Big Five Word Test Results

Extroversion (67%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity. Accommodation (78%) high which suggests you are overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense too often of your own individual development (martyr complex). Orderliness (44%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, random, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of structure, reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Emotional Stability (35%) moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious. Inquisitiveness (70%) high which suggests you are very intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.

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personality tests by similarminds.com

I'm pretty sure somewhere down the line I've already taken this test, but here goes again.

31st August - Teacher's Day. In the morning after getting some really crappy nuclear waste looking pandan cake from one of the titbit stores, I followed Joash to the staff room and there I was kind of surprised when I saw literally no one giving gifts, save this lower sec Indian boy giving out cookie-looking stuff to teachers :x

I decided there and then I would just keep the chocolates my mother bought last night instead of giving them out to teachers since literally no one else was giving gifts! So surreal. At MGS around that time, the whole staff room and the outside would be literally flooded with students and there'd be hardly any place to move. The staff room would also be elaborately decorated according to some theme which would be the same as the president's challenge (last year was a mix, Ianthe was supposed to be futuristic and mine was retro). In comparison teacher's day is so much more dull here, though I must admit having half-naked, gold-painted boys act as Oscars was quite the raunchy touch.

Anyway Nic, Chun Wui and I had to leave the celebrations early to supposedly set up everything for the Teachers' Day lunch because we were supposed to DJ. The sound system there was )*$@&$^! and when I first used the mic to dedicate a song, the feedback was horrible and I had to go really far away just to speak and even then it went BOOMBOOMBOOM. Argh damn loud.

For most of the part I had a great time there, managed to play the songs Daryl asked me to play for the Sirs, and played I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts for Sir Reverse Weeaboo (and he enjoyed it immensely! [The insufferable ham, can't understand why people don't like him, he amuses me to no end.]) and Rasputin for WTY. After most of the teachers left, Nic and I had a go at the spread, and there were lots of leftovers. Then we headed home and my daily migraine started again.

I feel really sick and achy today.

School killz.

Blah I hate being sickly.

Maybe I'll die young from one sickness or another.

Ohohoho.

Oh my Philippe Brenninkmeyer from House of Harmony looks like the sexy Irishman.

I am amused.

Oh my. There are so many films out now that I really want to see!

It's irritating how there's hardly anything online about them at all. Grrr. IMDB fails when it comes to such films, but there has to be some entry about Glitter, the Mariah Carey overblown sappy music video masquerading as a movie. Pshaw. It's probably as bad as the upcoming Bratz the movie, how bad can a name get? It's like people overusing the derogatory word 'Bitch' till it loses it's original scathing meaning.

Okay I totally digress.

Anyway yes! First of, tonight Arts Central is showing House of Harmony! SHIT. So er, do work or watch movie. Damnit. Then next the lineup for the Sept holidays is most impressive, but why why why do the board of censors have to make Jesus Camp M18? Similarly, The Home Song Stories is M18 as well. Goodness, there's worse stuff available on the internet and you want to ban me from such a film?! Idiots. I've probably seem more sexually deviant stuff, thanks to trawling the dark deep pit that is the internet, than 90% of the world's population (or am I giving too nice an estimate?) and I can't watch a film? Grwargh. Nevermind, one way or another I am going to watch it HAH (er, provided I have enough free time from studying).

There's also Ghosts, which was a nightmare to google up thanks to the 1990 movie with Demi Moore of the same name about the Morecambe Bay incident in England and lastly The Willow Tree which is showing at The Picturehouse. So many movies, so little time ):

And beginning of the year, when I wanted to watch a movie, it was nothing but crap at the cinemas. The only good thing I remember watching was Sun Yat Fai Lok, which I watched as a dvd at home (well okay there was Harry Potter but that is so not a film and La Vie En Rose which I also missed because I was busy >.< Okay enough gushing about films!

