Singapore - May to July 2022

For the last one and a half months, the girls and I have been back in Singapore. We flew off with Jon and my Mum on 15 May, and arrived on 17 May. It was the worst flight on my life to date, travelling with 2 children, and transiting in LAX. The girls took turns being cranky and upset, and as a result Jon and I got barely any rest during the flight(s), plus I still had to find ways to squeeze in pumping breastmilk/dealing with being engorged and in discomfort. Then trying to schlep all our luggage from the domestic terminal to the international terminal was another ordeal in itself. Luckily the LAX international terminal in itself was pleasant, and the TSA agents there were actually really nice (the best I've experienced so far). Still, it was a total of 25 hours of travelling time (not including the wait from when we left our house in St Louis), and it felt like every single minute of it. 

Anyway I arrived back to Singapore, and within 6 hours was promptly hit by one of the worst colds I've had in my life with a fever and chills. It was shit and I basically spent the whole week out of it, so Jon and I were unable to do many touristy things with the girls. In the end we at least managed to visit the SEA aquarium the Friday afternoon of the following week, just before Jon was due to fly off back home. Jon and I also managed to go out together briefly, without the girls, for lunch on Saturday, which was nice. But in general it was a pretty low key week.

After Jon left, I moved back to my parent's place with E. Before that we had been staying at Mama and Yeh Yeh's place (M had been long sent to the care of my parents and Merlina, because I had physically collapsed so spectacularly after arriving back in Singapore). It took a little time getting used to the schedule of my family again, and we sort of fell into my parent's usual routine:

Mondays are when my Dad has to bring Yeh Yeh and Rosie (their helper) to acupuncture in Toa Payoh. So E and I have been follwing them them, and usally go to the library to wait until my Dad has finished checking Yeh Yeh in, before we have lunch together. On Tuesdays, Ryan has art class so we all go for lunch (M included), and while Ryan has his art class at the Devan Nair Institute, M has a baby spa session where she floats about a small tub with an inflatable tube around her neck. Wednesdays/Thursdays/Fridays the past few weeks have been when E and I either go out for lunch with Uncle KL or Mama. Saturdays are when Ryan has swimming lessons at Clementi, so E and I wander around Clementi central having a snack or going to the library in the interrim, then we have lunch out with my parents. Lastly on Sundays, my Dad goes to church in the mornings, then has to take care of Yeh Yeh from lunch time to mid-afternoon, and so I usually try to follow him out with E when he goes out to buy lunch for all of us. When I have gone out with friends, it's generally been for dinners that start at either 7 or 7:30pm (which feels unfanthomably late to me as the mother of two young children), and after this upcoming weekened, I would have pretty much met everyone that I have aimed to meet. 

On 14 July, in a week's time, I'll be heading off to St Louis with my Dad and the girls. I'm not looking forward to the actual flight back, and am feeling a little anxious about leaving behind this new routine (routines are a salve for my generalised anxiety), but I am looking forward to being back in my own house. The temperature in St Louis however, has been insane the past week, hovering been about 100 to 110 Fahrenheit (which I don't even want to think about in terms of Celcius because it would then make the horror concrete), so I hoping that at least abates a little before we arrives back. Still haven't begun packing yet, but I don't think there will be much to pack. 

'Good' Friday

On Friday last week, while E was in school, I stayed at home with my Mum and did errands. Two of them entailed calling insurance twice, for two different matters. For the second call, which was more specifically regarding my prescriptions, I made it after I picked up E from school. So while E was outside playing on the lawn (and my Mum came out holding M), I paced around studying the growth of my plants while on hold on the phone. Somewhere during this time, I spotted my neighbour Mike, walking his granddog April, and I waved from afar. 

When I was done with the phone call, I glanced at an alert on my phone from KMOV that part of the I-64 East was closed downtown due to a fatal motorcycle accident, mentally shook my head and then put my phone away to continue hanging out with my family outside. It was a nice sunny day, and I was pleased that it seemed like majority of my plants had survived the winter. I was also happy that I had 'adulted' and finished a list of pesky chores that had been outstanding for a while.

That night I tried to go to bed early-ish as usual, but E was up making noise. Her noisemaking, coupled with the need to having to go out and yell at her (too tired and stretched thin for much gentle parenting nowadays unfortunately), made me sleep even later. Just as I came out of the bathroom and was prepared to turn off the lights, my phone lit up with a phone call from Ilse, and immediately my heart quickened. Like most friends, no one calls each other unless an emergency, or something bad has happened. 

