If you're wondering I managed to screw up my blog layout, so yes it will remain screwed till I find something to change it to!

Ouch, it appears someone who is in ACSIB from MGS thinks I was weird (though I throughly agree) and had no friends!

I wish I could laugh it off easily, but damn, it sure does sting a little, even though I am no longer there and have made new friends.

The human capacity to love and live is simply amazing, it surpasses all logical reasoning and understanding and everyday around the globe, it just happens.

The sun many not shine tomorrow, but we all know deep in our hearts that one day it will be back again.

And we will live to fight and love another day!

For Life Goes On.

Work work work!

I feel like I am going to die from the huge pile of work, all the same I feel so overwhelmed that I don't feel like doing a thing. Bio bio bio bio! I feel my soul flying away when I think of the Bio prac report I have to do and my upcoming test ):

And Econs! Crap crap crap ): I really think I am going to die. I understand little bits here and there, but it all doesn't seem to add up somehow.

Still in it's own little way life couldn't be more comforting now, with my waffle crisps (thank you for intro-ing them to me Ted Kin!) and you - keeping me sane and alive for next week's killer week!

I was in the SAC with Cheryl during the break and as we were walking back to class, we walked past the pond and saw Song Yeong and Gabriel there, staring at the fish.

Then she went "I found my fish!" and to my horror/amusement, she was pointing at this fish that was floating sideways. I burst out laughing. Oh dear God. "Uh, isn't it dead?" and just as I said that, the fish started wriggling a little and another fish floated by on it's side. "No wait! My fish is that one there! I remember it had more shiny stuff on the bottom."

Right about then I think I completely lost it - there were two fish that were going to end up as catfish food only one day after the fish sale. I'm sure murder was not on the minds of the year 6 class that thought to sell the fish for CAS.

In the morning I came to class and a really screwed looking plant was sitting on the drawers at the front of class. I went to take a closer look at it, and it looked really really bad - this from the girl who has a perpetually dying plant in her room for the past 4 years.

How many things are we (5.9) going to kill before this year is over?!

I'm so tired out and my mind has literally ceased to function.

Still life is good!

Unquantifiable! Absolutely undeniable!

I know I'm really late jumping onto this bandwagon, but I saw it on Ianthe's blog and decided to give it a try.



I find it really amusing that I look like Stephen Chow! WOOOO Kung Fu Hustle!

I also PLANNED TO DO WORK TONIGHT. But thanks to a certain bunch of mad 5.9ers, it's far too late for me to do anything.

The Night Safari!

As predicted it was dark and uh, I saw some animals. That kind of sums it up since the only animal that kind of left an impact on me was the Sugar Glider at the tram stop, it was so cute and tiny, awwww!

The bats in this aviary exhibit were pretty creepy too. While everyone was making jokes about Ted Kin supposedly dropping down from the ceiling, Patrick almost walked into a bat hanging from a branch near the broadwalk, not noticing anything odd at all. However I saw the bat and stopped in horror and then Cheryl started to freak out so we all had to literally spirit her away. To be fair it was a mega huge bat and it was just. hanging. there. I guess it was too accustomed to human beings already and couldn't care less about us.

On the second half of the tram, the group got split up and I was with Patrick. Behind us sat this really obnoxious annoying family. The kid didn't know how to shut up and was saying the most stupid things ever in a really annoying voice, but then I remembered I was a kid once and I could have possibly been that irritating too, so I tried to ignore it. Then the kid's parents took out a flashlight. with bubble wrap around it. WTF. The kid kept shining all over the place and into our eyes, it was really annoying. I wanted to say something, but in the end decided against it.

Also we walked past this asshole who was smoking a cigarette and holding onto a flashlight along the walking trail. Talk about the ultimate social dipshit. It didn't occur to me to have a spontaneous asthma attack as I passed him though, damn it. One day I will have an asthma attack with someone smoking around! FEAR ME.

All the same it was a pretty great night out with Cheryl and her constant WOLS-isms, and she even bought some odd bottle from the souvenir store there which apparently gives out bursts of light and creates a small fountain when drank out of, all for S$12.90! For some reason I can't wait to see it in action on Monday.

In the meantime: shitload of History work!

Oh and thanks to JC, Chun Wui and Elliot, I will never look at cows the same way again. Hooray.

As I was at the crossing at Orchard Boulevard with a classmate from my Japanese class, I saw my bus was slowing advancing towards the bus stop. As I cursed the prospect of missing the bus, the lights changed in my favour and I ran like hell and managed to get on.

