Tonight I have made the decision to finally come clean about my secret double life: I am a toilet inspector for the WTO (World Toilet Organisation, not World Trade Organisation you dummy!). If case some of you haven't noticed, I use the bathroom often. This is not actually because I have a small bladder, which is the excuse I give when I need to perform my duties. So tonight I shall give my wonderful readers an insight into my area of expertise: bathrooms.

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1st Bathroom: Tanah Merah MRT Station

The first thing I noticed when I enter the bathroom is that it is very small. Already, a queue of 2 women waiting to use the bathroom cubicles has formed. Another thing I notice about the bathroom is that the floor is wet - urgh. When it is finally my turn to enter a cubicle I notice there are only 3 cubicles available. This is unacceptable and must be reported to headquaters. Most surprisingly however, the cubicle contains toilet paper. The floor however, is disgusting. There is also a rather unpleasant smell in the air. Outside in the sink area, soap is available and there is no hand drier.

Rating: 2/5

2nd Bathroom: Bathroom outside Tutorial Rooms, level 2, IB Block

This is a bathroom I used to visit very often and inspect in Year 5 because I had class in one of the tutorial rooms. There are many cubicles here and all of them are stocked with toilet paper. The floor is alsop very clean, and there is a fan which helps keeps the area well ventilated. Once however, the soap that came out of the dispenser stank like unholy heaven. It even looked bad. FAIL. Overall however, this is one of the better bathrooms. It has a nice working hand drier.

Rating: 3.5/5

3rd Bathroom: Basement 1 of Esplanade Theatres on the Bay

This is a really nice looking bathroom. It is also sort of dark. There are many cubicles here, I have yet to see a queue even once even right before big ticket events like the Broken Social Scene concert and the Phantom of the Opera. The cubicles are also well stocked with tissue. Space wise however, the bathroom loses some points. The corridors are narrow with only 1 person able to walk at a time - even in the sink area. Soap however, is always present. As a bonus the bathroom is usually cold with air conditioning and the dispenser for tissues is also automated.

Rating: 4.5/5

4th Bathroom: Wah Chee

This is by far the worst bathroom I have been in so far this year. The floor is wet, there is only one cubicle, and there is no tissue or soap inside. There is also a smell. FAIL FAIL FAIL. Only thing it has going for it is that the toilet can be flushed.

Rating: 0.5/5

5th Bathroom: Starbucks in Holland Village

The bathroom is nicely lit by natural light and the walls are painted in nice earthy tones. Bonus points! The floor is also nice and dry and the toilet looks clean. There is nice smelling soap in the container and paper towels provided for drying hands. There is also no smell to be discerned. Not bad at all.

Rating: 3.5/5

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I hope this exercise has enlightened you on the inner workings of a WTO toilet inspector. Thank you and have a good night!