. Since they're national distributers of The Week in Singapore, they also offer home delivery services too. But boy do their prices make me cry inside at $468 for a year. I guess I should just stick to buying individuals issues to read when I have the spare time.

Today for dinner we went to Zion Road Hawker Centre to eat, because my Dad really wanted to have char kway teow. I followed him when he went to order barbecued chicken wings and chanced upon a prawn mee store that I never knew existed. The store had actually yet to open but already there were two guys waiting in front. Intrigued, I went to investigate and saw lots of luscious looking raw prawns sitting in the window. Just then the shutters flew open and the men jumped up to queue, plus a woman appeared from no where and joined the queue behind them. I decided to join the queue too, and as I waited I noticed the various accolades the store had won. One of them, most notably, was from Makansutra which rated the store as 2 and a half chopsticks. LOL.

When I finally got my food, I was extremely excited. Fuelling my mood was the fact that a veritable queue had sprung up behind me in the 5 or so minutes I had waited in line. The first thing I did when I got to the table was sip the soup and whoahhh was it good and rich in prawn broth. Mmmm. I also had a stick of satay and a chicken wing too. By the time I'd finished everything, I was right and proper stuffed.

GOOD MEAL.

Came home and have been grading papers on and off till now. Such is my new life.

Yesterday Was 10.11.12

Yesterday when I was teaching, the students asked me for the date. I told them it was the 9th November, to which they replied 'but it was the 9th yesterday!' We all then started checking the date and realised loo and behold it was 10.11.12. Then I tried to teach them palindromes and sort of failed. I thought of example of 19.11.1911 which was uh, more than a hundred years ago, and really isn't a palindrome. One student however, knew what I meant and gave me a proper example from this year, which saved the day (and the point I was trying to teach them). Hooray.

During my first class early yesterday morning, I received the good news that my last class was cancelled. I could not stop beaming like an idiot throughout the rest of the class. I even told the kids and  tried to fake get them excited alongside me, but they were too jaded for that. Oh well.

So I managed to get home around 3:45pm yesterday, and finally managed to have my lunch then. I got takeaway salad from the Holland Village MRT. Then I fell into bed and slept for a good 3-4 hours. When I finally got up, I felt horrid, like a truck had hit me. I had fallen into an extremely deep sleep and all my muscles had switched off or something. The same thing happened this morning when my parents tried to wake me and failed spectacularly. I could not be woken.

I finally got up around 11am when my parents rang the house and asked me how Ryan was. Then I sort of shot up (or sort of snapped slightly awake from slumber) and went off to look for him. I had actually been tasked with looking after him while my parents went off to church, and I had evidently slept through it all. Much to my relief Ryan was just sitting docilely in the living room looking bored. Nothing looked out of place or destroyed. So all good. Except the moment I came down, he bolted right to the kitchen and in front of my eyes, snatched up a bar of chocolate hidden in the deep recesses of the fridge and ate 3/4 of the bar. Uh ok.

So later during lunch with my extremely old grandmother (Mum's side), Ryan was practically vibrating off his seat and hopping about. I LOL-ed.

After lunch we went to Uncle KL's place to hang out for a bit, then swim. There, I managed to chat to him for a bit and he asked me what I wanted for Christmas. That sort of got me thinking again about Christmas, and rather self-centeredly about myself and what I actually wanted. Answer is, I want lots of things, but none of them quite tangible or small.

For example I want to be more healthy and less sickly. I want to be able sleep a good amount every night. I want to be close to myself and I want to have a strong relationship with Joaquin. I also want to be able to connect with my students more, and be a good teacher. I want to travel to Peru to see the Machu Picchu, the Bolivian Salt Flats and Patagonia in Chile. I want to visit Cuba. I'd love to have a fabulous wardrobe. Maybe get a cute ginger cat that I'd call a stupid name like Herbert or something. I want to adopt a Cambodian child, finished reading and actually like War and Peace and go trekking again.

It's not that I don't really know what I want, I do. It's just that they're not quite things that a mere Christmas present can fulfill! 

There's No Antidote

Today, after dragging myself out of bed from two straight exhausting days at work, I got hit with yet another class to relief teach. Not only would I have to prepare extra materials in order to teach this class,  I also had to stay back 2 and a half hours past my normal working time to teach it. At the same time, I still faced a veritable mound of marking and preparation work for my other classes on Friday and Saturday. I suppose it went without saying that I was incredibly unhappy with this development. I was raging inside, from the unfairness and frustation of it all. I had been reduced to an angry, pouty child.

So sitting there, in front of my laptop and seething, I decided to look for the angriest music I could think of: Swedish House Mafia vs. Knife Party's Antidote. Now while music itself is inherently insipid dance music, the full music video is anything but. It was one of the best, most violent and inappropriate music videos I had ever seen. And, I associated the music with the video. So as I sat there angrily typing out teaching notes and materials, I pretended I was one of the masked gang members in the video shooting rival gangsters, hopping on tables and such. After playing the song on repeat for at least 10 times, I felt much better.

This week has been a crazily hectic week for me. I have to teach 7 classes in total which is a new record for me, although a normal teaching schedule is often 10 classes a week. The biggest problem however is that of these 7 classes, the material only overlaps in 2 of these classes. That means I have a grand total of 6 classes to prepare for, that is at least 12 hours of preparation to do. THAT, is madness. Coupled with the fact that I have marking given to me by other teachers, I am sinking under a pile of work. 

I just keep telling myself to think about next week, when I get 3 days off in a row, thanks to Deepavali. 

Now, just 2 more days of this continuous craziness to reckon with before I can take a 3 day break.