On the bus I found a place to lean against in the standing area, my mp3 was working, the bus wasn't crowded and my bag wasn't heavy, yep things felt good (:

At the Holland Village bus stop, many people got off and this petite Filipino-looking woman got on and stood next to me, holding onto the same pole. I was looking around the bus and my eyes rested on a office worker who was sitting at those seats parallel to the sides of the bus and to my utter amusement he was giving the finger to his phone. The funniest part of it all was that he didn't do it in a really obvious rude way, but had his hand on his lap and the phone in the other hand, middle finger pointed straight at the phone, not budging the least.

I started to smile inanely, and then the woman next to me noticed too and we both started grinning silly, two strangers sharing an absurd joke, a private moment of amusement. When she got off I saw her look at me and smile, and I smiled too.

As I was walking back home from the bus stop, I saw a MPV, stopped at the side of the road, inside a man and a woman were sharing a long kiss. Usually the first thought that hit my mind would be "Get a room!", but for some reason it made me even happier to see that someone out there, at least for that moment, had someone to love, to hold and to cherish.

For my night, the little bit of love and closeness between strangers somehow made me feel happy, that as long as little things like that continued to occur, man would never lose their sense of humanity.

The little looks people exchange with knowing smiles, the grins I see directed at me, the words people say which seem so queer - why do I feel like there's a conspiracy brewing around me? Today I felt exceptionally paranoid, like I wasn't quite aware of something that everyone else around me knew.

-----

Last night a close friend mentioned to me a pattern she has seen throughout the time she had known me and I found myself thinking back to all the past things I had ever done, all the reactions and emotions I had once felt rushed back to me.

I found myself in Sec 2 again, a young girl filled with limerance and joy, then the same girl who's life felt full and loved the following year, only to have everything crash down and turn upside down in 2006. Then zoom! Others who went by in a flash, impacting my life as they went by and I found myself in 2007.

2007! The year of New Beginnings and New Things. And now the pattern continues, though somehow I know inside of me that this year will be different, and things are a-changing, for the better, that I am that little bit older and (hopefully!) wiser.

And I feel a trickle of Infinnate Joy coursing throughout my life, quietly but surely.

Today I woke up at 3.55am, saw the clock and thought it was 5.55am instead, stumbled around switching on lights and was about to switch off my alarm (set to ring at 6.00am) when I noticed the time. Yay.

Needless to say when I finally woke up at 6.00am, I was dead tired.

Nothing 'interesting' to report for today.

Today was still a good day nonetheless and I have finished the required Lu Xun reading. I don't quite get his stories if there's supposed to be some hidden meaning and usage of metaphors like what most short stories contain.

Oh goodness today during class Emil was so disgusting with his worn socks, slapping them at people's faces and rubbing them across the teacher's table. When I told him I was thisclose to throwing them out, he said they weren't worn, yet a simple check yielded the fact he wasn't wearing any socks at all.

Tomorrow I throw them into the pond!

Sick sick sick!

Oh and the teh tarik ice cream from Island Creamery is very nice (:

Judging from today's ride back home on 74 with the 'gang', Chun Wui, Joash, Patrick, Gerald and Darren, there really can be no day where we all ride back without any sort of perversion occurring. Like it was on the bus rides where the full horror of 'porteugese ' was brought to everyone's attention, thanks to CHUN WUI.

Anyway today I was talking to Patrick on the bus, having a normal bus ride for once, when Chun Wui somehow made a bet with Joash that he could make things more perverted in seconds, then he whipped out his socks (you'd have to have been in 5.9 or on the bus to know what I meant, I will not bring him further perverse joy by describing it) and started waving it around and then called out to me, disrupting my conversation.

NOOOOOOO. NOT IN PUBLIC YOU PERVERT!

Someone needs to be teabagged again!

Woooo! I feel damn high and happy now because I managed to find 3 very awesome books to use in my IA and EE!

Here they are in case anyone is interested (like anyone will every be):
Hidden Horrors: Japanese War Crimes in World War II
The Alleged "Nanking Massacre": Japan's rebuttal to China's forged claims
and
A Shameful Act: The Armenian Genocide and the Question of Turkish Responsibility

This morning as I was brushing my hair in my room after showering, my dad came in and suddenly went "Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!"

He was watching 300 last night.