Today after bringing Lauren to Bugis to shop, en route to City Hall, we stopped at Bras Bersah and I went off to dig through the bookstores, and boy was it frustrating trying to look for anything Japan-WWII related. There was literally nothing on the subject, save for the lone Rape of Nanking I saw, which I already had anyway. Believe me: I tried my best to search for anything for my EE. There are a ton and a half stuff about Nazi Germany, Communist Russia, Communist China, a little about Italy and everything else was literally zilch. Frustrating >.< Oh man House of Harmony is starting soon. Er. Okay hope Econs commentary is not due tomorrow.

Tree-Nation, an interesting concept I must say.

In the meanwhile:
1) Bad headache is bad
2) Marxist view on the cause of WWII is like... ARGH. How can I debate tomorrow if I don't believe what I'm going to say?!
3) God's toilet bowl showed up during noon today, and He finally flushed it this evening as it poured like hell (hurr pun). I took a picture of it on my phone, but I have no idea how the get it out. I think I also killed my eyes looking at it, because for a while after my left eye had a bleached world and the right one a rose coloured world.

I love my daddy muchly (:

OH SHIT I LOST MY HTML CODE :x

Later: Please don't ask. I'm working on it!

Today has been quite a good day, a much needed change from the past few days when my moods have been erratic and bounced all over the place and bleed out affected the people around me :/ While it's too early to say if this episode is well and truly over, I'd like to think that today has been a much needed break at least.

After school I took a train from Dover to Raffles Place to meet Lauren at Mallal & Namazie. On the train there, an old woman boarded at Commonwealth Station, only to find the entire carriage full. She ended up standing next me as the train started and I was kind of annoyed no one gave up their seat for her. However this has a happy ending as by the next stop, a young woman looked up and saw her and gave up her seat.

After getting off at Raffles Place, I walked the same route I had used hundreds of times before (okay well maybe 100+) when I was working there earlier this year, just surveying how fast the place had changed. New tenants had occupied old spaces, dusty areas under construction were turned into shiny new gourmet coffee shops and half of lau pa sat was being renovated.

At the traffic junction, as I waited for the lights to change, the most annoying woman stood within earshot. Across the road there were tv cameras and some news anchor of sorts interviewing people. This woman/kid was with two Caucasians, a male and a female. Now please picture the whiniest, most high pitched voice ever, then add a fake accent to it.

Woman: "OH MY GOD LOOK THERE! THERE'S TV!"
Man: "Oh yeah."
Woman: "I WONDER WHAT THEY'RE DOING HERE!!!"
Woman: "OH MY GOD THAT'S MY COLLEAGUE!!! HOW COME SHE'S BEING INTERVIEWED?"
and the like.

Wtf. My faced was literally -________- as I did my best to not get annoyed at her. ARGH BIMBO, worse, she had such a jarring voice. When I finally caught sight of her, she was wearing an off shoulder white top and had a mini denim skirt on. What kind of idiot wears that to work?! The two Caucasians were wearing business suits.

Afterwards, Lauren and I took a bus to Chinatown and spent the rest of the time wandering about, shopping and around 5:30 we boarded 961 to go home.

For dinner my grandma prepared a really nice steak dinner because she knew I was coming. I felt quite touched when I found out, because she knows I love my beef :D and those steaks would have cost a pretty penny. I was also talking to Lauren and she was telling me how the family (meaning my extended one from the grandmother) was already planning for my education, meaning they were making provisions to put me through college, overseas. They all knew that a mother like mine wouldn't do dick shit for my education (and beginning of this year she told me she had no money to send me to university despite the massive amounts of money she spends on clothes every month!). My father has been saving too, by himself apparently, something he told me a few weeks ago. He says he has enough to put me through university in Singapore at least.

At the end of the day it isn't so much about the money, but the fact that all my relatives love me and care for me enough to be willing to sacrifice money to allow me to pursue my dreams, and goodness knows education overseas isn't cheap. All this just brings out the glaring point about how selfish my mother is, she's my parent but she doesn't care enough to sacrifice the monetary funds for my education.

