On Monday I went out with Tiffany, and felt quite reluctant to return home. To me returning home meant my weekend was over and that the work week was restarting again. Days of being tired and feeling rushed until the weekend (really Saturday evening for me) comes again. Plus while out on Monday I actually had to step aside and conduct a 40 minute phone call with a stressed out parent. The previous Friday she had emailed me, upset with the undone work she had found in her daughter's bag. I had answers as to how that happened alright, but I couldn't quite say them. Also in a way, that parent wasn't after just answers, she wanted to know everything. So I spent 40 minutes hiding next to a fire hose reel in a corner of Somerset 313 talking to her.
After the phone call, I felt incredibly stressed out and exasperated. I felt helpless and guilty at the same. Was it that I wasn't doing my job? Yes I was true that the past month-ish I haven't exactly been able to work to the best of my ability because of other problems, but were things really that bad? Then again, the only noticeable part of my work that seemed to have suffered was in my marking rates. And I hadn't exactly had other complaints from other parents or students. In fact, it really was just one class that had been giving me problems, my Thursday 5pm class of 11 year olds.
Then I sort of realised a few things as the days went by: 1) From speaking to my colleagues, I realised that the previous teacher hadn't been known for being particularly dedicated before 2) The class was itself problematic because of both the types of students in the class (huge range in capabilities, some are brilliant, others extremely weak in English), and their behaviour (which was to mercilessly tease a student, J) 3) I had been handed the class at a very awkward time - late June 2013 - right before I was due to travel to Japan, and also far too late for me to really have had any impact on their work 4) I was not as stern as feared as the previous teacher, and because they weren't self-motivated and mainly did their work out of fear, they were now lax about completing their homework.
Thinking of all of that sort of made me feel a bit better. I went to class on Thursday sort of dreading it, but telling myself to do as best as I could. I spoke to all of them and urged them to hand up and do their homework, if not for their sakes then mine at least ('cause I know they at least like me), and they all looked guilty. Then I took one boys who said majority of the nasty comments out and spoke to him one-on-one about all his hurtful comments (before I had only warned him in class). That boy told me that the previous teacher had been very mean to J, and they had just joined in for fun and she didn't stop them. I had to tell him that I didn't agree with what the previous teacher did, and that it wasn't right to be so mean to someone who was already so visibly downtrodden and discouraged. Thankfully he agreed with my reasoning.
The lesson itself wasn't eventful or notable. It was a mock examination paper, and they were slower than my two other Wednesday classes. Oh well. Still I stressed them out and they managed to complete everything on time. With 5 minutes left, I decided to show them the silly The Fox video to make them laugh. They really liked it, especially the silly sound effects chorus bit. J had been quite slow with finishing his work (as usual), so I asked him to stay back a bit for us to go through the paper. I was quite happy with him because before while he didn't even try at all, I could see him trying now even though the work was definitely very hard for him.
Tonight after my class finished at 9:30pm, I finally managed to snatch the time to give J's mum a call. I was worried I told her, that J was getting very discouraged because the work was simply too tough. It's hard psychologically to feel like you're always inferior, and the absurdly difficult work we often give our students would only exacerbate that. I was very concerned about him, I told her (and indeed I truly am because I always have a soft spot for the 'poor thing' students.) She told me however, that before he never really cared so much about his work, but now he even does his homework without much prompting from her end. That, and he was a lot more happier about going to class now. That made me feel a little nice and fuzzy on the inside. While I couldn't actually SEE whether I was helping his English language levels, I knew at least I had managed to make J's life a little more pleasant. And in a way it's things like this that keep me going, despite all my complaints about teaching. It's the idea that I can effect real change in the lives of students and make their lives easier.
That and remembering how my cheeky hyper Wednesday 2:30pm class of 11 year olds hid in the darkness to surprise me on Teacher's Day week. I was freaking out that they had all disappeared (because I saw them IN the class a few minutes before when I walked past) and walked into the classroom freaking out. Then they jumped out screaming 'Surprise! Happy Teacher's Day!' and then bombarded me with their gifts (tea for a student, cause she knows I love tea! And a nice box of Royce from another) as I stood by stunned, mouth agape. I wanted to strangle all of them, but they were giggling so much that one crazy kid even fell on the floor laughing.