Last evening I went back to MGS for the Thanksgiving Service and I met up with all my ex-classmates for a time of worship and to listen to Anthea's funny testimonial on MGS. After everything, I collected my O level cert (WOOO ALL MY As! I love love love [please do not think I am being arrogant, I have hardly done as well as most of current schoolmates, just that even 2 months down I can scarce believe my results]) and took some pictures before going off with my class for dinner at Toh Tuck Road.

As I was with B3, it suddenly hit me how much different life is now that I'm in what is still essentially a boy's school. Like yesterday Cielo walked in on Nicholas changing - twice. Then the other time I walked in on Gerald changing, and Cheryl for goodness-knows-who. Of course that list will probably grow, like yesterday I was in class when JC wanted to change and I refused to get out, so he took off his pants and I hid my eyes while he did the deed. There are countless other examples of what would never have happened in MGS, happening in ACSI, like the fake campaign posters for one ('Leon is your Peon') that make life so much more interesting and fun, yet vastly different.

On the other hand as I was with all the people, something in me felt that I was being disloyal because looking at everything, I realise I feel happier now with 5.9 Chronicles than I ever was with B3. Still I had a good time last night, though a slip of the tongue led to some trouble erupting and partially reanimating a previous Drama issue, I managed to talk to Miss Bong a little and thank her for the help and faith she put in me for English Lit.

And wooo! In 2016 we'll all be back for Founder's Day Dinner!

Ouch, I think it's time for me to go into hiding in school :x

I think I've finished the Econs Commentary.

Our minister mentor earns more than George Bush and 2 B movie stars annually!

ECONS IA ECONS IA!

Going by a sheer numbers probability alone, the odds of me having met some kind of pond scum like entities in MGS would have been much higher than in ACSI, especially since I've been there for all of a month. Actually less than that when you consider this is my 4th week here.

However I have. The worst kind of girl one could ever meet in your life and she is more horrid than I ever could have fathomed, already hurting three of my friends on her destructive vindictive whirlwind. When I first met her I had a bad impression and she managed to do nothing to alleviate it, making it worse than ever.

I thought I could see shit coming so I stayed away from her and her little gaggle, except it turns out the word 'gang' would be more appropriate in describing them, still I have been pulled into the mess because of my friends.

Oh God. More Drama.

all we know is falling

The past few days my asthma has been much better, though I still largely depend on my inhaler. The attacks are less frequent and I can breathe normally at least 75% of the time though I am still unable to sing or do any activity that requires a lung full of air.

Funnily enough, around the time my asthma started, my stomach stopped giving me trouble. Now I hardly feel hungry anymore, but the urge and want to eat is there so there is no real problem.

It's almost like I can never be fully healthy, oh well, I can still function and not drop dead - that's good enough for me!

Today there was a lot of drama in school *cue Darren and his 'OMG DRAMA!' sign*. A day like this comes around once in a long time, breaking up the monotony of the days and for some reason, left me feeling quite blah, for lack of a better word. Almost like the highs and lows I had during the day spent up my entire allotment of emotions for the day. Still it ended on a good note, at least I have been led to believe so.

After I got home, I was reading my book and getting distracted by Gransazers on the television ever so often (YES I know! When my brother is around the tv is always tuned to arts/vasantham/kids central and switched on) and today was supposed to be some super emo drama episode.

Between some low budget explosions, team members of the supposed 'bad' Gransazers were fighting with each other because one of them was in love with their 'leader', this woman scientist. However they other members of the team had found out she was actually an alien tasked with destroying all the Gransazers on the Earth and they were fighting the lovefool because he refused to believe them.

There was a scene where the scientist and the lovefool were together and she went "No, please don't get too close to me, it'll ruin our mission!" and then both of them went all emo. The last scene she was in her alien form and the lovefool spotted her and she said the single most weirdest love confession I had ever heard (keep in mind it's Japanese translated to English), "I would kill every Gransazer and human on the Earth but spare you and bring you back to my planet so we could be together."

Then he killed her because she was going to kill another Gransazer. She fell to the ground and exploded in a ball of cheap bad special effects.

After lunch my father decided he wanted to drive around upper Bukit Timah, in the Hillview area, afterwards we passed by Bukit Batok nature reserve and he decided to drive up the steep path, to a small carpark located near the summit of that little hill.