I always lament about how dysfunctional, yet lovable my family is, but this really proves at the end of the day that they will always look out for me and love me, no matter what, even if those who are supposed to, don't.

She has come out.

Don't trust me anymore.

A loster lobster went for a walk one day.

Outside life went about passingly but loster lobster just got more lost, and the more loster lobster walked the deeper it fell into lostness and then it suddenly found it couldn't get out anymore. Then a sea faerie appeared and promised to save loster lobster.

"Dear loster lobster, you have lived your life being lost and never found. Your only way out of this is to either lose your shell or to lose your heart, only then you will be found."

Loster lobster thought long and hard, either way it was screwed, for it could not live without the other. It could try going deeper into lostness, but it might make things even worse.

For the hundredth time in it's short short life, loster lobster was lost once again.

Oh and on another note...

ARGH.

Just finished reading Miss Julie. It's like a more violent and sexual version of Hedda Gabler. Coupled with the other world lit text of Medea, one cannot help but wonder if the male dominated school is trying to send us a subtle message, like WOMEN CHOP OFF MALE BALLS AND THEN COME TO NASTY ENDS, or something equally pleasant. I sort of felt the same way for Twelfth Night which included a cross dressing heroine, as if the underlying message was HAY DRESS LYK MAN. WE R GRT :D

Somehow looking at History too makes me think the school is trying to send out a message by teaching Warfare as a subject (though it could be argued that anything military based is ultimately attractive to boys, who consist of 90% of full/HL History candidates in school I think, therefore easier to teach), like they're trying to psyche up the guys to be excited! for National Service or something.

I know it might be paranoia or something, but when it comes to this school, I always feel like there are so many layers to everything, that the school is trying to psycho us to have a certain type of thinking or something (minus the obvious devotions and sermons), like one has to be constantly be on guard or be sucked along by the subliminal messages.

On another brighter note, Jia Hui sent me the soundtrack to Jeux d'enfants (:

Like a third rate literature hack

The weather is a metaphor for how I feel inside.

Faith keep me strong
Love lead me on

Empty is this vessel
the water has fallen out
cascading slowly and melancholy

Ever since I donated money to Worldvision last year, as a Christmas donation in lieu of others, they've been sending me appeals for donations every now and then. Every time I see it, it invariably creates a huge feeling of guilt in me.

Here I sit, in my room with my fan blowing, Inara singing and typing away on my laptop. What have I done to deserve all of this? While this form of questioning is certainly not new to me (indeed playing Real Lives and the huge number of times I was 'born' in Africa and inflicted with a number of diseases even before I entered school, that is IF I even entered school, brought up the issue in my mind) never is it so acute as when one of those mass mail letters come by. Was I sent here for a purpose, or was it merely luck that I ended up being born to the set of parents that I have now, in such conditions?

Anyway as you can guess this post was inspired when I came back and yet another letter was waiting in the letter basket, which of course I opened. This leads me to another thought, why do I give money to them? Is it because I truly want to help, or is it because I feel guilty that I was accorded such opportunities while their lives might even end before it truly began, or even worse, is it because I want to use it to show to other people how altruistic I am? (as one article argued recently). I don't I can even quite begin to answer that, or even truly want to know the answer as it might ruin my idea of myself as a person and so the question lies there, hanging ominously and unanswered.

Why do we do the things we do? (And perhaps I have found my idea for my TOK presentation!)

I love Friendster, it has a virus now.

I LAWL.

Saviors of the Soul indeed.

Yet another week without the presence of the sexy Irishman who has gone back to the land of leprechauns and shamrocks, complaining that it is cold upon yonder, during summer nonetheless. Thanks to his absence, this week has been relatively slack, thank goodness.

