I just read Daryl's entry on his delayed reaction to the Y6 results, you know the sort that comes after the euphoria has died down and the cow shit starts to stink again? Yeah that kind. Which was similar to what I had last year and this year again.

As Daryl and I wandered down, me clutching paper and pen to interview old friends on their feelings for the results, it felt like deja vu MGS circa 2007 again. The palpable tension mingling with nervous laughter, resigned looks from comrades, viewed this time from the outside but not quite outside at the same time.

Then the results came and blah blah blah we cheered for the 103 as they slowly snaked their way up stage and I recognised names I had read out over the past year for various awards - old friends long lost who had probably forgotten this little weird girl, but I felt happy nonetheless. This was their day.

As they were all assembled on stage, Daryl noted how there was now a marked separation of the 42ers and the rest both in physical terms and in academic terms. For a while we sobered up till the mass came to collect their results and we were swept away on a wave of overwhelming joy. I sought out friends who were on stage and congratulated them. I watched Alistair Soo tackle someone to the ground in glee and Kaijun running to take pictures of the scene. Reality kicked in again when I saw a certain someone storming about kicking over chairs as he walked about.

There were many screams of happiness and relief and jumping into the air, but in the corners I saw a few who wanted to do some screaming and jumping themselves for very different reasons.

I stood there quietly as the mass behind me continued their antics, a faceless person in the middle of a crowd, just watching her sob her heart out. It was simultaneously the saddest and most frightful thing I have ever seen. Her parents were at her side, loving her no less than they did the day she was born; but it was no use for she could only see one thing ahead of her and that was nothing.