The little looks people exchange with knowing smiles, the grins I see directed at me, the words people say which seem so queer - why do I feel like there's a conspiracy brewing around me? Today I felt exceptionally paranoid, like I wasn't quite aware of something that everyone else around me knew.

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Last night a close friend mentioned to me a pattern she has seen throughout the time she had known me and I found myself thinking back to all the past things I had ever done, all the reactions and emotions I had once felt rushed back to me.

I found myself in Sec 2 again, a young girl filled with limerance and joy, then the same girl who's life felt full and loved the following year, only to have everything crash down and turn upside down in 2006. Then zoom! Others who went by in a flash, impacting my life as they went by and I found myself in 2007.

2007! The year of New Beginnings and New Things. And now the pattern continues, though somehow I know inside of me that this year will be different, and things are a-changing, for the better, that I am that little bit older and (hopefully!) wiser.

And I feel a trickle of Infinnate Joy coursing throughout my life, quietly but surely.