I picked up the phone and Ilse told me Randy, our friend Jennifer's ex-husband, had passed away earlier in the day. On a motorcycle accident, on the highway. And I knew right away it was the news alert I had seen at 4pm. We were all in shock. Randy had just taken care of his son, A, for a week. Ilse and her husband Moises had hung out with him while Austin had a playdate with Leo. Ilse and I had been texted about how it had been for her hanging out with Randy, and we were all happy that he seemed to have been getting his shit together to be a good Dad to Austin. And now a week later, Randy was no more.

It's a very strange thing to be mourning the sudden, violent death of a friend's ex-husband. I had a (sort of) front seat to all the self-destructive behaviour that led to the split up between him and Jennifer. He was a huge mess, and I was pissed at his behaviour and its negative impact on Jennifer and A. I was also annoyed that Jennifer seemed to be taking it and enabling him, because she (understandably) did not want her family to be broken up. And this was complicated because on a personal level, self-destructive behaviour aside, Randy was the kind of person that Jon and I get along well with. Our biggest memory with him is watching meme videos (specifically Cat Vibing to Home Depot song) together after Christmas Dinner in 2020. At the same time he seemed on the mend, and of course Jennifer and A loved him dearly. Humans always have a chance to reform and turn things around, and it seemed like he was. 

-----

As a bystander and somewhat participant, I feel a bit like Nick Carraway in The Great Gatsby, watching things at they unfolded before me. It all started last year with the motorcycle. In the latest iteration of a round of self-sabotaging behaviour (and to be fair, the only one I experienced), Randy decided to spend the money that they had saved for the down payment of a house on a motorcycle. 

More terrible behaviour soon followed, and I heard about it all as the marriage became more unsalvagable with every new thing. As Jennifer prepared to leave, Randy managed to fall off his newly purchased motorcycle and hurt himself slightly. We shook our heads and said that motorcycle would be the death of him. I told Lynne and Mike about it, because I hang out with Lynne and we frequently commiserate about things. Mike (which I why I mentioned him early), said something pithy about how dangerous motorcycles are, something along the lines of hoping he had good life insurance, which made me laugh at the time. 

Memorial Day weekend 2021, Jennifer and Austin drove with another friend of her's and a U-Haul trailer to Houston. I had made a big pile of cookies, per her request, for the trip. It was a mixture of chocolate chip cookies and double chocolate mint chip cookies. 

Finally, the accident which happened last Friday, now brings the whole story full circle. That motorcycle, really was the undoing of Randy. While on the I-64 by the Busch stadium, he hit a trailer being pulled by a truck and was flung off his motorcycle. I can only hope that he did not suffer. 

It probably speaks to how long my brain has atrophied as a stay at home mother that I cannot remember the exact literary device to describe the role of the motorcycle in all of this. And I cannot help but also wonder is it insensitive to even think about such a real human tragedy in literary terms. 

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Right after I got the call from Ilse, I left the bedroom and went downstairs to tell Jon. As we ran through different gamuts of emotions (mine undoubtedly containing a lot more shock and anger), we had a shot of whiskey. It was my first drink in more than a year. That night, both Jon and I slept terribly. It's hard for me to elucidate on quite how numb and how complicated all my emotions felt that night. 72 hours has elapsed since I received that call, and the constant thoughts and worrying about all 3 of the has finally receded into a dull worry.

The worst thing about any human tragedy like this is always the impact on the loved ones that have been left behind.

Fussy Baby

One of the best sensations in the world is feeling the hair on top of a baby's head rest against your cheek. Another one is seeing a baby smile contentedly as it drifts off to sleep after drinking it's fill of milk. Last night M was the fussiest she has ever been since she was born over 2 months ago, and so it was a trying night. Still, I am thankful for the little things, and thankful that overall she is far less fussy than E ever was.

World Events

One of my biggest memories during my first postpartum fog after the birth of E was sitting in front of the TV in my grandparent's dining room, watching the HK protestors storm the Legislative Council. It felt absolutely surreal to think of the world marching on and world history unfolding as I sat in my weird bubble/fog of postpartum depression. And yet there I sat, watching protestors climb over tables and lecterns, and spray painting things on the wooden paneling. All I could think of was, "Oh my goodness" and "WTF". 

