As promised though a wee bit late (:

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Nerd Geekson
Once upon a time, there lived Nerd Geekson. Nerd Geekson studied hard and went to Harvard University. In his free time, he would spend hours cooped up in his garage laboratory, attempting to invent a substance that would hold the follicles upon his scalp at the exact 45 degree angle.

He was still working on it. There was just something sorely lacking in his formula.

Nerd Geekson was a nice chap, however he was completely and utterly clueless to reality and lived in his own domain of Geekdom. Even the nerds on campus shunned Nerd Geekson; just that he didn’t care and didn’t pay attention.

However one day as Nerd Geekson was strolling about the gardens on his way home, his face buried in a book of Quantum Physics, he crashed into someone.

As he fell backwards and landed on his ass, he watched the blur of the person he ran into grab his arm and lift him up. As he dusted the dirt off the seat of his pants, the other person spoke up.

“Oh my, I’m soooo sorry!” Nerd Geekson looked up and started to squint, where were his spectacles? Everything was just a blur to him without his other set of eyes.

“Why are you squinting at me? Ewww, pervert!” Nerd Geekson saw a blur of flesh race towards him and seconds later felt the hand of the stranger make contact with his face.

“Oww! I was squinting because I lost my spectacles.” Nerd Geekson rubbed his tingling cheek, “Can you help me find it? All I see are colours.”

“Oh my! I’m sooo sorry. Wait, what are spectacles?” Nerd Geekson got down on all fours and starting running his hands along the gravel path.

“They’re… Oh nevermind, I think I’ve found it.” Nerd Geekson got up and wiped the filmy lenses on his woolly jumper before placing the thick black frame on his nose.

He mouth fell open and saliva started to drip for the corners of his mouth as he scanned his eyes up and down the gorgeous specimen of womankind. A busty blonde girl stood there in front of him, decked out in the all too familiar cheerleader togs of his college.

“Hehehe, that’s sooo gross! Are you alright?” Nerd nodded his head silent, using the back of his palm to wipe the drool off.

“Me? Oh yeah I am.” He started into her eyes; they were as blue as copper (II) sulphate. Her lips, a shade of beautiful burgundy like Bromine gas her skin as white as Magnesium Oxide, what a resplendent figure of beauty!

“Ohh, If you’re fine then I must be going! I have cheerleading practise! See ya!” And with those words goddess pranced off. Nerd didn’t even catch her name.
Nerd Geekson Reached down and grabbed his book of Quantum Physics off the ground, he examined the creased spine carefully before looking in the direction the goddess has disappeared off to. He tucked the book under his arm and continued his journey home.

For the next few days, Nerd Geekson spent more time on campus quietly watching his fellow students and the professors go about, keeping a sharp eye out for the goddess and her flouncing flaxen hair.

Finally on Friday afternoon, exactly 3 days since he had walked smack into the goddess, he spotted her in the distance, wandering about. He quickly got up from his spot under the centuries old oak tree and straightened his bow tie and readjusted his suspenders. He licked his lips and started to walk excitedly towards the goddess.

As she got closer, Nerd Geekson suddenly froze up. The goddess soon waltzed past him, in her own world of happy pink bunnies and candy growing on trees and he caught a whiff of her perfume, ahhh, what a delicate scent!

The perfume went straight to his head and knocked him out of his stupor. He looked about a little dazed when he saw goddess strolling further and further away from him. In desperation, Nerd Geekson ran towards her to keep up.

“Goddess, goddess…” He cried, almost collapsing on the tarmac from his little bit of physical exertion.

“Huh? Oh my! It’s you again!” The goddess stopped and helped Nerd Geekson to his feet.

“Oh thank you… You smell nice” Nerd Geekson looked at his shoes and blushed.

“Really?” Goddess started to giggle, “I didn’t use any deodorant today and I just finished a two hour cheerleading session.”

“Oh, erm, would you like to go for a coffee tomorrow?” Nerd Geekson looked at goddess’s face hopefully.

“Sure! See you at 4 at the Valley Coffee Shop!” And goddess pranced away from Nerd Geekson yet again.

Nerd Geekson floated all the way home on Cloud Nine.

As Nerd Geekson’s feet touched the pavement outside his house (his cloud had slowly vaporised off) he was suddenly stuck with inspiration! He dashed to his laboratory and threw all he required chemicals with the extra missing ingredient together and waited impatiently as the mixture was being heated up on a Bunsen burner.