Today I did my IOP. I was still coughing though, I hoped to have recovered in time for it, but I guess I can't control such thing. Irritating to be coughing for so long though, it has it's own little weird effect on my already weak digestive system :x IOP went pretty well I guess, slightly over 15 minutes compared to the 20 minutes I clocked yesterday when I practiced. The Englishman was scowling throughout it, and argh, I really have no idea what's stuffed up his ass. He seemed like he want to jump and and challenge every point that I made. Hope he graded me fairly though, he seemed to take offense when I praised Roy over Rushdie.

I do believe that we are thisclose to yet another financial crisis.

Everybody panic! The US Economy is held at China's ransom.

NOOOO THIS IS THE CLOSEST I'VE EVER COME TO FINISHING BEFORE!!! (well out of the maybe 5 times I've played it)

Yep, time for yet another weird conspiracy website, ala occult symbols popping up in famous trademarks and logos :O :O :O

And to get you guys interested, here's a totally Japanese-inexplicable picture. Dinosaurs humping handphone users.


And if you wondering, I was looking for images for my IOP (internal oral presentation).

I'm 100% sure having a acid reflux doesn't include a screwed up nose and lots of phlegm-ey coughs, so it appears that in my weakened state I have been inflicted with yet another sickness, the flu I believe. THE JOY THE JOY.

Anyway yesterday I got to play Livin La Vida Loca at the track meet. Stupid Patrick then changed iPods because he said my music sucked. HELLO, it was meant to suck. Like Nic playing A*Teens and Tay Zonday. I wanted to play Video Killed the Radio Star, but no one had the Buggles on their iPods, how sad.

So anyway today I elected to stay home after a drippy nose last night in addition to other weakening things. I don't think I missed much but I have a feeling the higher ups will be on my case for 'pon'ing the wonderful, spendiferous ONEACS :D:D:D:D:D:D whatever. Sounds like it was a waste of time.

And in a massive stroke of irony, I am sick during the holidays. How much does that suck? Not that I had much planned anyway, but spending free time (Oh how I have missed your acquaintance since I started school!) sleeping is totally not my idea of fun.

Erk. Hope I get better soon :x

HELLO MY VOICE IS GONE.

Last night I couldn't sleep at all. 12 passed into 1 and the hours melded and folded over each other, the next one bringing mounting frustration and when I got up my voice was gone, flown away on a sea of chocolate.

Then I had to try and get to school by 7, so I got up earlier to try and get a cab to school, but they all ignored me and I got fed up and walked to Holland Road, there the same thing happened and as the minutes zoomed past I had to call my school bus driver in desperation and he very nicely picked me up from the bus stop at Jelita.

At school I went with Chun Wui to the Audi and everyone else was there and Le Reverse Weeaboo had a look of horror on his face when I spoke and quickly took over my reading parts, so in the end I helped everyone mark attendance and some NCC boys were making jokes about someone's name and sex (his initials were C X something), much to my amusement at their brazenness.

Throughout the day I didn't feel tired at all, but breathing got increasingly hard as more phlegm formed at the back of my throat. Even sexy Irishman's totally incomprehensible lessons had no effect on making me tired. I did nod off a little during Ecology though. But either way I've gone for more than 24 hours without sleeping, and I don't feel the least bit tired: worrying to say the least.

After school I asked my dad to pick me up so I could go to the doctor's straight and when I got into the car he was fuming mad because my maid told him to come at 4:30pm when I clearly said 4:50pm (I did it in 24 hours format: 1650). When I asked my maid later she said 50 = 1/2 therefore 1650 hours = 4:30pm . Anyway we ended up just missing the doctor's by a little bit and had to return at night when the clinic opened again.

I went in and the doctor told me I had some acid reflux, bla bla bla, so SEE I'M NOT CONTAGIOUS IDIOTS. He didn't even ask if I wanted a MC. When my dad arrived he spotted the brochure for HPV inoculation, ie: Cervical Cancer, so after the last patient came out (since the clinic was now empty anyway) my dad went to ask the doctor about it and BOOM, before I knew it I was being offered up to have a needled poked into me ):

Ow jab.

Hopefully I can sleep tonight!

