I'm listening to Breakeven by The Script now,

I have one more been stricken by another bout of air pollution induced asthma. Look out the window, notice how everything looks a bit more washed out and glow-ey, like a 'nostalgia' themed camera filter: that's the haze from goodness knows where coming back into Singapore. This means more wheezing and coughing for me, in addition to dry throateyness. Unpleasant, but by no means life threatening as the asthma I had in Manila.

This got me thinking again about the boundaries of medical science. I went to the doctor's for the asthma and went to the psychiatrist on Wednesday. Both made attempts to solve the problems, but neither provided end-all solutions. The doctor today gave me some cough medicine so I'd cough less and something to clear the phlegm, but I still have the asthma. The psychiatrist just nodded as she listened to me and just told me to take more medication, but I still get depressed/paranoid/anxious. Neither have solved the problem.

And the end of the day I will still be wheezing away and having to avoid all those dodgy (but exciting) countries with severe air pollution. At night when I sleep I will sometimes be rendered an insomniac by feelings of being watched and visions of a man which glowing red neon eyes attacking me, be on the edges of a nervous breakdown for the silliest things like missing the bus and be depressed intermittently. There is simply no solution to anything I'm suffering from, except to just throw drugs at the problem and hope that it helps.

This led me to yet another thought, how the worst medical problems that one can suffer are mostly a failure of the body's system. This of course should have been glaringly obvious with Cancer and it's big ugly sickle shaped head (how nicely reminiscent of the grim reaper) being the top killer of people today - unless you had your cells scrambled by radiation, your cells have effectively gone beserk without any outside stimuli.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with my train of thought here, but the words "you are your own worst enemy" have just come to mind.