When I first had a baby, it felt like the world immediately contracted to just me and whoever was in the house, even though logically I knew that was not the case. I felt like I was on an island, cut off from everything and helpless in the face of the world. Taking even a walk outside without the baby felt taboo, and verboten, even though my anxiety was screaming at me to literally just bolt out the door and get as far away as possible from my baby. Now I don't know how often this negative feeling is experienced by other new mothers, but that's how I felt then in 2019, and how I felt again recently just a few weeks ago.

Well last week I definitely experienced that weird feeling again about being postpartum, and world events. I was up at 1am pumping again after taking care of M, and that's when I found out Russia had invaded Ukraine. It didn't feel real, even though Putin had been sabre-rattling for quite a while prior. Unfortunately 5 days into the conflict, things have becoming more and more real to my addled mind. When I saw an article about a Ukrainian woman having to give birth in a subway while sheltering from bombing, my stress levels immediately went though the roof. 

Anyway all I can say is, Russian Warship, Go Fuck Yourself.

Schedule at 4 Weeks + 1 Day Old

My daily schedule currently looks like this:

10am - Wake up, pump, eat breakfast

Early afternoon - Lunch, go out (sometimes)

Mid afternoon - Quick walk around the neighbourhood, pump

5:30pm - Shower

6pm - Dinner (though the past few days, these have all inched later by 15 to 30 mins)

6:30pm - Pump

7pm - Go to bed

7:30pm - Switch off lights, try to sleep

11:30pm to 12:30am (time varies) - Get woken up by crying M, feed, put to sleep. Pump and eat. Go and lie down and try to sleep for an hour

2 hours from putting M down (repeats at 2 hour intervals, ex. 1am, 3am, 5am) - Get woken up by crying M, feed, put to sleep, change a diaper somewhere around 1 or 3am. Go back to sleep for a bit.

If it's the 5am or 6am feed - Pump and eat

6:30am - My Mum gets up and takes over responsibility for M; I go to sleep

Next week however, I need to send E to school at 8:30am on Tuesday and Friday, so that throws the schedule into disarray. And given that my anxiety is barely held at bay by this schedule, I'm really not looking forward to this change. Still, it's good that E's school has been able to take her now for Monday, Tuesday, and Friday until 3:30pm, which gives my Mum and I some respite at home. 

M turned 4 weeks yesterday, and will be 1 month old in 2 days on the 24th. 

Postpartum Songs

 After I first had E, the song that kept playing in my head was You Can Call Me Al by Paul Simon. I was going through the throes of postpartum anxiety and depression without being aware of it, and something about the song just struck a chord in me. To me the song made me think of being a middle-aged adult, going through a midlife crisis, being dissatisfied and wondering wtf is going on with their life.

In contrast, the song that kept playing throughout my head during the labour and postpartum period of M, is Chop Suey! by System of a Down. The sheer anger, pain, and desperation in the song echo my current darkest emotions as I go through the whole rigmarole of postpartum whatsit yet again. At night when I can't sleep, because I need to take care of M (who is generally up every 1-2 hours), the biblical portion of the lyrics replay over and over in my head.

-----

Today my in-laws left STL. M is also 3 weeks old. Although my Mum is here, I can't help but feel anxious at the change. Thankfully I am mentally in a better place now than a week ago (which is when my in-laws were originally slated to leave), but I still have a long way to go before I feel comfortable in my own body again.

6 Days Postpartum

I gave birth to baby M at 12:43am, just past midnight on the 24th Jan. The induction was slow and hard, as my GERD acted up and I got a headache. Then right after delivering the placenta, I suffered a hemorrhage. At one point there were something like 12+ medical staff all running around the room doing things, and I lay there just resigned and depleted. Didn't get a chance to hold M until much later. The next day was hard too, as I had a bakri balloon and a catheter in me, and I was pretty miserable. I couldn't sit up without getting a headache after long, and I felt nauseous. 

Anyway, I was happy to be discharged in the late afternoon of 25th Jan after several blood tests came back OK. Except right before we were about to leave, we found out the hot water heater died and it was minus 10 degrees celcius that day. 

Today is now the 6th day of M's life. I am trying to take things day by day and not think too much. Been in contact with my psych, and at least I'm a lot more aware of my emotions and physical feelings now, vs my first birth with E. I'm a mess of hormones and disrupted sleep. Thank God for Jon and my in-laws who are here to help, especially with the first 2 weeks which are known to always be hellish. E provides some comfort too, though obviously she adds to everyone's exhaustion as well. 