So today during recess I left school early to go to the Ob-Gynae because I'm 2 months pregnant* and I was keen to escape from Swimming PE.

Anyway no, I have some sort of infection, leave you to imagine/don't imagine where it is and 1) I wanted to see the doctor as soon as possible 2) I couldn't do PE and didn't have a plausible excuse so I managed to arrange for my dad to bring me and green formed after Econs. I had to return back for UG awards rehearsal anyway so it wasn't like I was skipping school so I could return home to slack moar.

My dad brought me to a clinic near school and the doctors there were two brothers. That's right: a dude rifled round my knickers - for less than 10 seconds anyway, and he just poked me once (there was a female nurse there helping me though). When I think about it, it seems strange, but honestly he must have seen more vagoos than I have seen in my entire life, looking at my own included, so surely there was nothing pervy about it. Basically he ran through things I had already found out myself online the previous night (the joys of internet self diagnosis!) and asked me a battery of questions. The one I found most interesting was, "Are you sexually active?", to which I replied "No" and then he leaned in closer and stared right into my eyes** "Have you had sexual intercourse before?", "No".

Afterwards I had lunch at the hawker centre there before going back to school.

At 2 I went for the awards thing with Patrick, Nic and Chun Wui and Asyikin and by horrendous luck, I got both of the Indonesian names. Nothing against Indonesians, but in South East Asia they have the most fantastically tonguetwistertwitter hard names (well the Chinese Indonesians anyway). Mai wasn't there so I had to take over for her reading, and when I was reading out the BB (her section) during the dry run, it was a disaster. Some students weren't there and as a result the names announced were wrong because the sequence was out of whack, and earlier some overeager students went out fast and I got lost. AHHHH. Like the prospect of screwing up in front of everyone (well my voice anyway since we get to hide behind the curtains) was not scary enough, I really did mess up :x

Freaking scary. Can't imagine Monday. I guess I'll have to practice during the weekend or something, since I can/am unduly nervous for something inconsequential to the rest of my life (unless I mess up real good and this becomes the stuff of legendary anecdotes).

So wooooo. This is quite literally one of the longest posts I've done in a long time. Have a great weekend!

*surely you can't be daft enough to believe that right?
** there's some saying that when you lie, you can't look at someone/you'll blink your eyes

-----

Anyway here's an interesting link: John Frum and the Cargo Cults. It's related a little to TOK, so give it a read. Pretty cool too (:

So far everyone has been saying that the Simpsons movie has been utter crap, and I personally haven't seen it, but from what I've heard on the net, they really went all out on the advertising campaign.

As guessed that is a Simpsons rendition of me, LOL, using the Simpsonizer! I used the usual Anna picture, since that one has just about sold it's picture soul to the hounds of hell. Go check it out :D

Sigh I miss I miss!

Okay my Real Lives game just divided by zero and died.

Today after I came back from school, I went to take a nap and end up overshooting my planned time by 1 hr+ (goodness knows how I will get to sleep tonight :x ). Anyway for the first time in a long time, I dreamed.

It was really weird and extremely life-like, I thought it was real! But I would never have wished it was. I dreamt (why is there firefox's squiggly red line below that word?!) that I did something which was misinterpreted by everyone and made the one I love the most really angry at me :x and toward the end of the dream I received a wedding invitation to Christian Coulson's wedding [the invitation was apparently from the bride's side: apparently I was a fan of her but I don't think she exists in real life]!!! In my dream Cielo got invited too (mine was because I was a member of a fan club) and I was calculating if I would be able to make it, it was in a US state AK (Alaska) and was in October.

But yes that was weird. I remember Cheryl was in it and so was Lex, along with other people from class (+ Petrina from 5.2) and we were wandering about and going to someone's house (it seemed to be mine, but it doesn't look like mine) and blahhh. Weird dream :x

Best part: When I woke up I realised that I wasn't going to Christian's wedding and wouldn't get a chance to see him, I felt disappointed. LOL. And relieved that nothing bad happened :/