In Guangzhou we went to see my grandfather's cousin (apparently removed a few times, this confusion was made worse with the destruction of the family temple by the red army, but whatever, we're related). He was quite a nice men, and as my dad (and apparently grandpa) said, he ain't gonna last long. But they said that 3 years ago and he's still around. Tough dude. He barked at his live in maid, bought lap cheong for us, critisised me for not being able to speak Cantonese and basically came off as being a really awesome person.
I managed to capture this picture, which I'm really proud of, a picture of him laughing naturally with my father.
What was kind of freaky however, was when I watched him pause to breathe deeply, choke and etc, it occurred to me that at 17, I did the same things too - on a regular basis.
He thought so highly of us he even kept a picture of our family in his living room.
I felt terrible when I saw this, imagine a man so far away caring for us *just* because we were blood relatives when 50% of the people in that picture never met him or knew him at all. It was almost as if we were so ungrateful (for the record I requested for the visit).
This is his grandson. In some far out universe I am related to him. Maybe he'll like reading, or maybe he'll be an INFJ, or maybe he'll have some weird nose (like his grandpa, me, my dad, etc.)
My family's village is in Bai Yun Chun, Guangzhou (White Cloud Village), and specifically some name I clean forgot which has the word Dai (Da/Big) in it. The village wasn't too bad, quite affluent in fact. My family lived in a Chun Wu (Village House) which was 3+ stories high, crammed onto a small patch of land, which is supposed to indicate the family is filthy rich by China standards and the rooms were named Ipoh, Melaka and Singapore to remember how the overseas family helped when the family was starving during the cultural revolution and great leap forward.
But of course, a village is still a village.
I actually like this picture a lot as well. There was some guys playing pool on pool tables lining the road to the village as well, but er, I didn't want to get beaten up.
In the middle is the family temple, which the Red Army ransacked and screwed during the cultural revolution. Buggers. The pond in front of it is bloody disgusting, I saw lots of trash floating at the shore and the water was a toxic black colour. Fengshui my ass, it looked like it'd bring more bad luck than good luck.
This is the prized family tree which was destroyed. Right now we're at about the 26th generation, the Red Army destroyed literally centuries of my family history without regard >:(
This is my attempt to mindfuck the Wong elders. They left a pile of cards on a card table inside the temple so I went to rearrange them.
Imagine! Every single person caught in this frame is related to me somehow (well Wong elders loafing about outside the temple). I find the whole concept mindboggling. All my life family = immediate families and no more, and suddenly it's BOOM huge family.
Anyway onto to what Guangzhou is good for, shopping - upsized! I didn't really take pictures but this is a shoes wholesale centre. Imagine if Vivocity was nothing but cheap 45 yuan (S$9) shoes, and then add in IMM too. That's how mindboggling huge the entire place was.
In Shenzhen my Uncle KL's family joined us and we did the usual kitschy tourist thing, visiting Shi Jie Zhi Chun (Window of the World - I loled like hell at the name). It's exactly as described, imagine viewing the world as Gulliver and you'd get an idea of how surreal it feels like. While buying tickets my dad had his handphone pickpocketed, so it really does provide an authentic feel of the world.
They even had a Merlion, which made me LOL.
And people taking wedding pictures! The bride wore slippers, the kitchen kind under her dress.
The scales were done pretty accurately, they had the Savannah as well with little figurines of animals.
Except one thing: The monkeys, elephants and lions were all the same size.
I also love this picture I took. It does not get more mindfuck than this. A mini Taj Mahal, a rented Indian dancer costume and increasing modernisation all in the same frame.
Jesus approves!
And of course to remind you that you're still in China, here's a picture of a kid shitting at the Grand Canyon exhibit (it was in a corner and people tended to take pictures from afar).
It was onto to HK the next day, and damn, I do hate that place. It was way too crowded for my liking >:( My dad brought us to the escalators at the mid levels, I would have probably enjoyed it more had I not been so tired after 4 days on consecutive hardcore walking.
I found this sign at Sculpture Place? Square? completely awesome because it was written in Tagalog as well as other languages, and damn if that place wasn't filled with Filipinos. They sat on every free space and were spread out for a few kilometers around the main square area.
We even took a Tram up the Peak, which I hated because we had to stand and I was holding onto a pole, then this skinny bitch leaned against it AND HER SPINE DUG RIGHT INTO MY HANDS THE ENTIRE TRIP. It was so painful it was unbelievable. I felt less pain splitting my foot open. I couldn't even let go because that would mean plummeting to the lower end of the tram and falling on ever other poor sucker standing up as well -____________________-
And then the best part of that agonising Tram Ride, all we saw was this:
Hello lousy HK weather. That's supposed to be the Pacific Ocean down there, maybe if you look enough you'll see something.
The only consolation is that we didn't pay more to see that by buying tickets for some weird indoor viewing platform. Unless they had laser x-ray googles for their patrons, I fail to see how they had any advantage over us.
HAHAHA YOU SUCK MORE THAN I DO.
One of the last stops we made was to Bu Ji Tu Hua Chun (Buji Art Village) which sold art reproductions for dirt cheap. Imagine a poster sized painting of Mona Lisa for 50 yuan (S$10), and then think about how the artist was probably some art graduate with big dreams and ended up doing shit work for dirt pay. Glorious stuff.
I like this picture too, it almost seems like there's a crying elderly lady at the window. Haunting.
Here's a picture of one such 'artist' in question, working away outdoors.
This picture made me LOL damn bad, my dad too. Apparently it was a special commission, and as my dad puts it, 'fucking gay!' I am immensely amused.
Then on our last few moments on China soil, I took this picture of a China sex shop. I like the way it actually looks less dodgy than a Singapore sex shop.
Anyway, what is China without amusing Engrish?
Boiled Fish Labia With Mushroom
Fock Dance
And last of the lot, Coconuts (you need to read it to get it).
I need to sleep now.
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