Everyone else has gone out today, leaving just M and me at home. It feels kind of nice, because I don't feel great today and am relishing the momentary peace (though an hour later I might start to feel lonely).

39 Weeks 1 Day

I must have gotten a grand total of 2h combined sleep last night. It's currently just past 7am, and I'll probably try to go sleep again in a bit. Last night I couldn't sleep from combined anxiety, hormones, E having nightmares, and general pregnancy pains/discomfort. Luckily so far nights like this one have been relatively few and far between this time. 

I have an elective induction scheduled for today, but I'm worried it'll be postponed again (was meant to be yesterday evening). I'm both anxious and excited for baby M to come - and I'd really like to be able to have some deep rest again.

Nice Weather in Jan

For the past 2 days my in laws have been both dropping off and picking E up at school, because I've been too tired and having weird upper abdominal cramps. Currently 37 weeks and 5 days pregnant today. After lunch I went for a short walk with E, and mistakenly let her wear her rain boots, which of course kept falling off her feet. We ended up not making it very far (down to Lynne's yard), when I got tired from all the standing around waiting for E to fix her boots. Still, it was a nice day to be out even for a little bit - 12 degrees Celsius, sunny and no wind. I only wish I had more energy to bring E to the park or go for a longer walk.

37 Weeks

I am currently 37 weeks pregnant, and have never been this pregnant in my life before (E was born at 36 weeks and 5 days). Several things in my body hurt and are uncomfortable, but nothing beyond the unexpected. This week has been absurdly cold in STL, but with only the tiniest sprinkling of snow, and no additional snowfall in sight.

2021 in Retrospect

I was texting my Mum earlier this night when she mentioned that this last year was an pretty uneventful and boring one for her, apart from my Yeh Yeh getting severely injured and semi-paralysed in an accident. Unlike her 2021 however, mine has had quite a few significant events/milestones. Off the top of my head, these are:-

1. Getting pregnant for the 2nd time, and dealing with the terrible 1st trimester and not-very-good first half of a 3rd trimester (currently 36 weeks pregnant)

2. E attending school for the first time

3. E becoming verbal and becoming a veritable chatterbox

4. Saffron passing away

5. Learning how to crochet (currently working on my 2nd blanket project right now)

Overall it has felt like a year of many changes. A friend moved away to Texas, and I lost touch with another one after she had her 2nd kid - and these were people that played a significant part of my day-to-day life for almost a year. I also re-did the garden in the back area of our house, where the bush honeysuckle used to grow wild, plus did other gardening projects around our property, like the area under the stop sign. Jon and I also planted 2 more trees, a redbud and a serviceberry, bring the total number of trees on our property to 14 (I think, at least this is the number I recall when I last counted).

As the year closes, I am thankful that my pregnancy has been able to progress thus far, and that we have my in-laws visiting with us. They flew in late on the 21st Dec, and have been an immense help. Covid-19 has meant that we haven't physically been able to be with any family for almost 2 years, which was tough especially when I was very sick in the first trimester. Watching E being able to interact with one set of her grandparents makes me very happy. At the same time, it's also very reassuring to have them around to watch E when I need to deliver kiddo #2. Although I am currently in pain and discomfort every day lately, I am generally pretty happy and appreciative of my current lot in life. I am however, feeling apprehensive at what challenges 2022 will bring, especially with how Covid-19 might still hang like a spectre over daily life.

Tornadoes in December

About a week and a half ago on the 10th Dec, the tornado sirens went off just as Jon, E and I clambered out of the shower/bathroom. We had been lounging around after dinner, somewhat aware that there was bad weather coming (I had even told Jon to try and get home early), but didn't spring into action until we suddenly heard the sound of thunder in the distance and rushed to bathe. I had E with me in the shower as usual, and Jon did some half-shower thing in the bathtub. 

Just as we were getting changed, the sirens went off. It was a good coincidence I had heard the emergency sirens earlier in the week on Monday, when they were doing their monthly testing, so the sound and associated was fresh in my mind. Needless to say however, when the sirens went off, mild panic and cursing ensued. E's footie pyjamas somehow became some Escher-esque creation, and I was yelling for Jon to go find our phones and see what the emergency alert said. We ended up gathering a few things, heading to the lower level, and seeing what the local news said, prepped to run into the basement if necessary. 