The instant the mixture boiled Nerd Geekson grabbed it off the fire with his bare hands, the pure anticipation blocking out the pain that was shooting through the nerve receptors in his hands and slathered the piping hot gel upon his scalp.

Unfortunately this time, the pain had caught up with the overtly eager Nerd Geekson and he collapsed on the cemented floor screaming like an MGS girl and clutching his scalp in agony.

The world around him started to darken considerably and fade as he lapsed into a state on unconsciousness.

When he finally woke up it was already night and the pain was almost gone except for a tingly sensation in his scalp.

He got up and excitedly raced inside his house past his surprised parents and ducked into the dimly lit bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror, only to be hit by a way of disappointment as he saw his hair in its usual limp unruly mop of nerdy hair.

He sighed and felt the tears well up, so close yet so far!

He walked out of the bathroom dejectedly and sat himself down at the dinner table.

The next day Nerd Geekson rubbed some ordinary hair gel into his locks and spent an hour examining every aspect of his reflection to ensure that he looked perfect for his date with the Goddess and left his house early for a leisurely stroll to the Valley Coffee Shop for the first date of his entire life.

As he neared the Valley Coffee Shop, Nerd Geekson smelled the scent of freshly roasted coffee beans wafting through the dry autumn air and his taste buds watered in anticipation. Nerd Geekson quickened his pace.

At the same time, Goddess, or Deborah to her parents, was making her way to the Valley Coffee Shop on foot from the Shopping Mall opposite the road.

She examined her nails whilst waiting for the traffic to clear when something pink and glittery caught her eye.

The pink glittery bunny stood in the middle of the road watching her quizzically and cocked its head to one side.

Deborah stood there on the pavement mesmerised by the pink glittery bunny. Just then, the bunny started to hop away!

Aghast, Deborah ran off the pavement and started to chase the little rabbit down the lane, her blonde her flouncing with every step she took, oblivious to the speeding and honking cars around her. Bunny bunny bunny!
Nerd Geekson was just about to enter the Valley Coffee Shop when the sound of screeching tires, excessive honking and yelled expletives caught his attention. He took a step backwards and twisted his body at an angle, not letting go of the doorknob, to see what the commotion was.

To his horror, he saw his goddess running in circles in the middle of the road, arms outstretched as if to catch a pet. Cars swerved in all directions to avoid her and as Nerd Geekson watched, two cars collide amid a flurry of vulgarities from both drivers.

He had to do something! But what? He was Nerd Geekson, loser extraordinaire. He was the guy who was always last to be chosen for a team during Gym, the guy who crumpled under the weight of a medicine ball.

Suddenly he felt energy course through his veins and to his astonishment, biceps, triceps and all sorts of ceps started to grow right before his eyes! His shirt started to strain against the growing muscles before finally ripping at the seams and throwing buttons everywhere.

Nerd Geekson let go of the door and flexed his new found muscles, half admiring his new psyche in the reflection cast by the Coffee Shop’s tinted windows when he finally saw it.

He was so happy that he started to cry as he lifted his hands to touch his hair. It was no mirage; his hair was indeed at a 45 degree angle!

He turned around on the spot and ran off the pavement towards his darling goddess, ignoring the cars around him and scooped her up in his arms despite her vehement protests.

He stretched out his right arm, his hand balled up as if preparing to punch someone, just like he had once seen Superman do in a ‘80s flick. His feet started to lift off the ground and he was soon coursing through the air with goddess in his arms.

Nerd Geekson turned to gaze at his goddess. She sat there in his arms quietly, looking back at him. She had long ago shut up when she noticed that they were airborne, shocked more than anything else.

Nerd Geekson smiled at her and she smiled back shyly.

Nerd Geekson diverted his attention away from Deborah and looked for a suitable landing place and started to descend to the Valley Park.

He gingerly set the goddess down and watched as she brushed some dust off her skirt. She gave him one last smile and turned to walk away into the distance as the sun started to set.

As he watched her walk off, Nerd Geekson smiled to himself as he felt the power sap from his muscles. He knew that he was now a superhero, there to save silly (but pretty) girls from their psychotic trances of pink rodents. He was GELMAN!

Nerd Geekson raised his fist into the air and set off for home.