Tonight I read the conversation we had that very night. It was magic, joy and beauty. Tonight it is pain, sadness and longing.

I cried then. Tonight I cry too, but for a different reason.

I wish I could just talk to you again, even if to just say something like, "looks like I was right, one question really did ruin everything." but I know it'd be for nothing. You are hard, harder than a diamond and equally cold. I am soft and fold easily. Either that or I fracture into bits and become unrepairable for the longest time. Spun silk to the armoured Kevlar.

There is so much I want to say yet never can, lost in this wilderness that is made of lost things and human life. I whisper it into the air, to treasured people - but it will never find it's target.

I have a very long journey ahead of me, and it pains more when I think it's without you, even for all the hurt you've brought me.