While E whined for us to play Blippi, we watched KMOV to track where the tornadoes were going. Around 8:50pm, another siren went off. By 9:20pm however, the coast seemed clear enough. The tornadoes were heading across the river into IL (where it would later take out an Amazon warehouse and kill the workers there ): ), and we were tired. We went to bed, and right around 10pm, a third siren went off. Jon started grumbling, and I grabbed E (who was still in her sleep sack), and brought her downstairs to the basement. Jon came down shortly after, and as I watched KMOV on my phone, he played chess on his phone while E made a 'bridge' out of some plastic toy tiles we had in the basement. By that time, news of the warehouse collapse had hit the news. In a really bleak coincidence just as I was watching the news, the Amazon app on my phone sent me alerts that a book I ordered for E a few days ago had just been dispatched from the Amazon warehouse, yikes. 

Finally around 10:35pm, the coast seemed clear again and we all left the basement to go to sleep. My anxious heart wouldn't let me settle down to sleep until at least an hour later, and I still kept checking the news. It was an interesting night, and not something I'd like to experience again any time soon, even though we were lucky that nothing happened to us, our property, or our friends.

Christmas Baking

Last year I made a whole bunch of Peanut Butter Blossom cookies for my neighbours, friends + Jon's work - and I also learned what a bloody hassle they are to make because they require several steps and still contain a 15% failure rate of the Hershey's kisses not sticking. This year I decided to make an easier combination of Chocolate Chip and Walnut cookies, Double Chocolate Mint Chip cookies, and Blueberry Corn muffins for my neighbours. For those with younger kids, I gave the more regular Chocolate Chip cookies, for the neighbours with older kids/just adults, I gave the Double Chocolate Mint Chip cookies, and for the older folk/more health conscious lot, I gave the muffins. In total over the last 7 days I baked for 3 rounds, and did 2 rounds of distribution. While less efficient than last year, I think this route proved to be a lot less stressful, especially today when I could just drop off the last round of cookies without a toddler in tow. 

Anyway for this season I baked at least: 

• 102 Chocolate Chip Cookies
• 22 Blueberry Corn Muffins
• 72 Double Chocolate Chip Cookies

I thought I'd be done baking after accounting for all my neighbours, but some of the staff at Jon's work gave him a small baby shower gift for #2. Hence, I'll be baking yet another round tomorrow of Double Chocolate Chip cookies, since I definitely overbought Andes mint chips. 

Another Friday

Today I am 32 weeks pregnant. For the past few weeks I've been back to cross-stitching again, and making the requisite multiple visits to Michaels. So far I've gone to the one in Des Peres multiple times, the one in Chesterfield Valley twice, and today once to the one in Brentwood. The Brentwood one used to be the one I'd go to when we first moved to St Louis, because it was the closest one to our apartment, but today I was struck by how awful it was compared to the others. The down escalator wasn't working (which seemed to be more than half the time I patronised that branch), and the shelves were pretty empty. I couldn't get everything that I wanted to get, so I foresee yet another Michaels visit occurring soon, unless the 2 purple threads I bought today are sufficient to fill up the pattern of a Christmas tree ornament that I'm making. 

The down escalator being out of action proved very problematic for me today, because I had to handle E on that (and the up one too), while holding a shopping basket. At one point E was climbing me like a monkey (because she was scared), and I had to grab her with one hand while holding on the shopping basket with the other, as I prayed for us to not topple off the moving upwards escalator. At least on the trip down the broken down escalator, a nice woman passing by helped me carry my shopping basket to the bottom. While there was a lift, E didn't want to get into it, sigh. 

Anyway we only went to that Michaels because we were in the area, and I thought I could make a quick trip to Nordstrom Rack to see if they had any toddler shoes for sale. We had driven Eastwards from home (as opposed to South or West, which seems to be our usual direction now) because today E was finally given a slot for her flu shot, and her doctor is located in the Ladue/Clayton border. So after that quick visit (where E didn't cry! I was impressed), I drove to Brentwood. Nordstrom Rack also turned out to be a bit of a bust. While I did manage to get a pair of shoes for E that she really wanted, they are more like Toms than sneakers. We tried on another pair of size 7 toddler sneakers there, but they were too big and E was vehement that she "(didn't) want it" and "it's for other kids". I guess she's in between size 6 and size 7 now, which is a huge pain in the bum because thick socks then make her other shoes feel too tight, and then she doesn't want to wear them. 