He wanted to go out and explore the place and my mother decided to join him. Because of my asthma, I couldn't exactly go out and climb the long flight of stairs that led to the peak and decided to remain in the car, half watching my brother and half watching the monkeys that ran amok the empty car park.

About 5 of them were perched on the roof of a red car that was parked right next to the forest. They were scratching each other's asses, looking into the eyes of their partners, treating the windshield like a slide, gazing at their monkey reflections in the shiny polished car top and treating the car like their miniature jungle gym. Then the largest one hopped off at the others followed suit shortly.

The large one disappeared from sight into the foliage and for a while there were no monkeys. Then I noticed a monkey couple emerge from the forest and hop simultaneously onto a bike parked nearby the car. As expected more monkeys soon joined them and they all sat contentedly on the leather seats on the bike. However things became more curious when I saw the monkeys passing some white fluffy looking objects around, and attempting to eat them.

Then I saw another monkey in a 'digging' position at the side of the seat.

Excavating the seat. Showing the inner white foam padding. Oh. My. Goodness.

Right about then my parents came back and I got out of the car with the intention of shooing them away when the owner appeared. He came and stood next to the motorcycle, his back facing me. Thank goodness because I shudder to think of his expression at that point of time. LOL.

As we left the carpark, the man had taken out a bottle and was washing the seat. Maybe the monkeys left a present on his seat in addition to trying to eat it. Monkey!

I went to the doctor's again today after school because my asthma has really been getting to a point where it's pure unadulterated misery, as opposed to unadulterated misery.

Anyway he merrily told me that I had the same thing that had caused Teresa Teng to die. With a smile. Yay.

Now $63 later, I am the proud owner of a purple inhaler and more of those penicillin pills he gave me on Sunday.

I hope I get well soon. I feel handicapped by my inability to run, to speak, to sing, to walk a distance without becoming breathless. It's like one, long, drawn out asthma attack that nothing will cure.

My asthma is getting really bad, like I can barely breathe. When I laugh I am left literally breathless. During dinner I could barely speak a sentence without struggling for breath.

At this rate there will be a Melodie shaped hole in the universe.

On another note, I escaped the concentration camp like spot check today because after this teacher checked the length of my skirts, I was 'dismissed' with the rest of the 5.9 girls and made my way back to class, then I literally rushed down to the Bio labs after the REW session, exactly what my Bio teacher had commanded us to do. Cheryl couldn't find me so I was left there sitting with the guys wondering what the hell had happened since the rest of the girls and our Bio teacher was missing.

Midway I went off to investigate and there were NO year 5 girls around at all. OMG. Then I met Talbot who said he was also searching for the girls from his Chem class. LOL. Finally I ran into CNE who said all the girls had been called back into the Audi. Shit. Then I decided since I was so late, I'd be in deep shit, so I went back to hide in the Bio labs till the girls finally appeared all distressed with the Bio teacher.

Anyway it wasn't like I was infringing any rule, so even if I was wandering around after the spot check, no one would have been able to tell I wasn't there (as in no amendments needed to be made to my person). Heh.

OMG my voice is super low now! (Well not Cielo low)

I think it was too much ventolin! Shit shit shit.

It really sounds different.

Okay now back to TULIPS.

This would be my 444th post. How apt since I was practically owned the entire day by all my teachers, like I'd get called upon, 'scolded' and what not, including forgetting to bring the Bio theory work which I REALLY HAD DONE. I even got called a 'typical Singaporean' by Paul Tan -_____-

On the other hand lunch time was really entertaining... Hohoho.

And in other dreary news I have to rush off a commentary on Tulips by Sylvia Plath for Paul Tan by tomorrow. I don't even know how to write a commentary. Bloody. Hell.

The weekend is ending.

OMG OMG OMG OMG.

I have done literally nothing! As in I have tried in bits here and there, but overall nothing is done.

I still have 3 commentaries to write for English, Chinese essay (not exactly planning to do), essay questions and prac for Biology, lots of reading for History, to finish God of Small Things and not incur Connor's wrath like I did on Thursday.

Not to mention there are a lot of other things I have to deal with, personal and outside issues, coupled with some things which are really placing a LOT of emotional stress on me and I feel so helpless among it all. Sometimes I really feel like just telling someone to go commit suicide for all the trauma he's causing to people around, but I can't, for obvious reasons. He just might go ahead and do it.

I need more time. I honestly do! Maybe in a way I enjoy going to school because the people around me make me laugh, help me forget the swirling mass of a mess that is around me.