Can-tu-ta-nah ba?

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Honestly as of right now, today, the 17th of January 2008, 15 days since the start of the 2008 school year - I feel ready to crash out and burn.

I just feel so tired and overwhelmed about it all, I have scarcely a minute to really just let go of all the things on my mind and just take a break. Breathe. Be free. I feel so tense now that you could literally break a brick on my back. This is bullshit really, I'm supposed to be in the prime of my life, getting piss drunk at silly hedonistic wasteful parties and maxing out daddy's credit card at the malls with my girlfriends and flirting with the boys and going out on dates. Instead I spend my weekends home, in front of Her (my laptop; sometimes called She depending on the grammar of the sentence) listening to music and doing work. I have no life at all.

The amount of work we have is simply insane, inane and none too insightful. It's just and endless pile of shit, one after another. At this juncture all I can think of really as a consolation is that 'Hey, at least I did my EE and TOK essay stuff already', but just looking at it makes me feel like I'm not better off than those who have yet to start/finish judging by the absolute shit I wrote. Right about now the entire sequence of my TOK essay sequence is:

- intro culture
- why not culture (as an influence)
- yes culture
- yes experience
- not experience
- other ways of knowing
- 'knowledge'
- 'objective'
- er some shit about soft and hard sciences
- how it can be both obj and subj, some linking of experience
- why obj does exist
- how obj can be subj
- conclusion (not yet written)

I feel like dying more. It's utterly depressing and discouraging just thinking of all the work that needs to be done and I feel literally thisclose to having a nervous breakdown.

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Things that make me feel better:
1) Bathing with Body Shop's Passionfruit liquid soap (Steph's Christmas Gift to me in 2005! It still smells the same though)
2) Listening to Philippe Rombi's Jeux d'enfants OST
3) I can't think of anything else. This is a bad sign.

Sigh.