After Michaels and Nordstrom Rack, we headed to the Mid-County branch of the library. This was the first library in the area that we visited, again when we lived in the area. The last time I brought E there, she was still crawling and it was before Covid-19. This library is constructed with a basement carpark, and I guess it was the first time E has really been in a basement carpark, because she was scared. This kind of blows my mind a little because growing up in SG, more than half of carparks are dark indoor/basementy things. It's the same thing with escalators and lifts for E - growing up thus far in St Louis, she is utterly unused to them (though at least these 2 I've been more aware of). We spent close to an hour in the library, with maybe 5 minutes of me being able to browse the adult section, about 10 minutes of us making paper snowflakes in the lobby at the craft table, and the rest in the kid's section where she played with the light table that had resin blocks with things like fish and leaves floating in them, the computers with kiddy programs, and a Little Tykes Farm Stand toy thingamajig. When she started throwing the soft blocks around 12:45pm, that was our cue to leave. Plus I was getting hungry.

Lunch was at Mod Pizza, across the road from E's doctor. For the first time, I ordered a pizza just for E. It was basically a plain cheese pizza with copious amounts of pineapple on it. The guy making the pizza was very charmed by E. She ended up eating mainly just the toppings (as in, plus cheese), but towards the end just picked off all the pineapple. In retrospect I wonder if I should have ordered everything she likes on a pizza, which would have been pineapple, olives, and mushrooms. Now that sounds like an awful combo to me, but those are her favourite things. Maybe ask them to add pickles on it too. We ate there because it wasn't too busy, which was nice, as I can't quite recall the last time the two of us ate out alone. It reminded me a little of how I used to always have lunch with my Mum on Saturdays, though that was when I was a lot older. 

Driving home, the idea of ice cream suddenly popped into my head, so we made a detour to McDonald's. I went through the drive-thru and got a vanilla cone for us to share, and it came to $1.60+ with tax, which made me think of how it used to cost 50 cents as a special when I was in Pri/Sec school. I parked the car in the lot there, and E and I shared the ice cream. It felt like a very nice moment with just the two of us, something of course that will become very rare when number #2 comes along. 

I am simultaneously looking forward to the birth of number #2, seeing how E will be with a companion, and who number #2 will develop into becoming. At the same time however, I am apprehensive at how I'll handle 2 kids, and feeling a little sad that it will no longer just be E and I on our jaunts around St Louis. Still, come late Dec, our lives will be thrown into upheaval anyway when my in-laws come to visit for Christmas and to help out with the birth of #2. In early Feb just before they leave, my Mum will fly up from SG to help out too. I am glad to see all of them, as we haven't seen either side since late 2019, but again there's that twinge of feeling nostalgic when things were just E and I together. 

E Speak

Words she has invented recently (about a month ago): 1) Spigus 2) Gavelle 

Also E speak: Come Together by the Beatles is also called "the people song", because I showed her a music video of Come Together, with stylized animated Beatles. 

And today over breakfast E suddenly started talking about Halloween. She said, "I was Abby and Mummy was a pumpkin". Jon didn't dress up this year, so I decided to ask her what Daddy was, and she immediately replied, "a jacket". I burst out laughing, and then she continued, "Daddy was a sweater."

Come Together

E has a new favourite song - Come Together by the Beatles. Another song she likes, but not as much as Come Together, is Take Me Home Tonight by Eddie Money. Again, both songs are courtesy of 103.3 FM. This comes as a slight relief, as the other day That's All by Genesis came on when I was driving by myself, and I had to change the radio station. And I actually like That's All, I'm just sick of listening to it. 

Today I'm 28 weeks and 6 days pregnant. I went to Walmart earlier with E, namely to return some winter jackets to the store, but of course ended up walking around. At the end of that, I felt (and still feel) utterly exhausted. I've been napping almost every day too. The main perk at least of having a toddler and being pregnant is that I can sometimes get her to clean up after herself (usually about a 70% rate), and I can ask her to pick things up from the floor for me, because I can't breathe and bend down at the same time anymore (though this is not new, it's been at least a month since I noticed this).

In other news, although Jon and I decided to hire someone to do the leaf cleanup this year, I thought I could save money on the first round of leaf pick up by the city by cleaning up some of the leaves myself. This was because at the beginning of the week, only our side yard had leaves all over, and leaf pick up is next week. So I spent yesterday blowing leaves with the leaf blower for an hour while E napped. Today however, all the leaves are on the ground again. It's almost as if I didn't even do anything yesterday. D'oh. I'm not going to bother for now though, far too tired to do anything about it. Plus the laundry I didn't do yesterday needs to be done today. 

