Recently I've found myself irrationally angry at my travel plans to Nepal and USA. I was angry at how difficult it was to change the tickets, how there might be an extra charge incurred, how I even HAD to change the tickets at all. Then I got angry at the fact that I made the plans in the first place, how little time it left me in Singapore - gosh what was I thinking in the first place? I've even gotten angry at my parents/relatives for the fuss they made over the fact that I wanted to change my plans, how they too got annoyed with the fact I wanted to change the original plans. Then I also got angry (to myself) at Dexter for even appearing in my life for the first place and messing up my original plans.
All this while I knew my anger was completely irrational, it's really no one's fault that things happened they way they have happened, yet I couldn't get rid of it. Today I finally realised it was a pent up resentment against time itself that made me react this way, resentment that time was moving forward and that I had no way to stop it, that I was completely helpless, the worst feeling there is in the world. Now that I realised the source of this anger, I suppose I can finally learn to suck it up and move on. (Boo. I wish I had a time machine.)
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