Monday, July 14, 2008

Thinking on a macro level about the events of today and the recent amusement I have found myself, I realised I created a mini monster. This is mainly because what was once a personal blog where I could at least allude to something that was bothering me with the idea that the majority of people who would read my words would be those who I was close to has now been thrust into some sort a public eye of LOL-ness (which it is really, I can't deny that).

This then leads to the problem where I am forced to censor myself in order to try and maintain some sort of dignity about my being (yes, please laugh at that statement) - but on the other hand part of me finds the idea of self censorship quite distasteful. I am who I am after all, why should I hide it? I am human, I feel when things do not go as expected. Except this leads to the problem of everyone knowing how much my life 'sucks' and bla bla bla when I don't want them to know. What a conundrum.

Whatever it is, today was saved from the fiery depths of day hell by my visit to Ianthe's house to surprise her for her birthday. While waiting for Miss Leong to come home, I ended up playing with Masie (oh no is that how you spell her name) for about thirty minutes. As I played with her, I kept thinking about how nice it is to be a dog. All they need are belly rubs to be satisfied and happy with life. Humans on the other hand, fall prey to the problem of having insatiable wants. Boo.

Today also marks the day in which I foresee a few things going downhill, and frankly this realisation brings about an almost unbearable pain to my consciousness. However I know there is nothing I can do about it, all I can do is brace myself as best as I can for the upcoming business and hope enough of me remains unscathed to continue fighting the battle known as life.

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