New Favourite Song

E's new favourite song is That's All by Genesis. She also calls it 'That Song'. Either way, about a week ago when I was driving around with her, it came on the radio and she started chiming along whenever the chorus got to 'That's All', which I thought was very cute and funny. 

I just realised that I didn't write anything the whole of October. Jon was off for a week, but still ended up doing a lot of work from home. During his down time we were able to go apple picking/pumpkin picking at Braeutigam Orchards, visit Boo at the Zoo and go to Pumpkinland at Theis Farm with some friends. In October we also had another playdate with a colleague of Jon's, went to Suson Park to see the farm animals again, and took family photos at Forest Park. And of course just a few days ago, we celebrated Halloween with the rest of our neighbourhood. This was the table I set up for our trick-or-treaters:

E was dressed as Abby, and I had an orange maternity t-shirt with a pumpkin face on the belly area. At the end of the night, I was so exhausted and felt so sore from all the walking. The soreness persisted throughout yesterday as well. 

On a separate note, I'm currently 27 weeks and 4 days pregnant. The general pregnancy fatigue from being large, and bad quality of sleep is starting to kick in now. At least I got to enjoy my 2nd trimester (meaning, I didn't really notice how being pregnant affected my daily life/functioning). I'm currently on the hunt for a cheap winter jacket, because I can't zip up any of my existing jackets, and the weather here suddenly became very chilly.

Man Plans and God Laughs

Yesterday I wrote about the things I had done and scheduled for the rest of the week. Well, as I write this now less than 24 hours, part of that plan for today has been all shot to hell. I was ushering E into the car when I tried to open the garage door and it suddenly gave a very loud KLUNK as it got stuck sideways. After some swearing (E has now learned the F-word), I determined that the cable on one of the sides of the garage door had completely rusted through, and that I need a garage door technician to come fix it. 

Anyway I managed to get hold of someone who came immediately, and he is currently working in the garage as I type this, so maybe our schedule today hasn't been entirely shot to hell. Which is a bit of a relief because I haven't seen Ilse in about 2 months, and seeing as she is heavily pregnant now, might not be able to see her for a while afterwards.

As an aside, I'm pretty relieved that E didn't put up too much of a fuss at the change in plans. I had told her yesterday that we were going to the gym today, and as I was getting her out of the house earlier had mentioned the gym. She seems to have understood that something was wrong with the garage door, and the little angry walk we took after seems to have placated her (and me, as we ran into some close neighbours and were able to vent).

Household Manager 101

This week has been (and will be) a little unusual, with some deviations from our usual routine. A fire truck will be visiting her school on Friday morning, on a day that E usually doesn't attend school, and I wanted to bring her/see the fire truck for myself. This means changing her usual Friday morning gym class to another day. Anyway, as I was trying to figure out how to juggle the fixed appointments with household errands like grocery shopping, it suddenly occurred to me that I'm almost like E's personal assistant. Throw in the fact that I also need to figure out schedules of things like when to grocery shop (how to best straddle the availability of time with freshness and availability of certain foodstuffs at home), it dawned on me that I was managing the whole household. Now, I don't know why this felt like a sudden revelation, because Jon always thanks for me organizing the household and getting things all lined up nicely, but it felt like one. It also makes me wonder how the hell working mothers to do, because I already feel like things are super jumbled up in my mind unless I write them down (which is getting stupidly difficult to do because we had to hide all the writing implements, paper, and post-its from a rampaging toddler).

Monday - 27 Sept

Dropped E off at school, and came home and napped for a short while. After I picked her up from school, we went to the library because I wanted to borrow baby name books for #2. Although Jon and I have already discussed names and settled on a default, I want to make sure I'm not missing any other good options. Anyway at the library, E had a blast playing with the magna tiles, the insects in resin blocks, and the computers. Then we headed home after I pried her off the computers, and we had random chicken nuggets for lunch. 

While E napped, I cleaned up her play area. I swapped out some of her toys for 'fresh' ones, and did the same for her bookshelf. Then I tossed all the dead houseplants around the house (of which there were many!) When she woke up from her nap, we had a small snack before going for a walk around the neighbourhood, since we were going to have leftovers and I didn't need to cook. We ended up running into quite a few neighbours, and spent an inordinate amount of time standing in the yard of one of our neighbours that had already put their spider Halloween decorations up, because E liked the spiders a lot. 