Teaching is definitely not an easy job (especially if you want to do a good job), but for now I can't think of anything else in the world I'd rather be doing.
After the phone call, I felt incredibly stressed out and exasperated. I felt helpless and guilty at the same. Was it that I wasn't doing my job? Yes I was true that the past month-ish I haven't exactly been able to work to the best of my ability because of other problems, but were things really that bad? Then again, the only noticeable part of my work that seemed to have suffered was in my marking rates. And I hadn't exactly had other complaints from other parents or students. In fact, it really was just one class that had been giving me problems, my Thursday 5pm class of 11 year olds.
Then I sort of realised a few things as the days went by: 1) From speaking to my colleagues, I realised that the previous teacher hadn't been known for being particularly dedicated before 2) The class was itself problematic because of both the types of students in the class (huge range in capabilities, some are brilliant, others extremely weak in English), and their behaviour (which was to mercilessly tease a student, J) 3) I had been handed the class at a very awkward time - late June 2013 - right before I was due to travel to Japan, and also far too late for me to really have had any impact on their work 4) I was not as stern as feared as the previous teacher, and because they weren't self-motivated and mainly did their work out of fear, they were now lax about completing their homework.
Thinking of all of that sort of made me feel a bit better. I went to class on Thursday sort of dreading it, but telling myself to do as best as I could. I spoke to all of them and urged them to hand up and do their homework, if not for their sakes then mine at least ('cause I know they at least like me), and they all looked guilty. Then I took one boys who said majority of the nasty comments out and spoke to him one-on-one about all his hurtful comments (before I had only warned him in class). That boy told me that the previous teacher had been very mean to J, and they had just joined in for fun and she didn't stop them. I had to tell him that I didn't agree with what the previous teacher did, and that it wasn't right to be so mean to someone who was already so visibly downtrodden and discouraged. Thankfully he agreed with my reasoning.
The lesson itself wasn't eventful or notable. It was a mock examination paper, and they were slower than my two other Wednesday classes. Oh well. Still I stressed them out and they managed to complete everything on time. With 5 minutes left, I decided to show them the silly The Fox video to make them laugh. They really liked it, especially the silly sound effects chorus bit. J had been quite slow with finishing his work (as usual), so I asked him to stay back a bit for us to go through the paper. I was quite happy with him because before while he didn't even try at all, I could see him trying now even though the work was definitely very hard for him.
Tonight after my class finished at 9:30pm, I finally managed to snatch the time to give J's mum a call. I was worried I told her, that J was getting very discouraged because the work was simply too tough. It's hard psychologically to feel like you're always inferior, and the absurdly difficult work we often give our students would only exacerbate that. I was very concerned about him, I told her (and indeed I truly am because I always have a soft spot for the 'poor thing' students.) She told me however, that before he never really cared so much about his work, but now he even does his homework without much prompting from her end. That, and he was a lot more happier about going to class now. That made me feel a little nice and fuzzy on the inside. While I couldn't actually SEE whether I was helping his English language levels, I knew at least I had managed to make J's life a little more pleasant. And in a way it's things like this that keep me going, despite all my complaints about teaching. It's the idea that I can effect real change in the lives of students and make their lives easier.
That and remembering how my cheeky hyper Wednesday 2:30pm class of 11 year olds hid in the darkness to surprise me on Teacher's Day week. I was freaking out that they had all disappeared (because I saw them IN the class a few minutes before when I walked past) and walked into the classroom freaking out. Then they jumped out screaming 'Surprise! Happy Teacher's Day!' and then bombarded me with their gifts (tea for a student, cause she knows I love tea! And a nice box of Royce from another) as I stood by stunned, mouth agape. I wanted to strangle all of them, but they were giggling so much that one crazy kid even fell on the floor laughing.
Teaching is definitely not an easy job (especially if you want to do a good job), but for now I can't think of anything else in the world I'd rather be doing.