Before Jon came home, I called my Mum for a short while to say Hi. Then Jon came back and we ate. Not much else interesting happened after that. After E went to bed I read upstairs.

Tuesday - 28 Sept

Dropped E off at school, and came home to do translation of some Chinese books that I had purchased for E. I continued to pick up around the house, and then the cleaners came. After a while (half chased out by cleaning bleach fumes, half from not wanting to be in their way), I went outside and started trimming the boxwood shrubs outside the house. While halfway doing that, I got a call from the plumbers that someone was on the way. I continued working until he got there, which was at least an hour of work outside. By the end, I was having trouble gripping anything/doing the pincer movement with my left hand. Anyway, when the plumber arrived, I took it as a cue for me to stop. The plumber, Donny, managed to fix the problem rather quickly, but ended up finishing at a awkward time close to when I needed to go pick up E. Throw in packing up and writing a receipt, I ended up racing to go pick up E and arrived 12 minutes late. I felt pretty bad about that, but luckily E's school was understanding. 

After that we went to Dierbergs, to take advantage of the $5 Tuesday Sushi deals, and picked up some ham, cheese, brownies, and ice cream. We ate right when we got home, and then we called my In-Laws, for them to chat to E as she played. When we finished chatting, I went upstairs to take a shower because I felt sticky from all the yard work. Later, after putting E down for a nap, I took a nap too. I originally set an alarm, but I managed to turn that off because I was so tired, and ended up waking up close to 4:45pm. Luckily we still have leftovers of beef stew, so at least I didn't feel pressed for time. When E woke up, I called my parents and spoke to them until Jon came home.

I finished reading the book I had been reading last night. 

Wednesday - 29 Sept

Today after I dropped E off at school, I came home and napped. I cleaned up a little around the house, and started the whole process of mid-week laundry. Then I went to pick up E. While picking her up, I realised I had left my phone at home, and so ended up immediately returning home to fetch it. Then we went to a nearby playground, and while E played (it was empty and small-sized), I looked through one of the baby name books that I had borrowed. When she was all played-out (and I was coincidentally done with that book), we went to Aldi to get the weekly groceries. I had also used the time at the playground to mentally plan what food to cook for the rest of this week, while ensuring that we used up all of our leftovers.

After getting home, I made a tomato, ham, and cheese omelette for the both of us to share. Then she played outside with her water gun for a short while, and I finally put her down for a nap, and hopped on the computer to start typing all of this out. I still have to: 1) finish the laundry, 2) pay the lawn mower guy (if he comes today), 3) finish going through the other baby name book. Tonight will be leftovers again, the final batch of beef stew with homemade bread that I made last week Friday. Boring, but makes my life and budget easier. 

Thursday - 30 Sept

• Rescheduled toddler gym class: 10am
• Kill time/figure out lunch: 10:45-11:45am
• Go to Ilse's place for a long-overdue playdate with Leo: 11:45am
• Leave for home for naptime: 2pm
• Pizza leftovers for dinner? + salad from Aldi

Friday - 1 Oct

• Arrive at E's school to see the fire truck: 10:30am
• Visit Hartke Nursery to spend Hartke Bucks (Oct only)
• Lunch?
• Hang out with Lynne, if weather permits
• Naptime
• Tilapia for dinner - sides?

Saturday - 2 Oct

• Dinner with Adem's family (Jon's colleagues)
• Get more mulch (can be Sunday too)

Sunday - 3 Oct

• Make Chili con Carne for dinner

Gardening Again

In the last week I started gardening again. I also started visiting plant nurseries again. Within a week, I have managed to visit all my favourite plant spots: Sugar Creek Nursery, Dauster's Greenhouse, the Kirkwood Farmer's Market, OK Hatchery, Rolling Ridge, Maypop, Greenscape Gardens, Lowe's and lastly Hartke Nursery. To my disappointment, the Kirkwood Farmer's Market didn't have a lot, and OK Hatchery wasn't selling many plants either (though this is normal for them). Anyway during the last week, I've also racked up at least 7 hours of gardening, and have acquired a light sock tan again.

I figure I don't have much time to get all the gardening I want done, mainly because I will soon become too big to bend down properly. That being said, at 20 weeks+ pregnant, I still feel remarkably small thanks to all the weight I lost in the first trimester. I've only just started gaining weight, and only exceeded my pre-pregnancy weight about a week ago.